Time for another group effort. This time, the story will only be one sentence long...but a really long sentence. Each post can be as long as the person posting wants it to be, but you have to continue where the previous post left off. Example:
Post 1:
The girl went to the drug store and got attacked by a bunch of aliens on motorcycles while ninjas stole her secret formula, but...
Post 2:
...she had magic powers and was able to summon bruce campbell who used the book of the dead to open a portal to hell but then the devil came out and shat all over the ground and maggots crawled out and ate...
Post 3: ...a frozen pizza that was covered in asphalt and lemon juice that had turned sour and made the maggots sick, so they left the pizza behind and went to get office jobs in chicago, where...
All right, so let's make this a really cool story.
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THE ATTACK OF BROADZILLA
By Badmovies.org
So I was walking down the street one day when I came upon a really ugly lady who was complaining that rats were eating up her garden and roaches were crawling through her panties, and I told her she might as well kill herself from the embarrassment but then the national guard came and told us that a 50 foot Paris Hilton had escaped from jail and was spilling eyeliner and Red Bull all over the city and the world was about to be destroyed and I knew I had to do something so I tried to morph into the green ranger but my powers were weak so I had to run down to the supermarket and buy some vitamin water and sushi but the place was closed so I...
over to the nearest hardware store and bought a chainsaw and hockey mask and then went over to the park where I saw some kids flying kites that looked just like . . .
mutton vindaloo monster that ate pizza but I didn't like them so I used my mega kick attack that ...
merely brought forth a giant elephant seal, who proclaimed "I has a. . ."
...pain in my ass, and I aint got no ass," and flopped away to star in a disney movie while ninja mashochists arrived and chopped off the head of the seal and used it to write a threatening message on a nearby wall about...
...They would bludgeon me to death with a tuning fork, so I grabbed my Fish and...
. . . I ate it, with a bit of lemon jucie, not tartar sauce, as that overpowers the taste, but lemon juice, which enhances the natural flavor of the Fish.
[HEY!!! You used a period! Now it's not a ONE SENTENCE story!)
Meanwhile, the 50 foot Paris Hilton was spotted cuddling a chihuahua the size of a Volkswagen until Hannibal Lecter showed up and . . .
Grabbed the nearest blunt object(bowling pin) and screamed like a mad kamikaze as he smacked it up and down on paris's head...
which first imploded, and then exploded and after doing that ten times, it turned into a black hole that consumed the...
Californian seacoast which endured one earthquake too many thus causing the survivors of the destruction to endure a harsh post apocalyptic dictatorship under the self proclaimed Emperor who happened to be the one and the only...
Leonardo De Caprio, who subsequently adopted the title "Leonardo the great" and issued a decree ordering the immediate confiscation and destruction of . . . .
.................the South African zombie Trevor, who is at this exact moment, cowering in fear from the weird cold weather and upon hearing of his imminent demise by the actor who played a Rhodesian mercenary, Trevor runs screaming into the arms of....................
Rosie O'Donnell (sorry Trevor, no Charlize Theron for you) who mistook him for a twinkie and promptly ate him, but he was able to saw his way out from her stomach and then. . .
he found himself smothered in 400 lbs of mutated lard from Rosie's body and as he slowly started to sink into the dark depths of her human fat, he exclaimed for everyone the now famous battle cry...
..."SOYLENT GREEN IS ROSIE O'DONNELL!", which cause Uwe Boll, who just happened to be...
. . . unicycling by, to drop the nitroglycerin jars he was juggling and they exploded causing . . .
The mutated lard to recoil in horrified ecstasy releasing Trevor from a gruesome fate. Meanwhile across town in an abandoned warehouse...
the sinister Professor Smith took his Tokay gecko, Sneferu, and mutated it to giant size, then sent Sneffy to Area 51 to sieze the alien weapons cache so he could . . .
(inside joke)
break into the giant cookie jar that was filled, not with cookies, but with . . .
fried bull testicles which prompted him to vomit gallons of stomach acid which slowly burned away his face leaving him a disfigured creature which the local children named...
Menard, which caused him to take up. . .
Sorry Menard, but I couldn't resist
...the piccolo, which unfortunately did not prevent...
. . . Professor Smith from getting sucked into his own favorite computer game, and grabbing Dagoth Ur in a headlock and forcing him to recite . . .
all the words to REM's Its The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) correctly but the Professor only gets halfway through before a window breaks and who else should arrive to rescue him but...
A horde of zombies who wanted his brain becuase it was a delicacy but in the nick of time...
....Wonder Woman(aka Lynda Carter),came jiggling along to the rescue,with the Devil Hound of Hitler on a leash,who hadn't eaten in a month of Sundays...
...and the last time the dog had eaten, it was all Hormel chili and leftover sushi from the previous Sunday which caused the animal no small amount of distress and had put the Bionic Woman into a bad mood hours ago so she grabbed zombies by their arms, legs, and even heads and started tossing them across the East River as the dog yapped at the zombies and howled with serious gas pain...
:bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
as everyone marveled at the hot dog eating contest between Chestnut and Kobiyashi that was declared a tie when Godzilla came by and. . .
furthered the laughable plot by eating every hot dog in the competition becoming new world champion and...
unfortunately those hot dogs had to end up in Godzilla's massive colon which until this point had been plagued with gigantic hemorrhoids and before you know it something peaked which brought fear to the villagers and that would be...
...two hundred feet of enraged, radioactive tapeworm that crashed through the streets as it was released from its ages-old prison inside of the mighty lizard and began to crawl towards the meat packing plant where a schoolbus full of children were being given a tour of the slaughter rooms and processing areas by a teacher they all referred to (behind his back) as "Mr. Toad" and it was that very same teacher who looked up and saw the tapeworm as it loomed over the plant, causing him to scream out, "My word, it's time for action" as he began to unbutton his shirt and then...
an Alien baby burst through his stomach and immediately devoured the tapeworm then became a fifty foot tall Alien and then turned toward the children, with his mouth opening wide. . .
And started to morph into micheal jackson, but Captain...
Ahab's ghost came up from nearby murky waters to confront Michael Jackson mainly because his lust for hunting giant pale scary looking things didn't die with his mortal body which led to the giant Michael Jackson to moonwalk for 50 miles until he crashed into a...
....alive volcano,which covered him in molten magma,turning him into a Jack Kirby type lava monster ,spitting fire and babbling comic book type lines like "I AM MAGMOO! :hot: Bow puny humans,fear me,for I have a no mercy,almighty power,and endless lust for the distruction of your worthless species!" as it plows it's way toward-
Tokyo, but Mothra and Frankenstein's monster happened by and they defeated Magmoo and threw it . . .
Into the giant fire pits at Gibraltar everyone rejoiced but suddenly...
...Ilsa the wicked warden appeared, and used her satanic d-cups of evil to torture and enslave humanity, forcing all of earth's virginal females to appear in a pornographic video with Glenn Quagmire, when all of a sudden...
The Evil Monkey that lives in Chris Griffin's closet arrives and with one menacing point of the finger makes Quagmire shudden in fear but meanwhile over in a better part of Rhode Island...
...a cadre of screaming nuns charged Ilsa, intent on stopping the unstoppable Nazi female and the Mother Superior drew her sword and attacked the warden, screaming out war cries like "Pleasure is sin" (the nuns are Roman Catholic) and "If pleasure is a sin, I don't even know what to say about the things that you do, Ilsa" but Ilsa merely shrugged and met the Mother Superior's charge with her riding crop, telling the nun "Ze girls vrill be girls" and the Mother Superior struck a might blow against Ilsa, casting her off the glorious State of Rhode Island and into the Atlantic Ocean and causing all the nuns to dance with joy in the streets of Providence, much to the detriment of fruit cart vendors and...
the Catholic school girls and their mothers who were horrified to discover that the nuns could actually dance, so they formed a political action committee, wrote their congressmen and senators and generally raised such a fuss that the president had to step in and he ordered the...
#5 combo meal at Burger King because one shouldn't make global decisions on an empty stomach but quickly he realized what he was eating was not exactly french fries, rather they were a huge heaping greasy pile of...
Gakh worms from the Klingon homeworld, but before he could finish them the giant, mutated Tokay Gecko Sneferu showed up and began devouring them - but before he could wipe his mouth the ground began shaking and . . .