Let's count them down:
1. My 1.5 yr old has got 16 teeth (sharp little buggers) and he has bit me before on the shoulder (I was holding him) after wailing loudly in my direction. Zombies always bite victims on the shoulder after wailing loudly in their direction.
2. My whole life is now based around areas that are barricaded (God bless child-proof gates, though when needed I have built barricades out of kitchen chairs/scrap wood/tables/furniture before which would look completely in place in a zombie movie) and are "safe" (from the toddler getting into anything within reach of arms or climbing). Being in a zombie movie one is always pre-occupied with maintaining baricadded "safe" areas out of reach of zombies.
3. Toddlers almost never sleep and never slow down. They are unstoppable, just like zombies.
4. Zombies and toddlers eat whatever they can grab (including plastic/metal/wood/flesh)
Any additions?
5. Toddlers mindlessly drool, just like zombies.
6. After being with a toddler all day, I sometimes feel my brains have been eaten.
Quote from: Paquita on July 10, 2010, 11:05:26 AM
6. After being with a toddler all day, I sometimes feel my brains have been eaten.
:thumbup: :cheers: :bouncegiggle:
7. Zombies and toddlers refuse to be ignored when they're active/awake.
8. When you find one asleep, you don't dare wake it. But somebody WILL
9. IF you do wake it (which is almost inevitable), you'll spend a good bit of time going through all sorts of efforts in order to escape the consequences.
10. They are active at night, mainly, and prevent you from getting a moments' rest until you are dead on your feet.
11. Attempts to reason with them are met with incomprehending stares.
12. Your clothing takes a beating - and shows it.
13. You can stop them both with a shotgun blast to the head! ... or so I've heard. ... don't look at me like that. I couldn't be the only person thinking it. :twirl:
Hmm perhaps this explains why I generally avoid toddlers like the plague...but mostly I think it's because most of them can wail like a banshee.
I think I'm going to dress my toddler up as a zombie next Halloween.
Zombies emit powerful, toxic, paralyzing odors (breath).
Toddlers emit powerful, toxic, paralyzing odors (other end).
Toddlers also cause massive amounts of damage to your personal property, just like zombies!
16. You can tell a true warrior by how they are walking around with stains on their shirt.
(Not to mention the crazed look in their eyes and the 'interesting' hair)
My niece and nephew who are almost twins in age, refer to me as Uncle Zombie. I like it. :teddyr:
17. Toddlers can not be reasoned with, much like Zombies. :question:
18. Toddlers can get very picky on the meals that they want, much like Zombies. :teddyr:
19. Toddlers will come at you with a very funny and disturbing run, much like Zombies. :bouncegiggle:
20. Toddlers can really be antagonists when things are calm, much like Zombies. :hatred:
21. Toddlers can go from very very very sedate to attack mode, much like Zombies. :buggedout:
I will add more.
Later,
John
:cheers:
Wow, there are so many ways in which toddlers are like zombies :cheers:. My son keeps reminding me of more, my wife was holding him today and all of a sudden started screaming and yelling "We do not bite people!". She put him down and he immediately gave her a great big hug and cute eyes so she couldn't stay mad. I also reminded him "Mommy is not food", this kid picks at his meals yet figures our shoulders for filet mignon?
22. Zombie attacks come and go quickly, toddler attacks come and go quickly. When it is all done you are left wondering how long you have before another one comes.
I'm starting to wonder if they make muzzles ala "silence of the lambs" for kids? :wink: