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Other Topics => Off Topic Discussion => Topic started by: Mr. DS on January 22, 2009, 09:01:15 PM

Title: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Mr. DS on January 22, 2009, 09:01:15 PM
After President Obama took the oath of office this week, I figured it may be interesting to start a list of things you probably won't hear at inaugurations.  I'll start...

Loud Speaker Announcer:  "Everybody please rise for the singing of 'America The Beautiful' by the legendary Tay Zonday."

President:  "So in the wise words of George W. Bush..."

Annoucer For The Television Audience:  "We realize no one is going to want to watch numerous government staff walking to their seats so please enjoy this video of 'Girls Gone Wild' until the president elect is ready to take the oath." 
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Ignagurations
Post by: Allhallowsday on January 22, 2009, 09:41:46 PM
what's an "ignaguration"?  :twirl:
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Ignagurations
Post by: meQal on January 22, 2009, 09:56:01 PM
President ending their inaugural address- "So in closing, lets all get liquored up and hunt."

News Announcer covering the inaugural parade- "And coverage of this parade is brought to you by Hooters."

Finally, "Ladies and Gentlemen, here to deliver the Inaugural Prayer, Mr. Ozzy Osborne."
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inauguration
Post by: Mr. DS on January 22, 2009, 10:01:36 PM
Quote from: Allhallowsday on January 22, 2009, 09:41:46 PM
what's an "ignaguration"?  :twirl:
Its a rare condition due to a lack of using a spell checker... :tongueout:  Oh well...the word sucks to spell anyhow...
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inagurations
Post by: LilCerberus on January 22, 2009, 10:10:45 PM
"President of the United States, I've got all kinds of staff & military personnel telling me everything there is to know about everything, and I can't get any one of these egg-headed twerps to tell whether this means we're having a super-auguration, or an anti-auguration!... Say, does that Marine Corpse band there do requests? I'm kinda' in the mood for Hey Joe."
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Mr. DS on January 22, 2009, 10:14:19 PM
President:  "Let me hear you say 'ooooooowwwwww'...
Crowd:  "owwwwwww"
President:  "Let me hear you say 'yeaaaaaah'..."
Crowd: "yeaaaaaaaaah"
President:  "YEAH YEAH"
Crowd: "YEAH YEAH"
President:  "Now everbody screeeeeeeam!"
Crowd:  "Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeee!!!"
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: meQal on January 22, 2009, 10:25:47 PM
"Ladies and gentlemen, now for the swearing in of President Elect Larry Flynt."
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Mr. DS on January 22, 2009, 10:27:30 PM
"Gentlemen get your dollars ready for the lovely Roxy and Trixy.  Make sure you tip the lovey ladies up there, make sure you get yourself a personal dance from the girls leaving the stage right now."
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: LilCerberus on January 22, 2009, 10:35:42 PM
"People of Earth, your attention! I am not a role model! I am not paid to be a role model!..."

"Uh, no Mr President, being sworn in doesn't mean you need to throw in a few swear words."
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Rev. Powell on January 22, 2009, 10:39:36 PM
"Didja ever notice that the Undersecretary of State for European Affairs dances like this [President does clumsy dance], while the Underscretary of State for African Affairs dances like this [President does funky dance]?"
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Mr. DS on January 22, 2009, 10:43:41 PM
President:  "And as part of my economic plan...hold on a minute this just in.  Would the owner of a silver honda license plate 584885 please report to your car...your lights are on." 
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: meQal on January 22, 2009, 10:46:49 PM
News Announcer- "And one of the many balls that the President and First Lady will be attending tonight is the Pimps and Hos ball."
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Mr. DS on January 22, 2009, 10:49:02 PM
Quote from: meQal on January 22, 2009, 10:46:49 PM
News Announcer- "And one of the many balls that the President and First Lady will be attending tonight is the Pimps and Hos ball."
:bouncegiggle:

Along those lines...

News Announcer (in a serious tone):  "The president and his homies are in da hiz-house.  All you hatas out dere better be recognizin'."
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: sideorderofninjas on January 22, 2009, 11:33:44 PM
With Wilford Brimley as Secretary of Fiber, a more regular economy is guaranteed...
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: AndyC on January 22, 2009, 11:39:53 PM
Quote from: The DarkSider on January 22, 2009, 10:49:02 PM
News Announcer (in a serious tone):  "The president and his homies are in da hiz-house.  All you hatas out dere better be recognizin'."

I was imagining a clip of the Obamas entering the White House to the Jeffersons theme.
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: ghouck on January 22, 2009, 11:59:22 PM
FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: CheezeFlixz on January 23, 2009, 11:50:16 AM
QuoteThings You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations

A coherant sentence.
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Raffine on January 23, 2009, 02:50:17 PM
Something we DID hear many times: the word "balls".

Something you probably won't hear?

How about a reference to the Obamas' preferred sexual perversion.

Oh, wait:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neCIg0BiXbE&eurl=http://www.wwtdd.com/
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: ghouck on January 23, 2009, 03:31:33 PM
"I promise to bring copious amounts of coke and hookers to the masses"

"I will defeat Al Queda with the mighty fist of freedom and a scorching dose of venereal disease"

"I would like every citizen to know that I did not persue presidency for wealth or power, but rather for poontang and weed connections"

Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Javakoala on January 24, 2009, 12:03:18 AM
Quote from: Raffine on January 23, 2009, 02:50:17 PM
Something we DID hear many times: the word "balls".

Something you probably won't hear?

How about a reference to the Obamas' preferred sexual perversion.

Oh, wait:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neCIg0BiXbE&eurl=http://www.wwtdd.com/

Wait, wait...did she say "FISTING"?
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: ghouck on January 24, 2009, 12:18:56 AM
Quote from: Javakoala on January 24, 2009, 12:03:18 AM

Wait, wait...did she say "FISTING"?


. . . . . Yep
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Javakoala on January 24, 2009, 05:06:15 PM
Quote from: ghouck on January 24, 2009, 12:18:56 AM
Quote from: Javakoala on January 24, 2009, 12:03:18 AM

Wait, wait...did she say "FISTING"?


. . . . . Yep

I could have gone all four years without hearing that.
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: CheezeFlixz on January 24, 2009, 06:38:49 PM
That's just a mental image I really didn't need.
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Raffine on January 24, 2009, 07:20:52 PM
Let's hope they use protection:

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/514GD5BK6DL._SS500_.jpg)
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: AndyC on January 24, 2009, 11:09:40 PM
Maybe they have toys.
(http://cache.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2008/01/topsecret03ij3.jpg)
Title: Re: Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations
Post by: Susan on January 25, 2009, 01:49:14 AM
"congratulations General Zod, ruler of planet houson"