The thread for certain things we notice while going about our day to day existence.
I'll start...
Ever notice, no matter how well you try to keep the area by your computer clean, if you turn your keyboard upside down and shake it, a TON of dirt, specks, nail clippings and other junk will inevitably fall out? At least, that's been my experience.
Unless of course, you've got those plastic keyboard covers...
Ever notice when you're running in a store for milk (or anything else for that matter), theres always some old lady in front of the milk section investigating the dates when all you want to do is simply grab your gallon of skim milk and walk out.
A remark my cousin in college made to me on Thanksgiving: "Ever notice when it's 1:57 AM on Sunday morning and you're trying to get a case of beer bought before they stop selling it at 2:00 AM, you always wind up in line behind somebody paying for his groceries with pennies?"
Ever notice how no matter what you say you feel that one person in the room misconstrued it as something dirty or violent.
Like the time I said "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts". Got some weird looks there. It's a common saying for pete's sake!
Yeah, totally, like if you make a teeny little comment that the Nazis had good fashion sense, people look at you like you're a monster. Ever notice how awkward that feeling is?
Ever notice this interesting thread isn't catching on very well?
Quote from: ER on December 04, 2008, 10:05:17 AM
Ever notice this interesting thread isn't catching on very well?
Ahh.. give it time, my "random thought" thread took a bit to get going as well.
Ever notice you don't appreciate the miracle and convenience of indoor plumbing in your house until there's something wrong and you can't USE it?
Ever notice how the inside of the window on the oven door gets so dirty you can barely see through it, yet the rest of the oven interior looks almost perfectly clean?
And I agree, the Nazis did have excellent fashion sense.
Ever notice most lawyers talk really bad about other lawyers?
Ever notice that Alan Dershowitz is a complete intellectual fraud?
Ever notice a lot of infamous people have the middle name Wayne?
Ever notice that there is virtually no difference between a common garden slug and a two inch, living booger?
Ever notice that people lose all power of rational thought between the First of November and early January? Could it be related to Christmas?!
Quote from: indianasmith on December 04, 2008, 09:50:06 PM
Ever notice that there is virtually no difference between a common garden slug and a two inch, living booger?
Ha, someone reads Calvin and Hobbes! :)
Ever notice the older you get the faster time moves?
Ever notice that whatever you want in Wal-Mart, no matter how useless and unimportant, there is ALWAYS someone blocking it?
Ever notice how, when you finally leave in frustration and then come back in ten minutes, some other idiot is now blocking the item, most likely talking to the first idiot?
Or is this JUST me?
Ever notice farts are like children, you can only tolerate your own.
Ever notice how like in college playing mind games with your roommate and her friends by rating your nights out with 1 to 5 giant stars drawn on your desk calendar seems funny but looking back it's completely tacky?
Ever notice the Declaration of Independence was written with a feather?
ever notice that when you need a really,really good quality pen are they nowhere to be found,but when you need them they are everywhere
Ever notice bathroom tissue doesn't come in all those pretty pastel colors like it used to?
Ever notice how awful and unsanitary Walmart's bathrooms are?
Ever notice that the programs on TV are always rather quiet, causing you to crank the volume so you can hear what the characters are saying, but the commercials are always about five times louder?
It's like you'll be watching a show (this is especially true of dramatic shows) and it'll be like this:
Girl: So, what does this mean?
Guy: It means (pause for dramatic closeup) someone's tampered with the evidence.
(fade to black)
Announcer:
USED CAR SALE! THE TIME TO BUY IS NOW, NOW, NOW! WE'VE GOT OVER TWO THOUSAND VEHICLES GOING FOR LESS THAN FACTORY DIRECT PRICES! DEALS LIKE THIS WILL NOT LAST FOREVER, SO COME DOWN TO THE DEALERSHIP TODAY!
At this point you're scrambling to find the damn remote to turn the TV down, so you don't end up with permanent hearing loss...
ever notice the human race sucks
This thread is even funnier when read out loud in Andy Rooney's voice.
Ever notice how much Andy Rooney looks like a garden gnome?
Quote from: ER on December 07, 2008, 08:27:26 PM
Ever notice bathroom tissue doesn't come in all those pretty pastel colors like it used to?
Funny, I was having a discussion with someone about this very topic just the other day.
Not only toilet paper, but you could get paper towels and tissue in green, pink, and blue.
My mom always bought the blue stuff.
It seems kind of gross, now that I think about it.
Ever notice there's no blue food?
I mean, really blue food?
Ever notice the dumbest people talk the loudest?
- Ever notice how when you run out of smokes nobody seems to have one you can bum, but the second you quit smoking everyone has them?
Ever notice most atheists will tell you they're atheists within the first five minutes of meeting them?
Ever notice how few A-list stand-up comics are eskimos?
Ever notice y'all are slacking in your "Ever notice..." duties here? :wink:
Ever notice there's not a lot of black country singers?
I wonder if there's a reason for that... besides the obvious ones.
Ever notice most politicians who are against school vouchers tend to send THEIR kids to private schools? Man, that's ironic...
Ever notice death row inmates waste the fact that they can get anything they want for a last meal?
"Uhh, yeah, Warden, gimme some, uhhh, mac 'n cheese."
Ever notice it almost does seem like washing machines eat clothes?
Ever notice the more numerous (and heavy) the packages you have, the longer the line will be at the post office?
Ever notice for a man who has written a short story a week for sixty years, Ray Bradbury manages to remain impressively creative to this very day?
Quote from: ER on December 04, 2008, 04:44:40 PM
Ever notice most lawyers talk really bad about other lawyers?
I think in psychology that's called "projection". :)
Quote from: ER on December 10, 2008, 01:04:31 PM
Ever notice most atheists will tell you they're atheists within the first five minutes of meeting them?
Eh, , you're stretching it there. I know plenty and have never heard anyone thrust that info on others like you say. Ever see an atheist wearing a religious medallion to tell everyone what their religion is? No?, , ,can you say the same for other religions? Didn't think so. .
Ever notice how you feel bad for stealing office supplies from work, then feel even worse for buying a whole container of paperclips or rubber bands because you only need one. I just go ahead and steal one from work, and imagine I am making the world a better place by NOT throwing the other 99 paperclips or rubber bands away, which I invariably do once I get tired of them being in my way.
Quote from: ghouck on December 15, 2008, 11:26:06 PM
Eh, , you're stretching it there. I know plenty and have never heard anyone thrust that info on others like you say. Ever see an atheist wearing a religious medallion to tell everyone what their religion is? No?, , ,can you say the same for other religions? Didn't think so. .
Well, in fairness a lot of people wear "religious" medallions (crosses in particular) who probably just consider it nothing more than jewelry (or, in some cases a keepsake from someone else who owned it.)
But what "religious medallions" could an atheist wear? The Darwin fish?
QuoteEh, , you're stretching it there. I know plenty and have never heard anyone thrust that info on others like you say. Ever see an atheist wearing a religious medallion to tell everyone what their religion is? No?, , ,can you say the same for other religions? Didn't think so. .
ghouck! You forgot to say "Ever notice"!!!! now you have to go back to the beginning, like Simon Says! Oh, and send us all pizzas too. Just the rules, man, I don't make 'em... :bouncegiggle:
Nah, you're right, I was being facetious about atheists, who don't all do that, of course, but it does seem like an awful lot of them do. And theists often do too. Me, I don't understand how anyone can express a belief or disbelief in God without finishing the sentence with "at least I hope I'm right." Cause the bottom line is no matter what you believe, who really knows?
Ever notice, though, religious art is not what it used to be?
Quote from: ghouck on December 15, 2008, 11:30:12 PM
Ever notice how you feel bad for stealing office supplies from work
I do?
Oh, yeah, yeah, I feel totally bad about that! Er.. that is, if I stole stuff from the office. Which I don't, of course.
(cough, cough)
Ever notice ER changes her avatar like every two hours or so?
Ever notice how we as an American society measure cocaine in metric and marijuana in imperial? Nobody seems to measure coke by the pound.