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Ernie: Bert?
Bert: Yeah, Ernie?
Ernie: I'm sorry I walked in on you like that before. I had no idea you would be busy. Next time I'll remember to knock.
"It feels weird sleeping in a separate bed, Bert."
Bert...I...I ....have to tell you the truth. There's another man. The Swedish Cheif.
Bert...I'm sorry please talk to me. I didn't mean to eat cookies in your bed again.
I went to the doctor today Bert. The results aren't back yet, but based on the symptoms, , well, , it's just that, , you should probably get checked also. I mean, it could be nothing, , but . .
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Ernie: Bert?
Bert: Yeah, Ernie?
Ernie: I'm pregnant!
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"Why do you close your eyes when we make love?!"
Really Bert, it's OK, it happens, you've been under a lot of stress, you're tired, it happens to lots of guys and it doesn't matter, I'll always love you.
'Lemme show you my bottle cap collection. C'mon it's VERY exciting.
"Bert I forgot to tell you earlier...if you ever correct me in front of Big Bird again, I'll cut your throat while you sleep. Pleasant dreams..."
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Being gay is okay, Burt. It's hard not to be gay when you go through life with some guy's hand up your butt.
Burt, I'm sorry about the rubber duckie in your rectum. I got a bit carried away.
"It's the 21st century, Bert. Can't we just have one king sized bed we can share now that we're married?"
"Burt, I don't know why I shouted out 'Kermit!' during climax, but it's nothing, really."
I woke up , you weren't there I hate that.
"Well Burt, when I can't sleep, I give Gordon a call. He's got the best ho's in the city."
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Ernie: Bert?
Bert: Yeah, Ernie?
Ernie: What's with all the yellow feathers in the bathroom?
Ernie, I have to be honest with you. I found some pictures on the computer. Pictures of you and Grover....(sob) on a date.
Ernie: "Bert, I'm sorry but I just don't know why you have to do it 'pigeon style' with me all the time."
Night
...but i must admit, I'm bi
Look, i-i'm sorry that i made you watch Monster A-go go and Disaster Movie today, but i thought it would be fun-
Bert secretly told Elmo to get his gun and shot Ernie
Bert's sleep number is a 90, Ernie's is a 5. What's your Sleep Number™?
Quote from: sprite75 on May 14, 2009, 01:03:07 AM
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Ernie: Bert, I'm sorry about tonight.. but when I saw you bending over, well.. a bottle of clorophorm and 10 minutes later you made me the happiest man alive.
Bert (still in shock): Ernie.. please.. don't talk to me now.. ugh.. (shakes violently)
Bert: Next time Ernie get the extra extra large size condoms. Those large sized ones you got just don't cut it - I feel like my dick's going to get squeezed right off every time I put one of those on!
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Ernie: Pardon me, but would you have any Grey Poupon?
Bert: But of course!
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Bert: No, Ernie, it's over. I told you, I'm not your puppet anymore, I'm noone's puppet!
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I followed you tonight Bert. You didn't go to your Mother's. You went out dancing with Statler and Waldorf....Tomorrow I'm calling a lawyer. And don't bother packing your Judy Garland records, I already gave them to Bob.
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Bert: Ernie?
Ernie: Yeah, Bert?
Bert: Where exactly do you plan on putting those two clawfoot tubs that UPS dropped off today?
Ernie: Bert?
Bert: Yeah Ernie?
Ernie: Do you like movies about gladiators?