At the relatively late age of "Almost 35" I have discovered that my first child is due early next year. Obviously this has rasied many concerns about parenting.
1) Preschool applications and interviews- All the TV shows I watch and parenting magazines indicate that now is the time to start finding appropriate daycare. It seems that college and future job prospects are at risk here.
2) College fund- I have commenced saving soda cans and beer bottles to give my child a future. God bless the 5 cents a can laws. Pity I don’t live in Michigan, then we’d be talking Ivy League.
3) Finding Shaolin Temple Fighting Monks- After watching endless bad movies and Kung Fu reruns I have decided that a child taught the Way by fighting monks will be able to handle anything. At least those things involving spears and thrusting one’s hand into hot sand. Now to find a daycare run by monks. It will solve many of my problems, and keeping the kid in robes would not be too tough.
4) Outside forces- If the following things occur, have a plan in place:
a. Child and all others in the nursery are very blond with glowing eyes
b. Strange severely dressed people appear at your door offering to be a nanny or tutor.
c. A Mr. Stiltskin calls asking about the straw-into-gold agreement.
d. The friendly couple downstairs suddenly becomes VERY interested in your pregnant
wife and the phrase “Our Dark Lord†is bandied about.
5) Trying to get the v-chip to lock out Barney, TeleTubbies, and Dora the Explorer.
-Ed
Ed Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> At the relatively late age of "Almost 35" I have
> discovered that my first child is due early next
> year.
Congrats!!
Don't worry about being 'almost 35' with your first. I was 37 at my first, and 39 for my second. Not that I was much better in my late thirties, but I was just too clueless in my younger years to have had kids (responsibly anyway).
They DO wear you out, though.
Again, congratulations. :)
Hey thanks, its a big thing for us.
-Ed
Congrats!
Oh, and you're just now thinking about "Preschool applications and interviews." It's far too late. Your kid will never make it. You have to do these things before you even get married in order to have a shot. The Marines, though, will have some slots open.
Congratulations! Do not stress too much over the new little one. People of far lower intelligence have children. Believe me, I see them every day.
Jenna thinks that I go to the "Apple Store" (as she calls Applebees) every day and use my kung fu to defend it from the monkeys. It was easier than trying to explain the Marine Corps. I heartily recommend giving the child martial arts training. I find that separating the white and brown rice while hung upside down is a winner. Once they get older you can beat their stomach with a stick as they do the exercise.
*Making notes*
"Spare the harsh kung-fu discipline to reach enlighenment and spoil the child eh?"
Man my wife will love this advice. I'll be parent of the year at this rate.
-Ed
Congrats Ed! Mine are grown so I can tell you a few things that are key to raising decent, intelligent kids.
They are people and deserve as much respect as any adult, treat them as such.
Listen to them and talk to them. ( I routinely want to backhand some of the parents I see in public telling their kids to shut up when they have an opinion about something)
Keep them creatively stimulated, but also remember to let them be kids.
Have fun with them!!
I agree with Ulthar about the age thing, it's better you have more experience than youth when it comes to raising children...
WARNING: Pick your battles with them, don't treat them in any way you wouldn't want to be treated & make them earn almost everything- except your love.
Hey, thanks so much for the advice and support everyone. This is like one stop shopping: bad movies and good kids. Its nice to be able to share.
AND I'll have a new tabula rasa of a brain to show Godzilla movies to and to teach about baseball. Anyway this is big stuff for me, and I'm getting excited now the shock phase is over. We're looking at relocating to a more family friendly town closer to my work. Its a lot easier for Anna to commute and work from home than it is for me. So more biggies may be coming, not sure if twins is something to contemplate.
Thanks again!
-Ed
Hey, thanks so much for the advice and support everyone. This is like one stop shopping: bad movies and good kids. Its nice to be able to share the news and get advice from the pros.
AND I'll have a new tabula rasa of a brain to show Godzilla movies to and to teach about baseball. Anyway this is big stuff for me, and I'm getting excited now the shock phase is over. We're looking at relocating to a more family friendly town closer to my work. Its a lot easier for Anna to commute and work from home than it is for me. So more biggies may be coming, not sure if twins is something to contemplate.
Thanks again!
-Ed
Congradulations Ed ! ! !
When my daughter was somewhere around 7-10 years old we would have Friday night movies. All Godzilla films, Abbott & Costello films, latest comedy, and even a couple Romero Zombie films.
You probably won't be able to finish a movie for the next 5 years unless you have some kind of help.
Your young tabla rasa will probably find a heavy dose of Nickolodeon without your help.
About the age thing you will find that it changes every year for both yourself and the little one.
(http://www.glitter-graphics.com/images/pub/11/11527xwthkh5rw1.gif)