hi
i am curious/ what is your ten must have things that b-movies require?
Plan 9 From Outer-Space
The Brain From Planet Arous
Godzilla, King of the Monsters
The Pumaman
Do you mean Ten essential Bad Movies for the avid viewer, or do you mean ten elemental cliche's that make a great B-Movie?
Quote from: LilCerberus on May 05, 2010, 03:24:53 PM
Do you mean Ten essential Bad Movies for the avid viewer, or do you mean ten elemental cliche's that make a great B-Movie?
If it's the latter, I vote for 'A GOOFY-LOOKIN' MONSTER' as #1!
(http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/rr154/Raffine/Robot-Monster_l.jpg)
I'd start with the proverbial "Three Bs" - Blood, Breasts & Beasts.
There's always the obligatory "Don't go in there" & "Don't touch that" scene
The protagonist typically doesn't get along with anybody, either because they blame them self for a past tragedy, or their associates heard some rumor. In addition, there's always the unbending authority figure, as well as having to work with a rude former lover.
I've got the answer no mater WHAT the question actually was.
Boobs. We such as everyone need Boobs. You don't have to show them (of course you should) but at least give us a pair of nice boobs to look at, tight blouse or something doesn't have to be much just throw a couple of them in there.
Yup, that's about it. Oh and often people say they need a storyline or characters they can connect to.
WRONG.
It's the Boobs baby! Why the hell do you think people still listen to Britney spears music on MTV or visit her concerts. Take a look at the picture, yes she has a microphone attached to her head because she "makes" music but if you look just a biiiiiittt down you can see the actual reason why her career does still exist.
(http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/britney_boobs_cc.jpg)
You need action of some kind. Martial art fights that break out for the slightest reasons, maniacs with butcher knives, explosions, machine guns, monsters, whatever. You just can't have a decent B-movie romance or B-movie comedy. They just don't work.
You next need a tiny budget.
Crew and/or actors that don't have the talent to match their vision is another good one.
Quote from: Starsky on May 05, 2010, 03:58:18 PM
I've got the answer no mater WHAT the question actually was.
Boobs. We such as everyone need Boobs. You don't have to show them (of course you should) but at least give us a pair of nice boobs to look at, tight blouse or something doesn't have to be much just throw a couple of them in there.
Yup, that's about it. Oh and often people say they need a storyline or characters they can connect to.
WRONG.
It's the Boobs baby! Why the hell do you think people still listen to Britney spears music on MTV or visit her concerts. Take a look at the picture, yes she has a microphone attached to her head because she "makes" music but if you look just a biiiiiittt down you can see the actual reason why her career does still exist.
(http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/britney_boobs_cc.jpg)
Boobs are like one of the ten commandments of B. Like you said, they don't necessarily have to be shown. Even looking back at the classics of the 50's and 60's, women in tight blouses with cone-shaped boobies is a staple. Anything that anyone else brings up is sure to be dependent on genre. Boobies transcend genre. I'm lucky enough to have a wife who recongnizes that.
how about terrible music?
I'm with Starsky, boobs ! :drink:
hi
i mean the 10 cliches what you have to have to create the b=movie syndrome. boobs. yeh you got to have those. crap dialogue yeh that as well. the omg a 50p mask. plus the obligatary it,s behind you scenes. well thanks for the input. and thanks for the advice ...
macabre man.
Quote from: vik on May 06, 2010, 02:09:31 PM
I'm with Starsky, boobs ! :drink:
I'm pretty sure Linnea Quigley has those... :teddyr:
Quote from: Doggett on May 06, 2010, 03:05:48 PM
Quote from: vik on May 06, 2010, 02:09:31 PM
I'm with Starsky, boobs ! :drink:
I'm pretty sure Linnea Quigley has those... :teddyr:
Yeah, Return of the living dead :lookingup:
Still, we need boob variety
1. Visible microphones and/or microphone shadows
2. Bad dubbing
3. At least one old, washed-up, actor or actress
4. At least 2 alternate titles (and it helps if they are related to a fad, such as using the word "Exorcist" or "Exorcism" in a movie's alternate title regardless of whether the movie has anything to do with exorcisms)
5. Rear projection special effects
6. Blood coming out of someone's mouth regardless of where their wound is
7. Cars exploding whenever they crash - - even if the crash isn't very severe
8. A poster or cover art that shows a big, muscular guy wearing a torn shirt (even though the actor who plays this character is about 5' 9" tall and weighs about 150 pounds)
9. Advertisements that say, "From the people who brought you [insert popular movie title here]" - - when in reality the only person who worked on the popular movie was the key grip
10. A laboratory full of beakers and test tubes containing brightly colored liquids that always seem to be boiling
Quote from: The Burgomaster on May 06, 2010, 07:18:24 PM
3. At least one old, washed-up, actor or actress
Or Playboy Playmate, rapper, or '80s teen heartthrob.
1) Goofy @$$ed monster
2) Woman (women) willing to appear in states of undress or at least scantilly clad.
3) Bad lighting (or night scenes shot in the daytime)
4) Cheesy dancing scenes where the camera disturbingly focuses on butts, both female and male?!
5) Generic bad rock 'n' roll music is a plus
6) A couple good screamers for monster attack scenes
7) copious amounts of fake blood, or chocolate syrup if your film is black and white
8) At least one recognizable star if you can get one (if not get someone related to someone recognizable). Doesn't matter if he/she is washed up or wasted most of the time just as long as you get them in enough scenes to put their recognizable name on your poster
9) Scenes filmed in an old, abandoned factory to stand in for a futuristic city/spaceship/or for just no plausible reason at all.
10) scenes filmed in Bronson canyon, or caves, if possible.
1. Awful costumes.
2. Washed-up mainstream stars, or b-movie actors who have been in many films and play the same role all the time (Bruce Campbell, George
Eastman), or actors who never appear in another movie ever again.
3. Bad dialogue.
4. Bad special effects/computer animation.
5. Amateurish camera work and film editing.
6. Plot holes as big as craters.
7. Crappy keyboard demo muzak as the soundtrack or 80's glam rock or 70's hot funk or sucky music that sound like the boom mic's picking
it up from a cassette player that's playing a type that has been covered in mud.
8. No character development for the audience to identify or get attached to any of the characters. Character motivation isn't logically
thought out, they act out of affect-- for example in Mega Piranha the characters didn't bother to build a dam at first to stop the spread
of piranhas, instead they fired missiles and shot at them from a helicopter.
9. Stock footage.
10. The idea of who the movie is targeted to and should be targeted to is very hazy.