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Information Exchange => Movie Reviews => Submitted Reader Reviews => Topic started by: Tyler Macri on November 30, 2008, 10:54:17 PM

Title: Dont Go in the Woods... Alone!
Post by: Tyler Macri on November 30, 2008, 10:54:17 PM
  Dont Go in the Woods...Alone!  
Rated: R
* * * * * slimes
Copyright James Bryan Films 1981
Reveiw By Tyler Macri/ Gorosaurus 101


THE CHARACTERS

Peter - A man who likes to apolagize AFTER killing someone with a giant stick

Craig - The out doors man, who also likes to pull his girlfriends up into trees and leave them there.

Ingrid - Loves to make suggestions and never get them done.

Joanie - Always getting people hurt then laughing about it, she'll learn.

The Killer - A screaming cave man with a spear and beads on his head.

Leasons Learned

Never wear shorts in the woods
Dont go rock climbing in your trousers
Twigs can amke you bleed
You should always "Put in a good word" for someone who gives you free coffee
Police think that if you go missing its because of the call of the wild
Calling a killer a pencil necked geek isnt a good survival tip
Dont leave you 2 year old child by themselves while you go deeper into the woods
Run and scream when you see someone hiking
In a panicky situation its very hard to get out of your sleeping bag

Stuff to watch for  

3 minutes 22 seconds - Was that a flying twig that hit him?
9 minutes 15 seconds - Roller blading down a steep road into an obese cop; watch out!
13 minutes 10 seconds - Does he need to announce that he'll take care of it four times?
15 minutes 13 seconds - Apparently Cherry can't close the van doors, so she just looks up at the camera and acts like they are.
19 minutes 50 seconds - Do they really need to play country music every time they show a fat cop?
22 minutes 12 seconds - A guy in a blue shirt and pants looks like Bigfoot.
25 minutes 15 seconds - Where do those people playing in the river keep coming from?
26 minutes 28 seconds - WATCH OUT, FLYING BEAR TRAP!!!!!
30 minutes 42 seconds - The killer likes to stick his tongue out at people.
36 minutes 12 seconds - Trapping your girlfriend in a sleeping bag and hanging her from a tree won't score you any points.
45 minutes 32 seconds - The killer sounds a lot like a retarded guy screaming.
56 minutes 18 seconds - The killer enjoys keeping dolls in his cottage.
77 minutes 24 seconds - I knew that guy in the wheelchair should not have gone in the woods alone.
82 minutes 08 seconds - Who taught that little girl how to use an axe, she was in a box all day.

Notable quotes

Ingrid - "What you need, Peter, is for someone to carry you."

Craig - "And be careful of rabies too"
Ingrid - "How do you tell?"
Craig - "Any animal doing anything unnatural to nature."
Peter - "You mean there are little furry perverts running around doing unnatural things in these woods?"

Guy and girl making out...
Cherry - "Oh Dick, it's just not perfect"
Dick - "Oh Cherry, Cherry, you're the most perfect thing that's come into my life"
(apparently this changes everything)

Plot

Four campers go into the woods for a relaxing trip.  Little do they know there is a raving maniac with a stick on the loose.  There really isn't much of a plot, except waiting for the next idiot camper to be killed.  The killer is not provided with any background information, nor does he have any dialogue at all.

Dick (holding a gun) - "This little baby does all the talking when the peeping Toms come rolling around."





Title: Re: Dont Go in the Woods... Alone!
Post by: Gorosaurus101 on December 01, 2008, 09:42:59 PM

Again, just incase oyu didnt know i posted this but forgot to sign in :)
Title: Re: Dont Go in the Woods... Alone!
Post by: Doctor Menard on December 03, 2008, 04:37:01 AM
I'm just wondering if you enjoyed this or not.

You gave it 5 slimes suggesting that you thought it was highly enjoyable, but your entire summary consists of:

QuoteFour campers go into the woods for a relaxing trip.  Little do they know there is a raving maniac with a stick on the loose.  There really isn't much of a plot, except waiting for the next idiot camper to be killed.  The killer is not provided with any background information, nor does he have any dialogue at all.

Personally, I wouldn't even waste one skull on this movie, but I guess all movies have their fans.

Congratulations on finding enjoyment in this movie...uh...I think...did you? 
Title: Re: Dont Go in the Woods... Alone!
Post by: Gorosaurus101 on December 03, 2008, 05:23:37 PM
ya i liked it i was just trying to make it sound bad, i love bad movies, exept for crazy fat ethel 2. By the way, Dr. Maynard, im a huge zombi 2 fan and have lots of memorbilia for it