hi
We all have one,you know! that secret we want to get off our chest but are afraid to do so.
well here i go, several years ago whilst riding my motorbike i knocked down and killed my wife,s cat(my wife loves cats,i loathe them) knowing i was in deep s**t i picked up the limp body and placed it on some land we own adjacent to our house. After several frantic and tearful days of looking my wife finally found her beloved cat dead on our land.It broke her heart and i planned on owning up but i have this insane desire to stay alive. so there i have repented, now it is your turn what is your skeleton in your closet?
a very sad and broken macabre,
NOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
I have a feeling your confession won't fly very well with all the animal and cat lovers here.
Quote from: macabre on June 12, 2010, 04:34:31 PM
so there i have repented
I don't think you've repented until you've confessed this to YOUR WIFE - the whole story, including how you tried to hide what happened rather than posting it to an Internet forum composed of a bunch of folks that don't know you.
Unless you HAVE done this and I misunderstood your post, in which case good on ya.
My two cents...
I am Cropsey
hi
let me try and make some sense of this, my loves cats,my wife would kill me should she ever know of my accident.you guys can tell me i must confess all to my wife but as i mentioned i kind of like living and i have no desire to be tortured and finally slaughtered by my wife. so i shall confess all to you ,even though i am sad that you consider yourselves as strangers,i kind of thought we are all friends on this site, any way the whole idea was to allow you to get your skeletons out of the closet. so come on
do it!
macabre
Hold the phone there, macabre:
There are degrees of friendship. You have been on here - what - a whole whopping five weeks? We are just beginning to get to know you.
I think we understand your situation. I strongly suspect you expect your wife to believe you ran over the cat on purpose. If your dislike of the cat was an open issue, that reaction could be natural. Still, I have to agree with ulthar: it is not up to us to give you any form of 'absolution' for the deed you have confessed. It is not our place. You have to seek that from the person who was most affected: your wife. The longer you leave it, the worse the reaction will be. Go ahead and keep it from her: but don't expect to be 'off the hook' simply because you have aired the incident here.
(I've tried but I am afraid I cannot hold back mentioning that it is disturbing to me how callous you seem to be about an animal (your hate for cats as a species notwithstanding), yet you work with children with special needs which presumably requires great compassion - as you have pointed out several times. I find that an unsettling incongruity.)
Quote from: lester1/2jr on June 12, 2010, 05:07:54 PM
I am Cropsey
:buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
I can't even comprehend this. Quite frankly, if you were my husband, this would be grounds for divorce. If you'd told the truth from the get-go and seemed to show some shame or sympathy or any actual human emotion aside from trying not to get caught... I'm not even sure I could fully forgive you even then, if I were in your wife's shoes, but at least you wouldn't be outright lying to my face for years, so I'd give points for that. I mean, you actually LET your wife cry her eyes out and look for the body YOU hid... for days... and you think that's just peachy? This is a HUGE, disturbing lie and I can't get behind animal hate or abuse and I can't relate to people who demonize cats. It doesn't make you look cool or "hard" or anything of the sort to so despise a small, fuzzy family pet. Some things just shouldn't be confessed to on a message board or anywhere, especially in this way. I'm sorry, but this post just makes me really sad from a purely human perspective.
hi
I seem to have opened up a can of worms with this thread.First do not underestimate my love for my job and my love for any child,regardless of whether the child is disabled or not.The whole idea of this thread was not to take it seriously but to allow you guys to have a chance to put pen to paper and write down anything you may feel slightly guilty of. This particular accident happened a long time ago and as i mentioned it was an ACCIDENT!. I love animals and we have fish a dog and quite a few more animal additions to our family.When i say i loathe cats it does not mean i would go out and intentionally hurt one,we all have our pet hates. I never claimed to be any of you guys best friends i don,t expect no birthday cards from you, i just made a valid point.I am quite shocked from the response you guys have shown i did not go out and kill the cat on purpose I realise i should have told my wife but i didn,t. Before you guys set out to be my jury and give me the death penalty let me just say this last thing.
LET HIM WHO HAS NOT SINNED CAST THE FIRST STONE!!!!!
MACABRE!!!!!
Please say I, not 'i'. :smile:
Ah yes, totally my fault you're shocked at my response. After all, you clearly sounded very repentant in your post, what with your Borat-style "NOT!!!" after saying you were sad about it. It's all in the past, a long time ago like you said, and I'm sure she'd feel the same way if she knew, right? So no worries. :thumbup:
Seriously, how could you watch your wife go through the agony of looking for her lost cat that you knew you hid in plain sight so she'd find it eventually? I'm being totally honest here but that just strikes me as really coldhearted, looking out for number one and not caring how much time she spent, heartsick, looking for her beloved pet. Just really wrong on a very basic level. Again, I'm sorry, but that's just cruel and it's not just about killing the cat, which is bad enough in my eyes, but how you treated your wife in your own self-interest.
As far as casting stones goes, it's interesting of you to bring up bible verse to try to make me feel bad for questioning your judgment in sharing this very un-Christlike story. What can I say? Overshare and you'll get responses. Did you really think nobody would reply to your confession? On the internet? Or is this just some sort of elaborate trolling? I'm pretty new here so I'm not quite sure what to believe about this. :\
hi
This shall be my last say on this subject.I expected a response and I got one(well quite a few) I accept what i did was cruel and spiteful but had I told my wife of this accident it would have probably meant me having to go to some Court to claim the right to see my children.When I say this I mean it.I am not saying I am the good guy and I am not asking for justification.This accident happened whilst I was test riding my friends motorbike after I had fixed it for him.My wife does not allow me to ride bikes because she claims it gives me too much freedom.This incident would not have been an accident in my wife's eyes(she does not believe in accidents) I am saddened that anyone would question my love for my job or for my children(because I do not like cats I am not a good teacher!)
I love animals and we have quite a few pets, cats(yes) birds,fish,chinchilla and a moody parrot I had an accident and I made a choice it was the wrong choice I know ,but for me at the time it was the right choice.To imply that I am trying to be "HARD" for posting this thread is stupid and I shall not even go down that route. We have all done something we are ashamed of.I should not have posted my mistake but I did and I shall live with it.
Whether you guys still count me as a friend only time will tell but I shall still continue to use this site until such time that you guys ask me not to.
Quote from: macabre on June 12, 2010, 04:34:31 PM
hi
We all have one,you know! that secret we want to get off our chest but are afraid to do so.
well here i go, several years ago whilst riding my motorbike i knocked down and killed my wife,s cat(my wife loves cats,i loathe them) knowing i was in deep s**t i picked up the limp body and placed it on some land we own adjacent to our house. After several frantic and tearful days of looking my wife finally found her beloved cat dead on our land.It broke her heart and i planned on owning up but i have this insane desire to stay alive. so there i have repented, now it is your turn what is your skeleton in your closet?
a very sad and broken macabre,
NOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
You let your wife suffer for
"several frantic and tearful days"? Do you think your life is some terrible sitcom? Your responses to
Luna ignore the fact that your tone was set by this final remark: "
NOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!" :hatred:
Instead of being contrite, you argue the point. I'm sorry,
Macabre, and I don't mean to encourage you off the site, but, I knock you: whatever else you are, you're an ass. :thumbdown:
Quote from: Allhallowsday on June 13, 2010, 11:33:06 PM
Your responses to Luna ignore the fact that your tone was set by this final remark: "NOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!" :hatred:
I thought it was set by the glib tone of the whole post, content notwithstanding.
And although we've all done things we're ashamed of, I think most of the guys on here could say they haven't kept a secret that big from their wives. And that's what people are objecting to. Not killing the cat, but the deception. If it's something as important to her as the post would suggest, then covering it up to avoid her anger is not just childish but I'd almost consider it infidelity. There is an obvious lack of trust there, with a wife who is not being trusted to understand and a husband who clearly cannot be trusted.
Quote from: AndyC on June 17, 2010, 11:22:26 AM
Quote from: Allhallowsday on June 13, 2010, 11:33:06 PM
Your responses to Luna ignore the fact that your tone was set by this final remark: "NOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!" :hatred:
I thought it was set by the glib tone of the whole post, content notwithstanding.
And although we've all done things we're ashamed of, I think most of the guys on here could say they haven't kept a secret that big from their wives. And that's what people are objecting to. Not killing the cat, but the deception. If it's something as important to her as the post would suggest, then covering it up to avoid her anger is not just childish but I'd almost consider it infidelity. There is an obvious lack of trust there, with a wife who is not being trusted to understand and a husband who clearly cannot be trusted.
I'll chime in along similar lines. If you haven't already done so, you may want to look at your initial post. The tone of it I think is what has spawned such negative response, not so much that you did something you're ashamed of and haven't confessed to. The fact that it was an animal is certainly going to touch some nerves as well, so you really shouldn't be taken aback or surprised by such outrage.
But, to offer a slightly friendlier response, I believe you should get over the reaction you've received, and actually try and take something from it. No use in being confrontational about it. It was an unfortunate post, but that doesn't make you a demon. And, regarding friendship, true friends are going to tell you when you're mistaken or our of line, which your initial post squarely puts you. Not trying to be confrontational, just suggesting you apply humility, get over it, and move on.
I'm married, and I can tell you that this is going to haunt you for the rest of your life if you don't confess it. I know it's harsh, and particularly so if you have kept it hidden. But your wife does deserve to know, whether you think the reaction will be over-the-top or not. Do you have any more cats? If you don't, I might suggest that you plan a humble confession and apology, do your best to convince your wife that it was not intentional, and suggest the acquisition of a cat to prove that you are tolerant of them. I don't know if that last bit will carry any weight with your wife or not, just a suggestion. Although your wife may brow-beat your severely, you must resist the urge to become defensive, as strong as that urge is likely to be.
There, I've done my best to be constructive.
hi
Funny that i am being classed as being confrontational when all i am doing is replying to your posts. I have commented in past posts that I am sorry for making this mistake and I feel i need to give you guys a bit more information about myself so hopefully you will better understand me.Ten years ago my wife and I had our lives turned upside down,we had our hearts ripped out and trampled on. Ten years ago whilst sat in a room with a neurologist we were told rather harshly that our 6 month old son had a neurological condition called LISSENCEPHALY(SMOOTH BRAIN). This information hurt me, this information devastated my wife.My wife had a nervous and physical breakdown she had to have counselling and her whole personality changed.My wife became very possessive and verballyand physically abusive towards me.My wife became "easy prey" and she had several public and em barrising affairs.We lost many friends because they could not cope with her temperament.I bought her the cats to give her some responsibility and i must confess she did like them.When i said she searched frantically and tearfully i kind of exaggerated a bit,although she did cry when the cat was found(by the way i found the cat not my wife). When i said "NOTT at the end of my first post i must admit i meant it.If it happened again i would do the same.My wife cannot reason like you or i ,she has kidnapped my children on several occasions taking them to her mums,it would have served no purpose to have told my wife the truth,i should not have been on the bike,i was on the bike and i had an accident.I DO NOT CLAIM TO BBE A SAINT BUT BELIEVE ME I HAD TO DO WHAT I DID FOR MY OWN REASONS.I did not want my wife to have another exscuse to hit me or take away my children.I am truly sorry guys fro posting this confession but i speak with my heart and just say things as they are,macabre
Certainly that information puts things in a different light, macabre. What's the old Cheyenne proverb? Do not judge your neighbor until you walk two moons in his moccasins. Seems appropriate here. Given the circumstances you describe, it may be one of those rare situations where a secret is warranted. But I think most of the reactions were understandable given the initial post.
I wish you and your family healing and closure. Don't give up entirely that such a thing is possible. Absolution from any of us is impossible and irrelevant.
Quote from: macabre on June 15, 2010, 08:53:22 AM
...thank-you for your thoughtful answers.wow! I envy you ulthar you I wish I could lead my life as you do.I have analysed my current position and i am very happy with the children I teach(I teach in a private school that specialises in severely disabled children) . I love communicating with he parents and I help out withthe children outside of school hours but I am more content where I am.I spoke to my wife last night and I told her that we have many things a lot of families may not have.I finish my job in time for me to pick up my son .My answer shall be thank-you for the opportunity but I shall stay where I am .thank-you guys for helping me reach this decision, my homelife is such that my wife and i do not have to many friends so i am pleased I can count on you as friends and once again I apologise for my last post it was not intended to offend anyone. sometimes i just say things as they are and I get in trouble...
Since you'd cited this thread in your other posting, I'm compelled to quote it here. I think the comment I've quoted above is a little passive-aggressive, and misleading. And you did argue with
Luna in this thread. You must realize with the information we had, you did not look particularly sensitive or contrite. Statements like "my wife will kill me" are common exaggerations, and without the new information, seem childish. So, I still think you acted a bit of a
mule in your previous postings in this thread, but, I applaud your clarification. As
Flick James mentioned, this may be one of those instances where a secret is necessary. :thumbup:
hi
I think you may have been right the first time. I AM AN ASS!.I understand that my direct way of talking/writing to people does nor bare well with everyone.I shall try and curb the way i talk from now on .I hold no grudges too any of you guys Luna and yourself were quite right in your observations.I come on this site because it has many friends who love the same crazy movies that i do,I do not wish to come on and offend anyone but I thank you and flick for seeing things from my point of view.I still have quite a lot to learn on the etiquette of being on sites such as this one,
thank-you and i hope to have many conversations with you in the future.
macabre
Quote from: macabre on June 17, 2010, 03:12:28 PM
I think you may have been right the first time. I AM AN ASS!.I understand that my direct way of talking/writing to people does nor bare well with everyone.I shall try and curb the way i talk from now on .I hold no grudges too any of you guys Luna and yourself were quite right in your observations.I come on this site because it has many friends who love the same crazy movies that i do,I do not wish to come on and offend anyone but I thank you and flick for seeing things from my point of view.I still have quite a lot to learn on the etiquette of being on sites such as this one,
thank-you and i hope to have many conversations with you in the future.
No, it's not about your "direct" talk - I do that all over this forum and so do most of the regular contributors. And it can p**s people off, and that's too bad. However, you need to embrace that your commentary was neither sensitive nor contrite. Don't imply that we can't handle your "directness". I don't think you angered or offended anyone until you side-stepped your responsibility: if you open yourself up with a confessional and are flip about it, then be prepared to take the criticism. That is what I meant by misleading passive-aggressive BS. Now you
are starting to p**s me off.
Quote from: macabre on June 17, 2010, 01:10:53 PM
...When i said she searched frantically and tearfully i kind of exaggerated a bit,although she did cry when the cat was found(by the way i found the cat not my wife)...
And
by the way this is perplexing... you were the one who killed the cat and dumped the body to be "found" at a later date... :question:
This thread has run its course. I do not believe that any further constructive debate is going to come of it.