From a Baywatch review I'm piecing together...
(http://www.geocities.com/darksider66/baywatchshattered2.jpg)
"And finally, no more singing on the Berlin Wall."
Somehow you sprained your wee-wee, and we're going to keep it in traction for a few weeks.
I know you're upset, Mr. Hasselhoff, but until your hernia's healed and you don't need this truss any more, you simply cannot run down the beach in slow motion.
Remember kids, this can happen to you if you drink and eat hamburgers.
"You daughter did say she'd do something drastic if you didn't stop drinking."
For once, the power of my hair-gel has failed to protect me...
Next time, instead of peeing on KITT find a tree or a bush or something. That way he won't throw you out via his built in ejection seat.
"No, Mr. Hasselhoff. I expect you to die!"
The day after the Germans finally figured out that Hoff's music really sucks.
"Both of them will be waiting in a jar in the lost and found. No, you'll never be able to act again."