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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: Allhallowsday on May 02, 2010, 01:50:09 PM

Title: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! Dumb film
Post by: Allhallowsday on May 02, 2010, 01:50:09 PM
Caught the last hour of BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS last night on IFC... I've seen it before, but it gets "better" each time I look at the thing.  One of the worst films ever cranked out of Hollywood, and a jaw-dropping delight (even upon repeated viewings).  I was tired but had to stay up until 1:30 am because the ending is just... beyond belief.  
This film has it all: it's badly directed, dizzily shot, super-fast edited, plus:
Girl group "Rock" band ("The Carrie Nations"  :lookingup:  :bouncegiggle:) - check!  
Ridiculous plot with cringe-worthy, deliriously-dated dialogue - check!
Truly terribly embarrassing songs - check!
Sex in a loft, on a hay bale,in a meadow, in a rolls royce (better than a "Bentley! Bentley! Bentley!") - check!
Girls cheating on guys, guys cheating on girls, everybody professing their love eternally to each other and then cheating - check!
Drugs, pot-high slimy lawyer, Suicide - check!
Gun-fellating murder - check!
Busty babes, gay lust and lesbian love - check!  
Decapitation, automobile assault, lame fist fights - check!
"Soul sister" cheating with chronically shirtless mandingo - check!
Nazi uniform - check!
Cripple cured by being rolled upon by struggling chicks, black guy and murderous transexual - check!  
Happy smiling friends in under 10 seconds of discovering gal pal's corpse - check!  
Absurd recap narration with pointless platitudes as if anyone could take such exploitative drivel seriously - check!  

Thank you, RUSS MEYER, once again... BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS - a craptastic funtastic messterpiece!!!  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Rk2ungFUVI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQnobTsMnx0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKMa9x6OH9w
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: indianasmith on May 02, 2010, 01:53:42 PM
I've watched bits and pieces of this one at one time or another, enough to have pretty much seen the whole movie.  But if you can take in this entire cinematic excrescence in one sitting, you are a stronger man than I!!!!



But aren't we all glad the late 60's - early 70's are OVER???????
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: Doggett on May 02, 2010, 03:24:30 PM
Erm...

:bluesad:

I don't like it.


I've seen it twice and it just wasn't entertaining to me. Like Indiana Smith, I had to watch it in bits and pieces, one sitting could've been the end of me.
I was hoping for a Supervixens kinda flick ! :teddyr:
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: Allhallowsday on May 02, 2010, 06:48:50 PM
Quote from: Doggett on May 02, 2010, 03:24:30 PM
Erm... :bluesad: I don't like it.
I don't like it either!   :teddyr:  It's terrible

I love it. 
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: Javakoala on May 02, 2010, 06:58:03 PM
Any movie with the line, "You shall drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" cannot be bad in "bad movie" terms.
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: skuts on May 03, 2010, 11:41:42 AM
This is one of my all-time favorites. A great "sequel" to this is "The Seven Minutes".
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: retrorussell on May 03, 2010, 02:28:40 PM
I own this film.. I actually like it.  Of course, it's a cheesefest and the dialogue is intentionally atrocious, but for me the appeal lies in the fact that it's not really in a single definable genre of film.. there's action, horror, romance, sex, drugs, comedy, etc. 
My favorite line is probably "You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!"
:bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
Z-man.. er, Superwoman, cracks me up.
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: retrorussell on May 03, 2010, 11:21:43 PM
Quote from: Javakoala on May 02, 2010, 06:58:03 PM
Any movie with the line, "You shall drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" cannot be bad in "bad movie" terms.
Woah!  How did I not notice that quote was already posted?
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: dean on May 04, 2010, 02:43:38 AM
I'm a huge fan of this film.  I think it's because I really liked the music and the dialogue is a crack up [using jousting as a metaphor for sex is quick fun!]

Haven't seen all of Meyer's films, but I've seen most and this is so far my favourite...
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: Jim H on May 04, 2010, 02:46:20 AM
Not mentioned, but it should be.  Roger Ebert wrote it.  Just keep that in mind.  It makes it even more surreal somehow.
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: Allhallowsday on May 04, 2010, 09:37:23 AM
Quote from: Jim H on May 04, 2010, 02:46:20 AM
Not mentioned, but it should be.  Roger Ebert wrote it.  Just keep that in mind.  It makes it even more surreal somehow.
Especially since EBERT has been trying to explain it away as a "spoof" for decades.  It's a RUSS MEYER film, for cryin' out loud!   :bouncegiggle:
Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! Dumb film
Post by: Allhallowsday on February 25, 2018, 03:48:31 PM


I am bumping this old review so BELA may see it.  We were talking about this movie... 

Title: Re: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ~ HAS IT ALL!!! (Dumb film)
Post by: Svengoolie 3 on March 03, 2018, 07:14:25 AM
Quote from: Javakoala on May 02, 2010, 06:58:03 PM
Any movie with the line, "You shall drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" cannot be bad in "bad movie" terms.

Thanks for posting that.  There's another line I will never be able to forget....