Yesterday I stopped by a friend's house. I hadn't seen him in awhile because of his work schedule but I happened to catch him at home so I swung by.
This is a friend that I've known since childhood. If you look at grade school pictures, there we are together in many of the same classes.
There's also Halloween pictures of us standing side-by-side in our costumes. (he grew up 3 blocks from me)
I was talking to him and his girlfriend and had no idea how badly their financial situation was. They both work. But my friend has half of his paycheck taken every payday for child support.
It seems that no matter how hard they try, they just barely scrape by and can't seem to get ahead.
They have two young boys...a 2 year old and a 6 month old.
I learned that they pay $475 a month for rent and that they still hadn't paid September's rent. Between the two of them, they had about $400. They had no money for gas to get back & forth to work and no money for food. I looked in their refrigerator when I got a glass of ice water and saw that there was almost nothing in it.
They were fearing that their electricity was going to be shut off and even worse, an imminent eviction notice from the landlord.
They're in pretty bad financial shape.
I asked them if they had inquired about help from Human Services but they both make just enough money that they don't qualify for any kind of aid.
On Friday I got a nice paycheck for just over a grand and, out of the blue, I offered to spot them $200 to help them out.
I mean, this guy's been a friend for a long time and I couldn't let them get evicted.
They've got young kids and they need to keep a roof over their heads.
They're not deadbeats. They work all the time and are basically good people but they've becomed bogged down. They're spinning their wheels and not moving forward.
You should've seen the look of relief on their faces when I offered them the money. They didn't want to accept the cash at first because they're not the type to borrow money or mooch from people. Like most of us, they prefer to pay on their own. But I could tell that they really needed it. They were desperate.
I would've loaned them more but I didn't want them owing me a ton of cash they'd take forever to pay back. And I need to save some money because I'm looking for a new apartment.
Plus, I've seen peoples' friendships destroyed over money matters and I didn't want that to happen.
So I saved them from being evicted...temporarily. They're still going to owe rent for October here in a few days. But at least they'll be able to get their past due rent and electric bill paid. And it made me feel good to help out a friend.
How about you?
How do you feel about loaning people money?
I can't say I've never done it but in my experience, more often than not it becomes a gift and not a loan. And the more you do this, the more likely it becomes they will eventually try and get out of paying you back or say they'll repay you or make it up to you someday which never comes or is conveniently forgotten. So I've become very wary of it.
I used to be generous to friends who needed some extra cash but always expected to be paid back. Looking back, I've loaded hundreds of dollars to people I'll never get back. Hence why I refuse to do it ever again as long as I can help it. Perhaps thats why I never turn down a free meal. I figure its some sort of loan karma paying me back. :teddyr:
"Give and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over . . . "
As long as you are able to meet your own debts and obligations, life is too short not to help those who need it. Give to others when you can, what you can, and ask nothing in return . . . and guess what? What goes around will come around!
You can't take your wealth with you. But I am a firm believer that you can send your blessings on ahead by being kind to others.
Well done.
I don't loan money ... I know going in it's charity. Regardless of how much they promise to pay back.
I have never and will never loan money to anyone. Nothing ends friendships or severs family ties more readily than money.
I have no problem loaning money. But I only loan out enough so that if I never see it again,it's not a big deal. Plus....I genrally don't loan out too much anyway,because, well...I'm usually broke!
If I do give out money, I don't expect it back. The people I hang out with are generally good people, but they manage money worse than I do. The one time I loaned a friend money, it turns out she used it to buy coke for her and her dirtbag boyfriend. She knows I would've beaten him sh!tless if I found out he got her addicted, so she said she needed it to keep her electricity on. He skipped town before I found out and I eventually told her not to worry about paying me back, but also told her I'd never loan her money again.
I'm just a kid so I don't have to worry much about financial matters. If someone needs a few bucks that I have and don't especially need, I figure not many other people would be willing to provide for them (Outside of family I don't think anyone has given me pity-money before :P), and usually take it upon myself, not asking for it back unless they say they'll refund me. I suppose if someone wanted more than $5 I would ask for it back, but it's just too much trouble to really worry about every little cent.
Basically, I loan along the same lines as RC. Indiana too, if someone really needs cash enough to ask, my family is financially secure enough for me to give to needy causes.