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Crusher: These are very deep scratches. And you have a cracked rib and a bruised spleen. I've said it before and I'll say it again Commander. You've got to knock off the rough stuff when you're on dates. I know you're in to that sort of thing, but you're not twenty anymore....
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Crusher: Now, Will, I know you love Worf but he hurts you. This can't go on.
Riker: He only does it because I'm clumsy.
The Officer's Mess on the Enterprise had a bit of a reputation....
"Ok it stopped bleeding, now don't move again. I have to get the fade right."
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These Federation regulation haircuts really hurt.
"Whoops! I think I might have erased his brain."
oh, nag, nag, nag, somebody please shot me. Phasers to set to kill, engage!
"Now that the sedative is working I can shave his head and berate him like I've always wanted to with Picard."