(http://www.coolcinematrash.com/images/movies/starcrash/sc2.jpg)
All woman are required to wear a protective suit around The Hoff to repell his overabundance of manliness.
Freshness guaranteed!
This suit is not only used in battle. C'mere, Hoff.
No one knew this, but the original version of Star Wars was originally funded by the Hefty Bag company.
Hoff: "I was promised a light saber. I mean, this is a caulking gun for chrissakes."
Director: "People will think these are cooler than light sabers. Trust me on this Hoff."
(http://www.coolcinematrash.com/images/movies/starcrash/sc2.jpg)
Hasslehoff is so into safe sex he requires all females to wear a body condom around him at all times!
(http://www.coolcinematrash.com/images/movies/starcrash/sc2.jpg)
If you need a B-Movie babe, be sure to visit The Hoff's B-Movie Babe Emporium.
Always sealed for freshness and delivered right to your door.
(http://www.coolcinematrash.com/images/movies/starcrash/sc2.jpg)
Chastity belts -- of the future!!
Quote from: nshumate on December 26, 2007, 10:04:15 AM
(http://www.coolcinematrash.com/images/movies/starcrash/sc2.jpg)
Chastity belts -- of the future!!
Nathan you line thief! D'oh!
When the prop guy ran out od lazer rifles, the Hoff brought his own stock of hair curlers, and saved the shoot.
(http://www.coolcinematrash.com/images/movies/starcrash/sc2.jpg)
"We want to become dairy farmers. So, I guess that all we have to do is find a cow."
(http://www.coolcinematrash.com/images/movies/starcrash/sc2.jpg)
"So there I was, totally nude in a back alley. I didn't know what I was going to do. But then
I saw this homeless guy and a cheap hooker lying there passed out in a cardboard box..."
Just because Christmas is over doesn'tmean you can't have a gift wrapped Caroline Munro for birthdays, Valentine's Day, anniversaries, and other special occasions especially delivered to your door by an armed and fabulous escort.
Hoff has a suit like Caroline's for those times when he gets the urge for a burger.
In an alternate universe, a young Meat Loaf and poo-covered Christie Brinkley team up to save the universe by fixing cracks in the tiles.
Hoff: *thinking* Little does she know, that is a dehydration suit! I will have delicious people jerky in a matter of hours!
"Hey baby, I've still got some connections on AMERICA'S GOT TALENT. What do you think of that?"
Quote from: Jack on December 24, 2007, 11:53:51 AM
(http://www.coolcinematrash.com/images/movies/starcrash/sc2.jpg)
"Ok, does this space suit makes me look fat?"
"No, Hasslehoff the lipstick actually makes you look gay, but you dont look fat in that space suit."
I honestly can't believe any healthy heterosexual male, or a lot of healthy females, can look at this pic and even see hasslehoff.
(http://www.coolcinematrash.com/images/movies/starcrash/sc2.jpg)
DAMN, costumes today just really SUCK! We have THIS and a SEXY BIG BIRD* costume
* yes, these are real, unfortunately......