We finally got around to viewing Frankenfish and Shark Attack 3 --
After that YouTube Posting re. the not-so-special effects of Shark Attack 3, I absolutely had to see if the entire film was up to that edifying standard -- Oh, Holy Moses, it most certainly is!!:
Shots onboard a "speeding" boat make it absolutely clear that the boat is sitting still in the water.
Stock Great White shark footage = Prehistoric Megalodon monster!!
Stock fishing footage of marlin fishing.
ALL closeups of shark/eaten marlin, etc., VERY obvious/poorly made plastic fakes!!
More gratuitous breast shots than you can . . . well, you get the idea.
Plot/story the usual JAWS remake, but with fewer extras, and a really dumb side-plot about the Megalodons being drawn to electricity that doesn't even obey its own internal logic.
RANDOM ACTS OF SPUTTERING ANGER!! Actors suddenly go into towering rages for really no reason at all -- wonderful to watch --
Bad dubbing over the Russian actors/actresses, but even the actors who speak English act as if they're dubbing themselves, which they very well may be. One scene with an English speaking actor has him making enough glottal noises and grunts while trying to "control" a minature electric submarine that you think he's passing something very painful.
Really, you could go through this one almost frame-by-frame & find something amusing in it -- VERY bad & VERY recommended!!
Frankenfish:
Based on the title and the box artwork, I was expecting something a lot more awful. Actors who are actually able to act & given good direction, as well as some very nice composition shots of the swamps, etc. Still, there are some giggle-factors: A smoking pipe does a now-you-see-it/now-you-don't during a scene. How the hell are they getting their electricity if they're all the way out in the back of Nowhere, as they keep emphasizing? Batteries? Their own secret generator(s)? Shh! Just watch it --
Two VERY Random Gratuitous Breast Scenes. If you want a definitive example of what constitutes a Random Gratuitous Breast Shot, this is your movie -- there is absolutely no reason for these scenes other than to showcase said aspect of feminine physique.
Despite the "Jurassic Park" ripoffs, especially the ending, I found it to be highly enjoyable. But who knew it got so COLD down in the Lousiana Bayous? In some scenes, the actors' breath is fogging so much, they sometimes obscure the other actor in the scene.
At some point during filming, a rewrite must've occurred, as the bad guys very definitely say at one point that there were only 2 monster fish, but are saying just as confidently toward the end that there are 3. Shhhh!! What did I say about just watching it?!?
Anyway, has some genuine tension & some good action. The CGI is handled well for the monster fish, and the "Most Dangerous Game" tack-on isn't as annoying as it could've been. All in all, not bad.
peter johnson/denny crane
Peter, I have to agree that Frankenfish isn't nearly as stupid as the title implies. The biggest scene for me was wondering who the obviously-going-to-explode-at-anytime-now propane tank was gonna take out. I also liked what happened to the annoying-guy-who-would-have-normally- been-chomped-earlier in the movie at the end.
I caught some of Frankenfish on Sci-Fi one time not too long ago. Not quite as bad as I was expecting and some of the gore stuff was decent.
Something I don't think a lot of people get when they sneer at the title FRANKENFISH is that the term "Frankenfish" is a genuine nickname that's been given to the Snakehead fish over the years. Still a hell of a better title than "BAYOU", which is what the movie would have been called if they hadn't reverted the title back to FRANKENFISH.
I gotta say I kind of liked Frankenfish. But man, that rap song in the end credits was annoying.
Oh, yes, I do confess that I did turn off the sound for the hideous rap song ending --
It didn't fit the film at all -- much like MC Hammer's finish for "The Addams Family 2" or "Addams Family Values" --
. . . whatever . . .
Rap, as such, is sort of still in the cultural low levels that Jazz once inhabited -- Despite what folk say, Jazz itself encompassed a lot of very poor musicians back in the day/1920s -- It took time for the true rep's., like Louis Armstrong, to come to the fore --
I still can't listen to Rap right now, but it doesn't mean that very soon now -- in the next 10 years, say -- Rap won't have a sort of classical format that gives over to a listenability --
Yours in Giant Killer Fish
peter j./denny c.
One plot hole I noticed in Frankenfish - those houseboats were all anchored right against the shore. When the fish were attacking, why didn't the people just get on dry land?
Yes! Why not jump onto land?? They didn't establish that the land part of the swamp was especially dangerous or whatnot, AND I'd still like to know where the electricity comes from --
But still, a "good" movie, as opposed to Shark Attack 3 --
Anyone out there see Shark Attack 1 or Shark Attack 2? Are these films as bad as 3, or is that one the nadir of it all??
peter johnson/denny crane
:smile: Hi Peter.
Not only have I seen and suffered through Shark Attack 1 and Shark Attack 2, I actually know the people who made these "Jaws" and "Deep Blue Sea" rip-offs and I have worked with some of the crews on various projects since. NuImage (or NuWorld Services as they were known in South Africa) had to eventually get the hell out of SA because they either paid their crews and actors little or not at all. They managed to sneak back in a year or so ago and make Steven Seagal's Mercenary For Justice in Cape Town.
Incidentally, Shark Attack 3 vos made in Russia and is known here as Jurassic Shark. :buggedout:
Shark Attack 1 and 2 aren't as spectacularly bad as 3, it truly is the nadir. I always thought the first two were perfectly adequate low-budget shark movies, though most people seem to have a much more negative opinion of them. I vaguely remember there being an MST3K version of one of them if you're looking for a laugh.
While I like the idea of MST3K, I'm not what you call a real fan of theirs, only having seen a couple of them --
In the case of EEGAH!, I thought that the film itself was funnier than what they were saying about it, and in a few instances, the 'bots talked right over dialogue that was more laughworthy than what they came up with. And then they didn't even notice the burlap peeling off the "cave" walls, which I found hysterical.
Maybe not one of their better efforts, but that sort of put me off seeking out further MST3K --
Now, The LA Connection used to do a show on USA Network wherein they substituded their own voices for characters onscreen, and was only a half-hour long. That was just about perfect.
Trevor:
Yeah, it's a crapshoot dealing with low-budget production companies. I'm still owed a bundle for "Kill Line", which changed ownership so many times, nobody seems to know who has it now. I know I'll never see my money from it.
I guess I'll skip Shark 1 & 2, then, as I was really looking for something as howlingly awful as 3 -- Thanks for the info.!
peter johnson/denny crane :hot:
Shark Attack 4 got retitled Shark Zone way early in it's concept, so it is like an unofficial sequel. There is also the movie Raging Sharks, which will be the only shark movie you see with aliens. It also sucks. Shark Attack 3 is the most awesome terrible shark movie ever.
Yo, PJ! Good one.
This does lend its self to merciless riffing.
Avoiding fish puns...not doable!
I finally watched "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon" last night (Garrett likes to be up at night; I'm getting at least two per night done) and wow is it ever crazily bad.
**SPOILERS FOLLOW**
Once the huge mama shark shows up, ala "Gorgo," they use that real great white footage, with the raft/boat/person superimposed and shrunk so it looks like the real shark is swallowing them. I'd seen a YouTube bit somebody posted, but you have to see that in person. Peter really does not do the "speeding boat - but film the actors sitting still" scenes justice. You see a boat moving at a medium pace, then cut to the actors standing on an obviously not moving boat.
Lessons Learned:
Sharks are known to grunt just before they attack.
Grenades look just like the little bombs in "Super Mario Bros."
Fiber Optic cable causes electronic interference.
Lobsters are naturally red in color.
If you are on a boat that is not in danger of sinking or blowing up, jumping overboard is not the best thing to do.
The Maritime Message Board uses Font: Arial; Size: 200 pixels.
Oh, and how about the hero's pickup line? That came out of left field and I laughed out loud.
This was why it's my candidate for the "Dumbest Movie Seen This Year" post -- I didn't think it should only be limited to movies MADE this year -- You have to go pretty far out into Dumbstadt to equal this thing.
Yeah, every scene holds a new treasure -- Show it to lots of Marines --
* * *
And, oh, Andrew: Your copy of "Still Water" is in the post, speaking of "water danger" --
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Now, how 'bout we go back to my place, and I bring your wiring up to spec?
peter shark/denny megawhat?
What a life-changing double feature. I love killer fish movies more than almost anything. I confess I have not gotten around yet to SA3 because I haven't got all the feeling back in my legs yet from the first two. But Frankenfish --! Ye Gods!