Hello badmoviephiles. I bet a lot of you have seen those adult movies or pornos. I'm shamed to admit I have seen them. But what I wonder is why are all these movies bad? I mean they are full of terrible actors, poorly written, poorly directed, POORLY EVERYTHING!!!
I know the reason people buy these films is for the sex. But come on, a movie should tell a good story and not cover up its shortcomings with frequent sex scenes.
I remember one particularly terrible adult film called the Witches of Breastwick. I kinda laughed at the one scene where the doctor was putting her patient under erotic hypnosis and had sex with him!
I question what the makers of these films are smoking. Just what is in the joints they are smoking? LOL!!!
But badmoviephiles, I gotta ask you. Have you ever seen an adult film that told a good story without resorting to frequent sex scenes?
Without the sex scenes, would it BE an X-rated film?
I've said it before, & I'll say it again;
There's only one reason I sat through all four hours of "La Belle Noiseusse" :twirl:
If you're talking single-x, Midnight Cowboy was a multi-Oscar winner.
I rather like (and own) Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls.
Fritz The Cat wasn't bad.
If you're talking about more hardcore stuff, then I'll admit there's not much good out there at all. Some of the more "classic" stuff like Behind The Green Door I just laugh at.
Come to think if it (no pun intended), do you mean the stuff they do over here, or the stuff they do over there?
American stuff tends to stink, & Italian stuff always leaves a little something to be desired, but the stuff that comes out of France & Japan ain't so bad.
Japanese porn? Hmmm, perhaps I will look into that :teddyr:
Many years ago I watched a few pornos, just to see what they were like. I thought maybe they'd be like a regular movie, you know, with characters and a plot. No no no. The plot was like "We all got in a van and headed to a party. But than we stopped at this house and we all had sex for an hour. The end." Now I just stick to sex comedies from the '80s if I'm in the mood for something like that.
A clockwork orange is rated X and was nominated for 4 Oscars.
Animal Instincs :wink:
Quote from: indianasmith on December 05, 2009, 10:10:31 PM
Without the sex scenes, would it BE an X-rated film?
No no no, I don't mean eliminate the sex scenes completely. I mean, it shouldn't go into sex scenes every 2 to 5 mins. The problem with most adult movies is they are poorly written. Their stories are shallow in the extreme. I've seen a few softcore adult films which try to tell a story (The Emanuelle series for instance.) Often, these movies are foreign so they end up being the victim of poor dialogue translation.
I mean, c'mon. Give me an adult film that has a deep and intriguing story.
But it's about making a skin flick, not Citizen Kane. I think most directors and actors these days aren't out to further their careers or get noticed. They just want to make porn! :smile:
X Rated Films I Recommend
TOMB OF THE WEREWOLF
It Stars Paul Naschy And Has Many gory Scenes And Many Softcore Sex Scenes
HAUNTING DESIRES
A Movie About A Strip Club Run By Vampires With Many Stripping Scenes And Softcore Sex Scenes
Huntress: Spirit of the Night
Yeah, the story (if you can call it that) is incredibly choppy, but it works visually, and the director seems to have "some" style.
Also, the music's pretty cool, with lots of guitar work channeling Santana, rather than that cheesy midi muzak.
Quote from: Jack on December 06, 2009, 08:11:17 AM
Japanese porn? Hmmm, perhaps I will look into that :teddyr:
Many years ago I watched a few pornos, just to see what they were like. I thought maybe they'd be like a regular movie, you know, with characters and a plot. No no no. The plot was like "We all got in a van and headed to a party. But than we stopped at this house and we all had sex for an hour. The end." Now I just stick to sex comedies from the '80s if I'm in the mood for something like that.
Japanese bondage porn is good for those who like intricate rope knots. Also, you may wanna check out what Japan dubbed as 'pink' films. some of these are really good and some not so good. I particularly like Flower and Snake. Although I must warn that it's not for everyone....
Quote from: Sister Grace on December 06, 2009, 07:02:16 PM
Quote from: Jack on December 06, 2009, 08:11:17 AM
Japanese porn? Hmmm, perhaps I will look into that :teddyr:
Japanese bondage porn is good for those who like intricate rope knots. Also, you may wanna check out what Japan dubbed as 'pink' films. some of these are really good and some not so good. I particularly like Flower and Snake. Although I must warn that it's not for everyone....
Actually, I was talking about hentai, but I heard somewhere that it doesn't really come from Japan anymore, it comes from Canada, kinda like American motorcycles.
THE OPENING OF MISTY BEETHOVEN was a 1970s X-rated movie that actually got some praise for trying to be a somewhat "classy" production. If you're looking for lot's of sex, you'll be disappointed. There ARE sex scenes, but there's probably more plot and dialogue than pornography.
have you tried The Image; i don't remember it being x-rated but it was very provocative.
Is there such a thing as a "Good" X-rated film?
(http://www.horreur-web.com/torso.jpg)
Yep... :)
Try Through the Looking Glass. It's a XXX from the 70's. Excellent production values throughout. This was the first real "porno" I ever saw and it ruined all subsequent pornos for me until Cafe' Flesh.
Does Baise Moi count? It's kinda like Thelma and Louise on crack with hardcore sex scenes.
Quote from: voltron on December 07, 2009, 01:33:25 PM
Does Baise Moi count? It's kinda like Thelma and Louise on crack with hardcore sex scenes.
Yeah, that one's pretty out there... :buggedout:
Has Anyone Seen Any Of The Softcore Movies From SEDUCTION CINEMA?
They Have Done A Lot Of "Porno with plot" Type Movies
Some Of The Movies They've Done Like AN EROTIC WEREWOLF IN LONDON , NIGHT OF THE GROPING DEAD , And THE SCREAMING DEAD Are Actually Pretty Good
There's also In The Realm of the Senses, which has real sex in it between the two lead actors and is supposed to be decent. I hear mixed things about Brown Bunny.
That one relatively high budget hard core porn pirates film is supposed to be amusing in a bad way.
I saw a film called Loaded. It's a hard core porn film, but it actually has a storyline and developed characters. I was curious because it's an action movie... I'd compare its "real film" qualities to a mediocre made-for-TV action film. Passably entertaining, a couple funny lines, the main bad guy was OK too. Competent action scenes. Nothing really great about it though.
But, of course, most hard core porn films are made to be center pieces for hard core porn. They just don't care about the storyline.
One thing to remember is that there is no such thing as an "X" rating. There's only G, PG, PG-13, R, and NC-17 by the MPAA. Technically ANY movie can be called "X." So there's no differentiation between X and XXX, because they don't mean anything.
(I know, this wasn't always the case, but in more modern times "X" essentially means the film was not rated by the MPAA)
The reason why the NC-17 is preferred by more "legitimate" films than the unrated X rating is that the NATO (National Association of Theater Owners) and most chain renters (like Blockbuster and Hollywood Video) refuse to show or stock any film not rated by the MPAA.
~~~~~~~
That being said, there are good ones and bad ones. Last Tango in Paris and Midnight Cowboy are incredible movies, Angel Heart and Requiem for a Dream are decent as well. I should also note that the original Dawn of the Dead was unrated. On the flip side, Showgirls should be buried in the entrails of the people that made it.
Now if your question is about "good" porn movies, there are a few out there, but in the day and age of "XXX 4 hours of 3 minute clips of XXX latex-wearing-nuns wrestling XXX goats in warm jello XXX" they are few and far between. I'm not an expert (koff) on the subject, but the best ones I've seen were from the late 70s-early 80s. Pirates is good in a cheesy, campy, bad-movie way.
Oh, yeah . . . I completely forgot about LAST TANGO IN PARIS. Good call!
As for Phaedrusz's comments about X-rated movies, I remember when I worked in a video rental store during the 1980s, guys were always coming in asking about our porno collection. "Do you carry TRIPLE X-RATED movies? I only want TRIPLE X. Don't give me any SINGLE X or DOUBLE X." One guy even said, "My buddy has a QUADRUPLE X RATED movie. I haven't seen it yet, but it must be really dirty." These poor souls never realized that TRIPLE X (and whatever this so-called QUADRUPLE X movie was) were ratings invented by the porn industry to make their movies appear to be super-dirty.
Quote from: The Burgomaster on December 09, 2009, 10:52:10 AM
Oh, yeah . . . I completely forgot about LAST TANGO IN PARIS. Good call!
As for Phaedrusz's comments about X-rated movies, I remember when I worked in a video rental store during the 1980s, guys were always coming in asking about our porno collection. "Do you carry TRIPLE X-RATED movies? I only want TRIPLE X. Don't give me any SINGLE X or DOUBLE X." One guy even said, "My buddy has a QUADRUPLE X RATED movie. I haven't seen it yet, but it must be really dirty." These poor souls never realized that TRIPLE X (and whatever this so-called QUADRUPLE X movie was) were ratings invented by the porn industry to make their movies appear to be super-dirty.
hehe... that reminds me of a Yogi Bear cartoon as he was disguise as a 7 star general. He had more rank then all the generals :)
If you want to know what the absolute worst adult film I have ever seen, it would have to be Invasion of the Samurai Sluts from Hell. I swear, this film is more cheesy than the biggest cheddar factory in the world. The movie itself had some humorous moments, like when Tracey Adams would break from script to speak to the audience. But the rest of this film is terrible, not as bad as Devil's Rejects but its incredibly bad. One of my favorite parts in the film is near the end when all those naked women were doing flying kicks.
Cafe Flesh, a post apocalyptic adult film from 1982 where 99% of the world are sex negatives and become ill if they try it. The survivors get their kicks watching sex positives perform in the titular cafe. It is really an art film masquerading as a adult feature, with lots of inventive sets and camera work. In a weird way Cafe Flesh is almost an anti-porn porn in that the viewers/voyeurs (both in the film and at home) are made to feel like dirt for watching. Very strange and unique, the only thing that comes close to mind is the mind bending 1989 version of Dr. Caligari by the same director Stephen Sayadian (AKA Rinse Dream).
I like Ron Jeremy, he's so funny ... makes me laugh.
84/85 when I was about 12 or 14 I found my stepdad's old xrated vhs tapes lol, I think I remember the name ... Dracula x something like that, I loved that movie!
How the hell can someone think critically about porn films? They aren't meant to have any story value, they're meant to be watched by lonely people, or couples :teddyr:
And yes, I've seen thousands of porn films, and I'm shocked the original poster of this topic hasn't :buggedout:
Quote from: vukxfiles on December 21, 2009, 08:11:55 AM
they're meant to be watched by lonely people, or couples :teddyr:
And yes, I've seen thousands of porn films, and I'm shocked the original poster of this topic hasn't :buggedout:
1. Porn is for everybody who "wants" to watch it, because we are human beings with certain urges. Plus, if you're "lonely" you're probably not one half of a couple and if you are in a relationship, how are you lonely??
2. The original poster of this topic said he
had seen porn flicks. :smile:
Hmm, this has been one of my more interesting posts. I thank you all for your suggestions, comments and insights.
Now I have to admit that I am a thinking man. My thoughts run so deep that if they were an ocean even the greatest submarine in the world would collapse under the crushing pressure of its greatest depths. When I watch a film, I tend to think a lot and analyze it a lot. As you all know, I find faults with every film I see, even adult films. When I watch an adult film, I like to see women undressed and learn a thing or two from the sex scenes. I've often thought about what an adult film would be like if I wrote the script, the plot, be the producer, hired the directors, actors and actresses. My films would highlight the natural beauty of the feminine form and would show sex scenes that would inspire people to try new stuff. And unlike 99% of adult films out there, I would encorage the actors and actresses to perform to the point of orgasm to make it as real as possible. I would hire actors and actresses of various age ranges and ethnicities because I know my audience would have certain tastes. I would hire actresses of various body forms. But for big-breasted actresses I wouldn't hire any actress who's had breat augmentation. Because you can tell if any woman has had breast augmentation and it never looks pretty. My films would also include some of the more bizarre stuff like pregnant women (which I am ashamed to admit I find erotic) and sadomasochism.
I thought about creating a company for such a thing and calling it Platinum Erotica.
The problem with that is that for all the extra time and money, it's not going to sell any better than the crappy porn. At least, not enough to be justified financially. There's a good reason most pornos are crappy movies - people will buy them whether they're good or not. All the average porn buyer wants is people doing things that turn them on, and for most people, that's not too difficult. Most pornos are made quickly and cheaply, and distributed as efficiently as possible (the porn industry pioneered video on demand) to people who will snap up anything that fits their personal preference. Trying to make a quality porno might well increase sales, but it's most likely going to decrease profit.
Pornos don't cover up their shortcomings with sex every five minutes. They dress up their sex with the thin pretense of a story. And if you look at some of the amateur stuff that is selling online, you might not even need that.
Not to be mean, WW, but for somebody so hung up on realism, you're not very realistic.
as asked earlier, some of the seduction cinema films are good, some are bad. for a decent comedy with boobs, I would have to recommend,
1. lord of the g-string
2. american idle (the ozzy parody steals the show)
for more (adult) movies,the late 70's to early 80's x-rated films do have some story lines, some. My favorite is " Never so Deep". it's made by the same gut who did deepthroat. Bit of trivia, in one scene of "Never so Deep" the theme/action music is the long version of the original "People's Court" opening music.
Quote from: joejoeherron on May 06, 2010, 04:37:09 AM
as asked earlier, some of the seduction cinema films are good, some are bad. for a decent comedy with boobs, I would have to recommend,
1. lord of the g-string
2. american idle (the ozzy parody steals the show)
for more (adult) movies,the late 70's to early 80's x-rated films do have some story lines, some. My favorite is " Never so Deep". it's made by the same gut who did deepthroat. Bit of trivia, in one scene of "Never so Deep" the theme/action music is the long version of the original "People's Court" opening music.
Lord of the G-String. Wow. I watched that once on late-night cable and what a riot. Absolutely ridiuculous.
You know, I haven't seen it, but I believe there was this film called Pirates that, for a porno, actually a real plot and a rather high budget and a bunch CGI smacked between the sex scenes. It was like a rip off/parody/homage to Pirates of the Caribbean. I think they even did an R rated version of the film for general distribution.
Anyone heard of this or am I losing my mind?
Ah, here it is!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirates_%282005_film%29 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirates_%282005_film%29)
"Sodomania: Pure Filth". :wink: Much to my dismay, my VCR ate the tape. Personally, I think a "good" x-rated film should be unscripted and as nasty as possible, but I gather that's not what you're looking for. I have a movie called Pretty Little Asians that's a good example of a BAD X-rated film. The girls weren't much to look at (usually I can tolerate that), and the sex scenes were pitiful - the stars of the movie looked like they were half asleep when they were doing the deed. It was just plain BOOORING as hell - something a porno should never be.
I Was Browsing Adult Dvds Recently And Saw Something Interesting
They Made An XXX Ripoff Of RE-ANIMATOR
It Was Called RE-PENETRATOR :bouncegiggle:
.....I Haven't Seen It But It Sounds Funny
Quote from: metalmonster on May 11, 2010, 01:16:51 PM
I Was Browsing Adult Dvds Recently And Saw Something Interesting
They Made An XXX Ripoff Of RE-ANIMATOR
It Was Called RE-PENETRATOR :bouncegiggle:
.....I Haven't Seen It But It Sounds Funny
Often times, the title is the best part of those kind of movies.
... or, ya' know, so I've heard. :wink:
I can only name one at the moment:
1). Fritz the cat
I don't know if Midnight Cowboy had an X rating.
Quote from: vukxfiles on May 23, 2010, 01:18:12 PM
I don't know if Midnight Cowboy had an X rating.
It did when released, I think it may have been reclassified as "R" since.
Quote from: Rev. Powell on May 23, 2010, 05:40:49 PM
Quote from: vukxfiles on May 23, 2010, 01:18:12 PM
I don't know if Midnight Cowboy had an X rating.
It did when released, I think it may have been reclassified as "R" since.
Didn't Midnight Cowboy win Best Picture when it came out?
Quote from: joejoeherron on May 24, 2010, 04:46:26 AM
Quote from: Rev. Powell on May 23, 2010, 05:40:49 PM
Quote from: vukxfiles on May 23, 2010, 01:18:12 PM
I don't know if Midnight Cowboy had an X rating.
It did when released, I think it may have been reclassified as "R" since.
Didn't Midnight Cowboy win Best Picture when it came out?
Yes, but the stupid goodie-two-shoes MPAA gave it an X-rating.
I think the first two 50s Quatermass films may actually have been given an X-rating in Britain. Certainly no sex in them though as far as I can tell anyways (there is a kind of alien entity merging I guess you could argue).
Quote from: vukxfiles on May 24, 2010, 04:57:22 AM
Quote from: joejoeherron on May 24, 2010, 04:46:26 AM
Quote from: Rev. Powell on May 23, 2010, 05:40:49 PM
Quote from: vukxfiles on May 23, 2010, 01:18:12 PM
I don't know if Midnight Cowboy had an X rating.
It did when released, I think it may have been reclassified as "R" since.
Didn't Midnight Cowboy win Best Picture when it came out?
Yes, but the stupid goodie-two-shoes MPAA gave it an X-rating.
The X rating had quite a different meaning in the late 1960s, it was basically equivalent to a "R" or "NC-17" rating today. It wasn't intended for hardcore porn (because they didn't have any at the time.)
Quote from: Rev. Powell on May 24, 2010, 02:53:48 PM
Quote from: vukxfiles on May 24, 2010, 04:57:22 AM
Quote from: joejoeherron on May 24, 2010, 04:46:26 AM
Quote from: Rev. Powell on May 23, 2010, 05:40:49 PM
Quote from: vukxfiles on May 23, 2010, 01:18:12 PM
I don't know if Midnight Cowboy had an X rating.
It did when released, I think it may have been reclassified as "R" since.
Didn't Midnight Cowboy win Best Picture when it came out?
Yes, but the stupid goodie-two-shoes MPAA gave it an X-rating.
The X rating had quite a different meaning in the late 1960s, it was basically equivalent to a "R" or "NC-17" rating today. It wasn't intended for hardcore porn (because they didn't have any at the time.)
As I've heard, the rating was mostly given to sexually-explicit movies, which brought a great box office loss to movies such as Midnight Cowboy, that are good but got the X-rating.
True, the X rating was not intended to designate porn. But since it was not a registered trademark, the porn industry co-opted it for marketing purposes.
Quite a few mainstream movies have received X ratings over the years, for violence as well as sex. The public was largely unaware, because cuts were made to achieve a more marketable rating. Many have since been released on DVD in "unrated" versions, which are basically the x-rated cut.
I don't know that the X rating is used all that much by the MPAA anymore, simply because the ratings have been redefined such that it is kind of redundant, and because it has developed porn connotations.
Porn, over the years, has pretty much stopped using it as well, thanks to more marketing misuse. Adult filmmakers started using X, XX, and XXX to indicate how strong their content was. Since these were not official at all, pretty much everybody started slapping XXX on everything. Mind you, most porn today, I think, falls into what would have been considered XXX - the sex is real and you see everything. There used to be tamer pornos back in the day, where you basically saw boobs, bums and simulated sex. I think that was mainly to comply with stricter regulations in some places, since there was a time when that was all video stores in Canada could carry. The XXX rating did actually mean something in that context. Once the laws were relaxed, around the early 90s, and actual adult video stores started coming on the scene, those "porn lite" movies pretty much disappeared.
The X rating lasted only from 1968-1990, when the NC-17 rating replaced it. By the 1980s they were hardly rating anything with an "X" anymore anyway. Almost everything got an "R" or was released unrated.
There was a question on the boards a while back on whether anyone actually used an XX rating (for example, for simulated sex movies). I never saw or heard of one, but I guess its possible someone decided to slap "XX" on a film as a marketing ploy.
So they did get rid of X altogether when NC-17 came in? Makes sense. I remember quite a few 80s slasher flicks, as well as the more graphic action movies like Robocop, getting slapped with an X and having to trim some of the violence to get the R. Now that you mention it, I can't think of any since then. Mind you, everything made for a wide release these days seems to be aiming for the larger PG audience.
Anyone remember a movie called Pieces? That movie didn't exactly get an X rating, but its commercials said "No one under 17 admitted." Pieces was essentially a copy to the plot of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My friend rented the "clean" version of Pirates before.
Worst movie ever, but at least the costumes were decent.
Quote from: SlyMuffin on May 29, 2010, 08:00:39 PM
My friend rented the "clean" version of Pirates before.
Isn't that a bit like eating sugarless chocolate?
Quote from: BTM on June 20, 2010, 04:02:50 PM
Quote from: SlyMuffin on May 29, 2010, 08:00:39 PM
My friend rented the "clean" version of Pirates before.
Isn't that a bit like eating sugarless chocolate?
friend trying to get to second base?