Wow. I am still pretty shaken up . . .
I was driving home from my Mom and Dad's yesterday after spending a day on the lake. I was zipping up State Highway 34 at about 65 MPH when a Chevy Truck with its emergency flashers on blew past me like I was standing still. As it shot out of sight, I saw something white bounce out of the back and land in the road. It was far enough ahead that I had time to slow down. As I drew closer, I saw the object was a white styrofoam mini-cooler with the lid duct-taped on. It had come to rest in the middle of the road, so I decided to move it so no one would hit it . . . and I'll admit I was a little bit curious as to what they'd lost.
When I picked it up, I saw that one corner was broken open from impact, and cold water was leaking out . . . along with some red fluid. At that point I was VERY curious, so I took my pocket knife and cut the duct tape off. Inside the cooler was some ice with a FRESHLY SEVERED HUMAN TOE on top!!! My hands were shaking and I felt like vomiting, but I realized what must have happened - someone was racing to the Greenville hospital to get their toe sewed back on, and the toe, which they had on ice, had somehow fallen out of their truck as they sped up the road!! I called the hospital on my cell and explained the situation. They didn't seem surprised . . . they may have had the person who was missing the toe on another line, for all I know. But I asked them: "What should I do? I can have the toe there in just a few minutes if you want me to bring it in!" But the RN on the other end said for me to stay where I was and be patient . . . .
they had already called a toe truck!!!! :teddyr: :tongueout:
Oh come on!! Silly punchline!! :-D
Quote from: indianasmith on August 17, 2008, 10:23:30 PM
Wow. I am still pretty shaken up . . .
I was driving home from my Mom and Dad's yesterday after spending a day on the lake. I was zipping up State Highway 34 at about 65 MPH when a Chevy Truck with its emergency flashers on blew past me like I was standing still. As it shot out of sight, I saw something white bounce out of the back and land in the road. It was far enough ahead that I had time to slow down. As I drew closer, I saw the object was a white styrofoam mini-cooler with the lid duct-taped on. It had come to rest in the middle of the road, so I decided to move it so no one would hit it . . . and I'll admit I was a little bit curious as to what they'd lost.
When I picked it up, I saw that one corner was broken open from impact, and cold water was leaking out . . . along with some red fluid. At that point I was VERY curious, so I took my pocket knife and cut the duct tape off. Inside the cooler was some ice with a FRESHLY SEVERED HUMAN TOE on top!!! My hands were shaking and I felt like vomiting, but I realized what must have happened - someone was racing to the Greenville hospital to get their toe sewed back on, and the toe, which they had on ice, had somehow fallen out of their truck as they sped up the road!! I called the hospital on my cell and explained the situation. They didn't seem surprised . . . they may have had the person who was missing the toe on another line, for all I know. But I asked them: "What should I do? I can have the toe there in just a few minutes if you want me to bring it in!" But the RN on the other end said for me to stay where I was and be patient . . . .
they had already called a toe truck!!!! :teddyr: :tongueout:
(http://5g8.net/free_smiley_generator/links/277534001219030752.gif) (http://5g8.net/)
(http://5g8.net/smileys/finger-flip.gif) (http://5g8.net)
(http://5g8.net/smileys/wave-finger.gif) (http://5g8,net)
(http://5g8.net/smileys/mooning.gif) (http://5g8.net)
Pardon me, but I'm running out of appropriate responses. (http://5g8.net/smileys/tongue-047.gif) (http://5g8.net)
Coming from you, Menard, I will take all those smilies as the ultimate compliment!!! :teddyr:
Quote from: indianasmith on August 17, 2008, 10:23:30 PM
Wow. I am still pretty shaken up . . .
I was driving home from my Mom and Dad's yesterday after spending a day on the lake. I was zipping up State Highway 34 at about 65 MPH when a Chevy Truck with its emergency flashers on blew past me like I was standing still. As it shot out of sight, I saw something white bounce out of the back and land in the road. It was far enough ahead that I had time to slow down. As I drew closer, I saw the object was a white styrofoam mini-cooler with the lid duct-taped on. It had come to rest in the middle of the road, so I decided to move it so no one would hit it . . . and I'll admit I was a little bit curious as to what they'd lost.
When I picked it up, I saw that one corner was broken open from impact, and cold water was leaking out . . . along with some red fluid. At that point I was VERY curious, so I took my pocket knife and cut the duct tape off. Inside the cooler was some ice with a FRESHLY SEVERED HUMAN TOE on top!!! My hands were shaking and I felt like vomiting, but I realized what must have happened - someone was racing to the Greenville hospital to get their toe sewed back on, and the toe, which they had on ice, had somehow fallen out of their truck as they sped up the road!! I called the hospital on my cell and explained the situation. They didn't seem surprised . . . they may have had the person who was missing the toe on another line, for all I know. But I asked them: "What should I do? I can have the toe there in just a few minutes if you want me to bring it in!" But the RN on the other end said for me to stay where I was and be patient . . . .
they had already called a toe truck!!!! :teddyr: :tongueout:
:teddyr: :bouncegiggle: :teddyr: :bouncegiggle:
Ya had me for a minute there.... :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
Real punny .... :lookingup:
A similar experience happened to me once in a drug store. Up the street a coffin rolled out of a hearse and down a hill. It ended up smashing through the front window right when I was asking the pharmacist "What can I take to get rid of this coughin'". :teddyr:
Quote from: The DarkSider on August 18, 2008, 07:05:12 AM
A similar experience happened to me once in a drug store. Up the street a coffin rolled out of a hearse and down a hill. It ended up smashing through the front window right when I was asking the pharmacist "What can I take to get rid of this coughin'". :teddyr:
:bouncegiggle: :teddyr: :bouncegiggle:
Well all that reminds me of something that happened to me once not too long ago.... When I hit my girlfriend...
It made me feel like such a piece of slime. We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "Your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together, and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody. My dad wanted me and my brother because he genuinely loved us. My mom wanted us just to spite my dad, she won, and my dad kinda lost it over the decades.
This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.
Basically, I cocked my fist back, and flew it straight into her nose. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose EXPLODED. I think I must of broken a bunch of cartilege or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor. She staggered backwards, hit her head hard enough on the wall to leave a dent, and slumped down.
We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into her room and locked the door. So I went to wash my hands, and while I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 weeks ago so I guess she didn't go the cops or anything. So later I went home and broke down in tears... My mom came in the room and when she heard about the story she got scared and said "you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air", I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "fresh" and had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say that this cab was rare but then I thought "Nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel Air!" I pulled up to a house for about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie "Yo homes, smell ya later!", looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my thrown as the prince of Bel Air.
Same day that this story happened to Indy I on the way home from my grandparent's lake when the car almost got hit by a fluffy pink matress that fell off the back of a pickup. That's all I got.
I had something like that happen, , I was driving and this cop was right on my tail, , and was kinda making me nervous. I turned and he just followed me,, , it was kinda distracting. So as I'm going, watching him as much as I was watching the road,, , I ran right through about a half dozen ducks crossing the road. I missed them all but one who hit the windshield and was just kinda flopping against it. I couldn't see around the darn thing and I realized it's wing was pinned under my wiper. About then the cop went to pass me JUST as I turned on the wiper to let the thing loose and my wiper flung it RIGHT INTO THE OPEN PASSENGER'S WINDOW OF THE COP'S CAR. He immediately hit the sirens, I thought by this duck flailing around inside that car, , but he jumped out and started yelling at ME. He had his ticket book out and was writing me a ticket. I asked him what he was so mad about and what he was writing the ticket for and he said "Because you flipped me the BIRD". .
Quote from: ghouck on August 19, 2008, 12:03:08 AM
...I was driving and this cop was right on my tail...
And, I'll leave it at that. (http://5g8.net/smileys/lol-065.gif) (http://5g8.net)
Quote from: Mr. Briggs Inc. on August 18, 2008, 02:47:04 PM
Well all that reminds me of something that happened to me once not too long ago.... When I hit my girlfriend...
It made me feel like such a piece of slime. We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "Your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together, and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody. My dad wanted me and my brother because he genuinely loved us. My mom wanted us just to spite my dad, she won, and my dad kinda lost it over the decades.
This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.
Basically, I cocked my fist back, and flew it straight into her nose. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose EXPLODED. I think I must of broken a bunch of cartilege or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor. She staggered backwards, hit her head hard enough on the wall to leave a dent, and slumped down.
We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into her room and locked the door. So I went to wash my hands, and while I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 weeks ago so I guess she didn't go the cops or anything. So later I went home and broke down in tears... My mom came in the room and when she heard about the story she got scared and said "you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air", I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "fresh" and had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say that this cab was rare but then I thought "Nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel Air!" I pulled up to a house for about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie "Yo homes, smell ya later!", looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my thrown as the prince of Bel Air.
Ok...now that was totally different. I am AGOG...AGOG, I tell you! :buggedout:
That left me flabberghasted,flummoxed,and...well...agog! AGOG!!!
I don't whether to laff or cry or pee my drawers. I may never recover....kinda like the Living Dead...I don't know whether to kick my dog or kiss my wife...or versa vica! :bluesad: :twirl: :question:
There's a blog for these:
http://feghoots.blogspot.com/
Today, with appropriate change of street names and location to Alhambra California, I repeated this story to our receptionist, really had her believing it. When I got to the end and mentioned the toe truck she threw a bottle of white out at me, apparently she has no sense of humor about accidental amputations.
I don't know what I did wrong with that link. Anyway, I think the name for these is "feghoots".
Did you ever hear the story about the old empty barn?
There was nothing in it!!! :bouncegiggle: