Was about to post this to "Things I've Learned from Cartoons" and figured maybe it should have its own thread.
A gigantic, heavily-armed humanoid flying robot has roughly the same controls as a Bobcat loader.
Anyone can pilot a gigantic, heavily-armed humanoid flying robot without any prior training, provided he's sufficiently gifted.
It's important to cram as many weapons as possible into your robot, even if any one of them seems sufficient.
High-tech weapons only work if you shout their names really loud.
It is bad etiquette to use your best weapon before you've almost gotten yourself killed using the less effective ones.
Women's necks are twice as long and half as thick as men's.
Japanese people have big, round eyes.
Human hair is a solid object that comes in as many colours as house paint.
There are two species of human beings living together on Earth: the tall and good-looking, and the short and cartoonish. The latter are more prone to eccentric behaviour.
It's perfectly all right to send kids out to fight aliens.
Aliens and monsters want to have their way with our women.
Short skirts are a must have !
The people in charge of the afterlife carry very cool swords.
Ninjas do not look like ninjas.
Depending on what fruit you eat, you can gain certian superpowers.
The navy controls a lot of the world.
When powering up, you grow large muscles and spikey hair.
It is possible for a 10 year old from Wales to teach English to a Junior High All Girl School.
The mafia is full of immortals.
People die if their names are written in a notebook.
Never trust the cute, perky, and happy girls. They are secretly insane.
All shy and timid girls have dark black or purple hair.
Men's noses bleed uncontrollably when they are sexually aroused.
Teenage boys flee in terror when attractive women proposition them.
Just before they die, evil people are given to making speeches about how their fathers didn't love them.
Most heroes will listen to these speeches and suddenly feel bad about killing the evil person, even though the evil guy wiped out his entire family/race/planet/whatever.
The mightiest of armies can be defeated by singing a song.
The youngest female member of any particular group will be the most heavily sexualized, which will be even more disturbing because her propensity for bouncing on men's laps, flashing her undies, or deep-throating phallic foods will be presented as evidence of her innocence and cuteness.
Tenticles will do horrible things to you...
People are really, really, really, really tough. In fact, many people are almost impossible to kill.
Quote from: AndyC on April 29, 2010, 09:31:22 AM
Was about to post this to "Things I've Learned from Cartoons" and figured maybe it should have its own thread.
It's perfectly all right to send kids out to fight aliens.
Is there an other reason to have'em ?
Quote from: oxode on April 29, 2010, 01:27:29 PM
Quote from: AndyC on April 29, 2010, 09:31:22 AM
Was about to post this to "Things I've Learned from Cartoons" and figured maybe it should have its own thread.
It's perfectly all right to send kids out to fight aliens.
Is there an other reason to have'em ?
Sure! They can fight against evil organizations! Learned that through the anime and game version of Pokemon!
I'm training my kids to fight WalMart.
Quote from: akiratubo on April 29, 2010, 10:31:25 AM
The mightiest of armies can be defeated by singing a song.
You talk about Barry Manilow ?
What I learned:
Spectacles enhance intellect.
Gun sights are totally superfluent.
You can carry enormous amounts of weapons and ammo in Your suit and it wont even bulge.
The human body contains more than 10 gallons of blood - naturally under very high pressure.
Every woman/girl gets hot when raped.
Gods, angels, saints -even buddhistic- tend to be armed and violent.
Every vehicle -even bicycles- explode on collision.
Human body parts are only loosely attached - so be carefull!
Every good guy/girl is a expert shot and martial arts crack.
Unnamed bad henchmen should have good insurances.
You don't have to work to have allways money.
Quote from: Flick James on April 29, 2010, 01:49:19 PM
I'm training my kids to fight WalMart.
I'd count that as evil organization. :thumbup:
Ehm and . . . oh yes, thanks for this thread Andy!
A bit away of it, but it might fit a little:
Has anybody an idea why Popey never has a canopener on him?
Perverted behavior by men is always allowed. The offended female may deliver a knuckle sandwich but no one else minds.
Japanese women in anime are the exact opposite of their human counterparts: large breasts, big eyes, and multiple hues of hair color.
When showing any strong emotion, the size of eyes/mouth/bodily proportions know no bounds whatsoever.
It's okay to look up a girl's skirt/at her panties; in fact, the camera angle often encourages this.
Hair is really, really shiny.
Human mouths and stomachs can accept and hold absurd amounts of food.
A terrible event triggers jagged lines in reality which can be sensed by people a great distance away.
Shocked people cause the air around them to manifest in dark streaks.
Sweat is produced from a single large pore on the side of the head.
There's a good chance that your neighbor is a vampire/space alien/demi-god/secret agent/musical genius.
People can't tell the difference between your secret identity and your real one, even if you don't wear a mask.
When transforming, your enemies are obligated to let you scream, twirl, flex, or otherwise act out the action.
Anthropomorphic animals are perfectly normal in human towns. They can even hold office.
Proper Martial arts techniques included loudly announcing the name of the move and/or fighting style, as long as you are properly powered up.
Thanks to emotions, the human body will expand, contract, or otherwise distort when yelling.
No matter how planet-destroyingly powerful you are, you can always get stronger.
Landing in the palm of a giant mech's hand after falling several hundred feet will not result in you turning into a gooey red mess on the mech's hand
No matter how badly damaged a city is, it will be rebuilt by next week unless the plot demands that it remain in ruins
Beating the ever-loving sh*t out of someone will make them your friend
The best shapes for combat vehicles resemble people and animals.
Your heroism can be measured by how high your hair sticks up.
Giant fighting robots should always have a less effective configuration, usually several smaller machines, and this is the preferred option for engaging an enemy.
Rebuilding a 200-year old shipwreck from the inside out is the most practical way to build a spaceship in a hurry.
The design of a seagoing battleship works pretty well in space too.
No matter what harm your enemy does, he could still wind up on your side.
Soy milk, spring water and sake come in virtually identical bottles.
Quote from: AndyC on April 29, 2010, 10:18:30 PM
Rebuilding a 200-year old shipwreck from the inside out is the most practical way to build a spaceship in a hurry.
The design of a seagoing battleship works pretty well in space too.
But only if it's the the Yamato, - which must be a heap of rust by now, after being bombed to smithereens and remaining in saltwater for decades -so it's not in general.
But another thing I learned in Anime:
You can get as drunk as You like and will never puke.
If You are really tough, You can drink alcohol at any time of day and it will not slow You down.
"Funny" characters can eat enormous amounts of food in seconds.
Girls wear their schooluniforms nearly all the time.
Girls wear no bloomers with patterns.
If You smash someones face he will recover without change of appearance. -No crooked noses or so. -
It's real fun to have a brawl.
You get your best ideas when having conversations while bathing with your friends.
If you're an even moderately attractive women then there is some seriously f*cked up porn of you on the internet.
Blue, red, green, yellow, purple, and other sorted colors are perfectly normally hair colors for guys and girls in Japan.
There exist schools just for monsters so they can function in the human world.
Unpopular guys have harems of different types of girls.
Normal pets such as dogs and cats do not exist in Japan, only weird fox/squirrel/cat hybrids.
Quote from: Monster Jungle X-Ray on May 04, 2010, 10:27:42 AM
Normal pets such as dogs and cats do not exist in Japan, only weird fox/squirrel/cat hybrids.
Also penguins and monkeys.
Animes!!! My favorite form of noninteractive media entertainment. I love amimes ins spite of the serious reality flaws of most of them. I have been watching animes since my pre-teen years. It all started with Speed Racer, G-Force and Star Blazers. Those three share a very special place in my heart. Now if you're wondering what my favorite anime tv show and move is here they are. Favorite anime TV show is definitely FLCL. Haruhara Haruko is my most favorite anime heroine of all. She uses a richenbaker guitar as her main weapon. I remember one extremely funny one where she was delivering Naota's lunch in his class then a monster appears. She grabs a ukele from one of the students and tries to attack it but the attack fails. She returns the shattered instrument to the student and says "Ukele no good." I laugh so hard at that scene everytime I see it. Its only too bad that show has only 6 episodes as it was just an experiment by Gainax.
My favorite anime movie? So far its Fist of the North Star. An apocalyptic tale. I won't go into why I like this film. I just want to get into the things I learned from animes
When women get sad or emotional, their eyes ripple.
Elderly men are comic relief.
The ultimate weapon for defeating the ultimate villain always has a bright blue aura. (Demon City Shinjuku)
Cars can move sideways (Riding Bean)
Candles can paralyze vampires (Vampire Hunter D)
The Richebaker guitar can kill any monster (FLCL)
When a supermonster, artificial sun or a massive supership is destroyed, it always goes in a blaze of glory (Star Blazers)
When a car is thrown off a cliff, the resulting explosion is massive (Speed Racer)
Girls as young as 16 can be big breated (Bleach)
Really big explosions tend to shoot out horizontally in two directions and flash a couple of times before forming a fireball.
The abusive boss who always seems to be trying to get your ass killed really cares deeply about you, and just wants you to do your best.
When people move really fast, they stop moving completely.
All little boys need Ritalin.
An elite, carefully-chosen team on a dangerous mission will always have room for last-minute volunteers off the street.
No weapon is too big to be practical.
The Dead Sea Scrolls contain warnings about invading monsters.
Giant spaceships, fortresses and castles are frequently built with a second, better one inside, in case they're destroyed.
Many giant robots are designed so that any serious damage is felt by the pilot as intense pain.
No matter how rushed your repairs, there's always time for a cool paint job.
Really cute girls have a vocabulary of exactly one word
All Aliens Can Speak Perfect English
Rabbit/cat hybrid creatures live on the moon and eat the carrots that grow there
You Can Make Protein Shakes By Putting Beef Jerky In A Blender
Aliens Can Shoot Energy Beams Out Of Their Hands And Fly , And Many People Can Too
On Earth There Exist Little Yellow Rabbit-like Creatures That Shoot Electricity
The Space Trip To Another Galaxy Is Only A Ten Minute Flight By Giant Robot
The Japanese Are Really Really REALLY Ahead Of America When It Comes To The Advancement Of Space Travel And Other Technology
There Are Some Space Aliens That Look Identical To Humans
You Can Change Clothes And/Or Physical Appearance By Shouting "power up!"
Quote from: Paquita on May 01, 2010, 09:05:46 AM
You get your best ideas when having conversations while bathing with your friends.
What has this to do with Anime? It's a fact of life!
Quote from: Dr. Whom on May 05, 2010, 03:26:38 PM
Really cute girls have a vocabulary of exactly one word
Ehem, . . . . "No"?
. . . Oh no, that would be reality!