This is a bit different from the review, but still funny. It is low budget, and something that is alot like bad 70s kungfu films and blacksploitation films. When I watched it, and got to the first fight scene, I realized I needed to be drinking to watch this. I paused it, and got some liquor. By the musical number, I realized I just wasn't drinking fast enough.
This IS a funny movie, but it first requires some pre-moving drinking. Second of all,don't expect it to be the awesomest funniest movie ever. Just watch it for what it is, and its damn amusing. I agree jesus should not have cut his hair, but oh well.
Also, certain things in this movie are kept not too extravagant, because unlike previous reviewers, its not blasphemous, just modern. Its a view of christianity that criticizes some dogma, but believes the heart of christianity is true. Jesus's final speech does say that, where he thinks people should think for themselves. Its only blasphemous in that most people wouldn't think of jesus as a kungfu vampire slayer.
This movie is entertaining, provided these few things: 1> you have alcohol, 2> you don't have a friend telling you this is the funniest movie in the world, 3> you enjoy low budget films, particularly low budget kungfu films, and of course, 4> you give it a chance without expectations. If not, I could very much see how you'd hate this film.
this film is puuuuure shiiiite!
Come to think of it, it isn't even a film.
Just plain horrible.
Give it up Lee, please, for you an embarrassment to the Canadian filmmaking community.
Can't wait to see Harry Knuckles 47. Sooo original.
Hi there! I'm from Ottawa where this movie was filmed, and had a chance to see the director in the theatre when it was playing. A friend of mine is ... I think... a cousin to the director, and got to play one of the Athiests who gets beat up. I loved the film, and it was great fun recognizing all the locations used.
I hope it comes out on DVD.
Just the title alone makes it worth buying. I'm going to keep an eye out for this one.
Where the bloody hell can i find this film in England? i want it.....i need it
P.S.whic band does the theme music as it is very cool
Hell, seeing a kung-fu Jesus is excuse enough to get this title.
Pretty much so every flick with El Santo is gonna be MST material, so this would DEFINATELY be worth buying.
With Tashiro (above) I got to see it in the theatre with the director and a few others present. They encouraged a certain amount of audience participation (cheer for the good guys, boo the bad guys, etc.), which made it great fun.
Fun facts: the Voice of God which addresses Jesus from a bowl of ice cream and cherries in the Hooters is played by a local movie critic, Jay Stone.
You can even get JCVH T-shirts, printed with cartoon versions of either the heroes or the villains.
Link is http://odessafilmworks.com
*Rofl* I love it... I love it I love it I love it...
I bought the thing on title alone... i was not dissapointed. it was as bad as I had hoped. it was a hit at our friday bad movie night
Is this movie for real? I would think that watching this movie is akin to what a really weird parallel universe would be like where Jesus Christ knows more martial arts moves than Bruce Lee. I bet Father McGruder is his sidekick as well. Together they fight the evil forces of Zombies and Vampires to save humanity! I've got to hand it to the Canadians. They produce some really weird stuff from movies to really twisted individuals. I'm just disappointed that Tom Green wasn't cast as the Savior of all mankind.
From my home sweet home of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada... check out Harry Knuckles and the Treasure of the Aztec Mummy for more Lee Gordon DeMarbre goodness.
HOLY s**t!!! This movie sounds like the greatest piece of art ever!! By the way has anyone ever heard of a film called El Frenetico and Go-girl? I found the soundtrack at a used CD store but have failed to find the film, any help would be apriciated
Piece of crap. As a Canadian though I shouldn't be surprised. Christianity only constitutes up to 30 percent of the Canadian populous. Blasphemous to a T. I only wish I had the chance to prevent this movie from ever being made.
P.S. It cost 40000$ to make this piece of garbage. Kevin Smith made Clerks at 22000$.
Stupid Canadian blasphemous idiots. If only I knew where I could get a hold of the movie makers and confront them personally about it.
um..does this mean that Jesus doesn't like Vamps?
...err...are they bad or something?..I dindn't see the movie
just wanted to know if Jesus says that vampires are allowed.
I take it they aren't..right?
Ow, I friend brought this movie to my apartment. Within ten minutes I wanted to get myself plastered and high to stop the pain. I wish I wasn't out of booze and weed as it was too late to get any that night. The pain. The pain. I have burned my television and my DVD player.
What the holy gobs**te!**
Are you guys for real?! Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter was clearly the worst piece of junk I have ever witnessed. Movies with cheap sound and special effects usually get a laugh from me but this one was too much... there are boundaries to crappism, please, all who live for this film, get a life! it sucked!
REALITY FLASH: IT WASN'T EVEN FUNNY!
It could have been a little bit funny if Jesus had kept his traditional robe and hairdoo but no... he goes and gets a lame-ass haircut and an ADIDAS jumpsuit or something, man this blew!
Wow.....still smiling....wow.....whoever came up with this concept is a genious
this is one of the best movies i have ever seen. i saw it the last day it was playing at The Mayfare in ottawa, and was hooked on it.
the movie is on DVD, and as far as i know it's available at Record Runner in Ottawa.
and yes, it has audio commentary
Great show! And BTW, the vampires may be able to swim - but the priests blessed the lake. So it was suddenly holy water.
freakin brilliant.
And it's $20 cdn on VHS, that's what I've got it on....
Sorry to disappoint you guys and gals, but this movie really sucks.
I want my fourteen canadian bucks (I paid for my friend and I) back!!!!
No, seriously, how could you :
- Make Jesus have a haircut AFTER ONLY 10 MINUTES!?!!?! The only things which history left us about the man is it's own bearded and long-haired image!!?!?!!? Without that, he is nothing BUT AN ORDINARY CRAPPY GUY!??!!?
- Not respect the synopsis. There was no Final Judgement Day. There was no "once the vampires are killed, we will all live in Heaven" funny thing like this. Everything happened like NOBODY cared.
- [BADLY] Post-synchronize all of the voices?!?!?! It's awful.
- Edit 85 minutes of a scenario helding no more than 15 minutes of content? You really stretched most of the scenes too far. Make a short movie of it and I will say : GREAT! A long feature only drags on and on.
And my negative comments could go on and on too. Seriously, I think it's sad such a great idea could have been
destroyed only because of incredibly bad decision making.
I know JCVH ghouls and gals worked hard on this project, but you know, sometimes, it's NOT a good idea to DIRECT and EDIT your movie.
The director really should make another version with an editor able to distance itself from the shooting and the images themselves.
It can really be done better than this.
I now have the pleasure of owning this on DVD. I've been waiting a while to see it, and I must say it's everything I expected it to be (except the dubbed voices, but that just adds to it) I mean, hell, it's better than the Star Wars Holiday Special. It was once referred to as an instant cult classic - I agree, if not for the Juses Kung Fu, then God as a bowl of Ice Cream
NO!!! This is the worst movie ever. I have to now go buy it for my friend, the B movie buff. I don't even think the sound, plot, or acting is good enough for a B rating. It's definityly an F. Completely laughable.
This is one of the funniest movies i've seen. Everyone should buy it. You can get it on amazon for like 10 bucks.
I literally had to turn this movie off at minute #30. Not because it's bad, which it is, but because I was laughing so hard I could not funtion as a human being. I couldn't eat, talk, or even breathe. Desperately, I want to watch the rest of it, but I need about two hours to pause for fits of laughter.
Everything that has been written above is true, and then some. Horrible script, acting, wardrobe, editing, it's all there. The audio sounds like it's dubbed in English, from English, but it's about 1/2 second out of sync and the exact wording doesn't match. It's got the 80's-style makeover sequence of Jesus. It's got stop-motion violence like the Benny Hill Show. A mohawked priest riding shotgun on a moped. And the spinning cross that sings "Jeeeeesus" between scenes, oh don't even get me started on that. Dear Lord, this movie is so absolutely putrid it has come full-circle and is now a 'Work of Art' in my book. It is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
Todd
...There are no words. *weeps for joy*
This is a BAD movie...it is so bad it is good! My kids and I laughed our way through some of the funniest scenes in movie history....from the toothpicks as stakes in the heart to the incredible sounds a person makes when they are hit ... this movie was too much! The only problem with all this is that the movie was never intended to be a comedy! ;)
Did anyone else notice the incredible amount of blood that comes from a vampire's mouth when he is staked with either a toothpick or dart. WOW!
If you accomplish nothing else in your lives...see this movie just once! We caught it on Scream Channel and it was well worth it.
Everyone should see this movie, but don't take it for what it seems to be trying to be. I absolutely loved it, because of how horrible it was. I couldn't stop laughing at it. How about the first line in the movie, "Where have all the lesbians gone?" It really did go downhill from there.
WATCH IT!!! BUY IT!!! LOVE IT!!!
Oh my god! A movie about Jesus hunting vampires is BLASPHEMOUS? Who would have thought?
Anyway, this movie is great. A hit at parties and catholic funerals. Recommended!
This is the greatest piece of cinimatography ever produced!! I SMELL AN OSCAR!!
It's fun, but in all fairness it's one gimmic stretched beyond its limits. If you don't have buddies to MST3K it with, the movie will drag on. Nonetheless, it has quite a few quoteable lines, such as "Where have all the lesbians gone.", and that Maria Moulton as Mary Magnum... daa-amn! She smiles way too much for any sane person, but she provides a dazzling presence in JCVH.
No lie -- I own this DVD, and it ROCKS! Forget "Dogma", forget "Rocky Horror", forget all that crap! This one's even better than "Zoltan, Hound of Dracula"!!! I'd love to see a sequel.
I have the (dis)honor of owning the DVD.... it has gotten me banned from bringing movies to parties ever again. So, enjoy, but beware with who you share the prize with...
"It's okay, Rabbi, I'm on your side!"
This movie is incredible... it's so BAD and so GOOD at the same time, words can't even begin to describe it... oh my god, the fighting sequences... specially the one of the jazz club... the horrible acting, the sound effects, santos... it became an instant classic in my Crappy movie collection :)
That Ian Driscoll is a real good writer. He should do that for a living.
o my god, this movie kick ass hauahuhau holy s**t hehehe congratulations man, this is so funny, i loved it
hugs from Brasil
What a movie!
It has everything, a good christ needs!
I can't wait till the movie comes to Germany! :)
I havn't seen this film but I'll get around to it alright... I'm a devout Catholic myself, of course I couldn't say until I see this film weather it is done with any reverance or none - the idea of a vampire slaying Saviour isn't nessesarily blasphemous... Isn't He the Original vampire slayer anyway? I've a feeling I'd be disappointed though..
I agree with JJ - anyone who wants the Truth should check the Bible... It's a good long read, but altogether Illuminating.
PEACE
It had been a dry day at the DVD store when I was taken aback by the audacity of this title. It just slapped me across the face and said "BUY ME!"
I love bad movies and this one is a keeper. I've seen it too many times to be considered sane. And it made for a grand evening's entertainment as an entry into my "It Came From the Late Late Show" RPG lineup.
El Santo (not El Santos) is dead since 1983. However, his son 'El hijo de el santo' (the son of El Santo) is a very famous mexican wrestler.
I belive the santo here is none of them, it must be a guy with the silver mask.
For those who love crappy movies, get it. It's one of the best out there. Come on... using a crutch to stake a vampire is great! Even a tooth pick that look like it didn't even pierce skin!
As for those who go for movies that has great everything, don't bother touching this.
I tell you what; I just started doing NetFlix a bit over a month ago, and it is a fantastic way to see a whole lot of movies from this list! JCVH was one that my boyfriend and I wanted to check out, and we weren't disappointed! Campiness is fantastic throughout! Loved the fight scenes and some of the quotes, especially towards the end when Jesus says stuff like, "I'm EVERYWHERE!" and "And on the 7th day, God rested." (or something like that!) Also loved the narrator; he totally rocked and I laughed every time he was on!
Had a question--I dug the techo-style song during the athiest fight. Was wondering who did that and if it's available anywhere? Also is there a movie soundtrack? Just curious, but definitely a fabulous funny movie! NetFlix is great for trying out movies that I may want to purchase, and JCVH is going to be one of them!
I have actually seen this full movie, it was on IFC (Independant Film Channel)... Its definately a really bad movie, but none-the-less, if i find it anywhere, I will be sure to buy it- just to say that I have this movie.
God yes. This movie is god.
Now, who here has seen the film Kung Fu Jesus? If you want further information on THAT upcoming film, I suggest you contact me!
...Just another poke at Christianity--what else is new?
If someone wants the real Truth about Christianity, they can search for it in the Bible--not in some movie that purposefully, makes Jesus look bad.
I am looking for anyone who has the music soundtrack for jesus christ vampire hunter. I have the dvd but want the cd. Very hard to find. Mail me if you have it. The movie rocks!!!
Uh...did not read all the comments, but I think that the webmaster would like a small detail: the yellow haired priest with sunglasses getting killed at the beach with father Alban is "father Avellino".
This movie is simply great!
This is a great movie, the story was good and the fight sequences made me feel like i was watching a movie of Santo: El Enmascarado de Plata (I'am from Mexico) and for those who belive that this movie is meant to make Jesus look bad they have to see it to the end because at the end Jesus have a very truthfull line "Don't follow me, follow my teachings" oh and if someone knows where i can get the Harry Knuckles and the treasure of the Aztec Mummy movie please send me an e-mail
omg i loved that movie! it wasn't bad! it was halarious though. i didnt under stand the wrestler but i like his line "make sure you get my good side, or you'ill get on my bad side"
I love this movie
...He came from heaven/Two stakes in his hand...
lol
Maybe the best film after "Life of Brian". Yes I'm an atheist (I hope that Jesus doesn't kick the crap out of me) but JCVS isn't really all that blasphemous. Yes Jesus does kung-fu, yes God talks to Jesus through a bowl of ice cream, yes Mary does say that God loves lesbians etc...but... Some messages in the film are really good: "Don't follow me, follow my teachings" and "There is nothing devious in love" are truly great phrases. That said this film is ultra-cool, and believe me, if Jesus was like the one in this movie, I'm going to become a cristian!
It was your review of this movie that inspired me to rent it (and watch it with two friends and a sister), and we all loved it immensely (albeit with a few reservations, which keep it from being One of the Greatest [on the x-axis, where x equals entertainment derived] Movies of All Time). Thank you very much.
I confess to being puzzled by some of the comments: nobody watches a movie such as this for the Truth about anything (at least, I devoutly hope not), but rather for fun, entertainment, and theology bent as far as it can be without actively being insulted. (Some people also watch for insulted theology, but that isn't really my thing.) In addition, I didn't find the movie blasphemous so much as irreverent; the most questionable part might be that Christ was ridiculously underpowered for most of the movie, and I presume that was meant to give the population of Toronto every chance to get up off their butts and help save their own city from the vampires (and also because a movie that didn't would go as follows:
Vampires: Grraaagh...!
Christ: Be healed!
Vampires: *fall over as they turn back into living, breathing humans*
Audience: *snores* )
although it would have been nice if there'd been a line or two of dialogue that fully established this, perhaps in the cherries jubilee scene. (I also confess to being far too amused by the idea that, when apostles fail, it's time to call in El Santo or the nearest compatible thereof.)
But when it comes down to it, the plot remains the perfectly orthodox "the Son of Man comes to Earth, makes sure to look like any ordinary slob, gets attention with eye-catching stunts, specifically ministers to a group often perceived as outcast by God as well as man, and witnesses to/preaches love, understanding, and not murdering people for your own vanity," albeit festooned with vampires, luchadores, hot women, nonhot women inexplicably presented as hot, a ton of jokes from a nonhostile standpoint, and modern-day Toronto. I would certainly recommend this for viewing and discussion by the teen education class of any sufficiently irreverence-tolerant church, including that of my own.
I am a proud owner of this movie. I love it!
I must say... one thing perplexes me (I realize the movie isn't to be taken seriously, but this little thing bothers me).
When the vampires are "cured"... why do they take on the personalities of the lesbians whose skin they are wearing instead of their own pre-vampire personalities?
Or were they lesbians (and a bi) prior to being infected with vampirism by coincidence?
It seems that the list of things learned should be that the soul is carried through the skin...
My friend, my little brother and i just finished this movie and let me say that this movie is the reason people commit suicide. I feel like i just took a sledgehammer to the nuts while getting a titty twister from a cordless drill. But this was just a warm up for us. Next we have to get through Manos: Hands of Fate.
It wasn't that the vampires couldn't swim; Father Alban had blessed the lake, so they succumbed to holy water. Don't worry, I missed this on my first viewing, too.
JCVH is a well-written, thoughtful, and definitely not irreverant. Jesus saves the community, after all. Great soundtrack, too.
Looks like a film that could be good because it is so bad.
Comment from JJ really disturbs me here.
Yes, the truth of Christianity is in the bible and do you know what, that book just makes Christianity look intolerant, nasty, absolutist and against nature. Authoritarian, exploitative religions like Christianity and Islam disturb me because of what is written in their respective books, their influence and the actions of their followers. Jesus, a fine example of a proper human being, but then the bible goes on to be against many things which we now know are perfectly natural. As a Humanist I know the affect Christianity in its true form can have and I fight for a fair secular society. So listen to that, JJ.
I dig everything about it, the acting, the sets, the lines, the lesbians (imagine that.. ), the song and dance routine.. god in a bowl of cherries (i was hoping for french toast, but you can't have everything) and Mary Magnum.. oh holy crap, Mary Magnum..
Just an absolute winner in my book.. Sadly I haven't been so successful proselytizing to my friends, but I feel I may convert them to fans yet..
It occurred to me that if this had been made in the age of YouTube, it would probably have been posted there as a 20 minute short rather than a feature film. At that length it would have been just about perfect. There are some laughs here, but in my book not enough to fill up 90 minutes.
As this is a Caadian film, permit me to quote a favourite Canadian, Dan Akroyd (playing his charachter, Leonard Pinth-Garnell): "Well. That wasn't very good, was it?" :lookingup: