(http://www.geocities.com/darksider66/harrysurprised.jpg)
"Dudes check this out! You can totally see Hagrid practicing inter-magical creature love from up here."
Little did Harry know that his fatal attraction girlfriend Lydia (lower right) had arrived from the dentist...sporting her new braces. He would be stricken and cut down in the prime of his life. No magic could save him. And his friends would forever refer to Lydia as the "Black&Decker Pecker Wrecker."
"Whoa, Ms Rowling, take it off!"
Harry and the gang find out just why "Every sperm is sacred."
Black&Decker Pecker Wrecker....hwo do you come up with them?
Dumbledore's Stripper classes were always mandatory for everyone at Hogwarts.
(http://www.geocities.com/darksider66/harrysurprised.jpg)
"That doesn't look like it should fit."
" ..."
"Holy f***!"
"What? Harry, why are you looking at the dude? Harry!"
(http://www.geocities.com/darksider66/harrysurprised.jpg)
Wow, I didn't realize that Ms. Rowling was so good at pole dancing!
The column wouldn't admit it at the time, but for that one shining moment he was popular, and got to hang out with all the cool kids.
Years later, after all had abandoned him, the column decided to end it all and proceeded to collapse, never realising he was the single most important load bearing column of them all.
As the building destroyed itself around him, column's heart flashed in glee that he was important after all.
300 dead, 49 injured, 1 sorting hat flattened.
(http://www.geocities.com/darksider66/harrysurprised.jpg)
"Give him another Spinning Flower Kick, Cho!"
Daniel Radcliffe invited all his friends to have jolly good laugh at future acting prospects...