(http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/kristine-file0268copy-1.jpg)
Jones does his farm striptease act.
He's thinking Chippendales, they're thinking "The Wicker Man"
The farmer once voted "Sexiest Man In The Soviet Union" for eight years running attempts to show that he's still got 'it'...
The cover of the DVD, "Amish gone wild."
Crazy John didn't tell his sisters until the very last minute that the reason he built the headless haystack lama was so he could ride it south across the fields, to freedom.
It didn't take the police long to notice a few telltale signs and seek out this farm's other cash crop.
Bachelorette parties in Nebraska.
"John, get down from there... and stop f**king the haybale."
Hey, look! A needled*ck in a haystack!