I love most movies out there but we all know that there are a few out there that should have never been concieved.
So just put what you believe is a movie you have ssen that should have NEVER existed.
1:KAZAAM (need i say more) :twirl:
Scream (1983). Idiotic, confused and boring.
Midnight (1981). Read my review for the reasons.
The Conqueror (1956). Everyone involved would have lived longer without it.
Body of Evidence
A Veritable grocery list of the most worn out cliches & plot contrivances ever assembled. Of course, it wasn't so much about the story, as it was about Madonna trying to pass off her sexuality as serious acting (No, Really!). Unfortunately, for me at least, she was already starting to show her age pretty bad.
Mama Mia!
I was ready to puncture my ear drums to make the horrible music stop when my wife roped me into watch it.
Steel Magnolias
Another PITA film that my wife watches constantly. The only decent scene is when Julia Roberts dies.
Scarlet Fry's Juckfood Horrorfest
I got this in a 50 pack from Amazon and have yet to figure out WTH it is other than a collection of poorly shot student films.
Quote from: retrorussell on September 07, 2010, 01:23:54 AM
The Conqueror (1956). Everyone involved would have lived longer without it.
That is literally and very sadly very, very true.
David Lynch's DUNE. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen (but it is one of the worst mainstream movies I've ever seen). However, it is the worst theater-going experience I can remember. I was pleading with God to make that movie end after the first 20 minutes.
Quote from: The Burgomaster on September 07, 2010, 05:54:47 AM
David Lynch's DUNE. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen (but it is one of the worst mainstream movies I've ever seen). However, it is the worst theater-going experience I can remember. I was pleading with God to make that movie end after the first 20 minutes.
I imagine that if you watched the directors cut, which apparently is almost three hours long, you may well have gouged out your eyes by film's end.
[I actually like Dune, funnily enough, but still...]
The Legend of the Titanic and In Search of the Titanic pretty are the best examples of this. Why do these two movies exist? Who wanted to see them? What dumbass thought these would be something little kids would want to watch? Who even came up with the idea behind these movies?!
The Core. Amazingly bad. I also wish I haven't seen it 4 times. Hate me some Swank.
Quote from: dean on September 07, 2010, 06:09:01 AM
Quote from: The Burgomaster on September 07, 2010, 05:54:47 AM
David Lynch's DUNE. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen (but it is one of the worst mainstream movies I've ever seen). However, it is the worst theater-going experience I can remember. I was pleading with God to make that movie end after the first 20 minutes.
I imagine that if you watched the directors cut, which apparently is almost three hours long, you may well have gouged out your eyes by film's end.
[I actually like Dune, funnily enough, but still...]
No, I saw it during it's original theatrical run so I don't think it was the director's cut (but it might have been). It was long, but I don't think it was 3 hours. It only FELT like 3 hours!
The Twilight Zone movie - not that it's a bad movie in and of itself, but Vic Morrow and those two kids would probably still be around if it hadn't been made.
Saw - again, not so bad by itself but the sequels and the whole crappy subgenre it spawned pretty much cancel out any of its good points.
I'll second Infogeek's hate on those Titanic cartoons. They're just amazing in their wrongness.
I Was A 41 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It. Worst. Movie. Ever :thumbdown:
There was this wonderful movie once called The Matrix. It had this real good ending which left you thinking that Neo may indeed save humanity from being slaves to the machine. It was full of groundbreaking and stunning visual effects and had a truly novel plot concept. All of this negated Keanu Reeves "acting" which if you watch closely you will notice that despite being the main hero he actually has very few spoken lines and doesn't have much more demanded of his acting talent than to lean backwords and let movie magic do the rest. This is an excellent way to handle Ted, no wait, I mean Neo...
The movies which should have never existed however are these two movies which happen to have the same actors and directors but follow a horrible alternate parrallel storyline in which Neo simply saves the Matrix and the handful of survivors of Zion by forging a temporary (lasts all of the few minutes it takes him to fight Mr. Smith) alliance thus making the entire storyline pointless. What is this a TV episode, do you want to make a 4th matrix starting this basic storyline all over again? Why are you saving the matrix? Why not have Neo fly in there blind as a bat and kick the entire machine city ass, that would be a good ending not a pointless weak ending. No, the Matrix ends with the first movie! They never made a sequel and they sure as hell didn't kill the entire series by making .... I don't care if they call it Matrix II or III I refuse to accept that these are of the same storyline! :hatred: These movies should have never been made, the first stands alone
Three more films to add to this list are Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Meet The Spartans. All three of these were billed as comedies because there is no stupid film category to place these in. Again, films my wife had me waste time in my life to watch. I think I would find more humor by nailing my genitals to a heavy wooden table and trying to run the opposite direction that was in all three of these films combined. As painful as these film were to watch, I would be in less pain if I had done that instead.
Quote from: meQal on September 08, 2010, 02:32:52 AM
Three more films to add to this list are Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Meet The Spartans. All three of these were billed as comedies because there is no stupid film category to place these in. Again, films my wife had me waste time in my life to watch. I think I would find more humor by nailing my genitals to a heavy wooden table and trying to run the opposite direction that was in all three of these films combined. As painful as these film were to watch, I would be in less pain if I had done that instead.
Ah yes, great choices. However, what's your thoughts on the newest masterpiece, Vampires Suck?
Quote from: InformationGeek on September 08, 2010, 07:54:45 AM
Quote from: meQal on September 08, 2010, 02:32:52 AM
Three more films to add to this list are Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Meet The Spartans. All three of these were billed as comedies because there is no stupid film category to place these in. Again, films my wife had me waste time in my life to watch. I think I would find more humor by nailing my genitals to a heavy wooden table and trying to run the opposite direction that was in all three of these films combined. As painful as these film were to watch, I would be in less pain if I had done that instead.
Ah yes, great choices. However, what's your thoughts on the newest masterpiece, Vampires Suck?
There are some good examples given in this thread, but I have to agree, these movies are the worst of the lot, and have absolutely no redeeming values of any kind. If they were just really bad low-crow comedies, that would be something, but they don't even manage to be that. Truly worthless.
Quote from: InformationGeek on September 08, 2010, 07:54:45 AM
Quote from: meQal on September 08, 2010, 02:32:52 AM
Three more films to add to this list are Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Meet The Spartans. All three of these were billed as comedies because there is no stupid film category to place these in. Again, films my wife had me waste time in my life to watch. I think I would find more humor by nailing my genitals to a heavy wooden table and trying to run the opposite direction that was in all three of these films combined. As painful as these film were to watch, I would be in less pain if I had done that instead.
Ah yes, great choices. However, what's your thoughts on the newest masterpiece, Vampires Suck?
The film itself has it's own review written in the title.
heres a good one
White Chicks
the wayans brothers are fbi agents that dress up like white chicks, sounds good right. wrong. who in their right mind would belive that they were the sisters they were supposed to be. the masks are god awful they look fake and plastic but everone thinks its them. come on for real
i actually cant belive that i sat through the whole thing and i just looked up how much the movie actually made and i almost CRAPPED myself!!!
Cop And a Half. My soul, what was left of it, wanted to reach out and strangle me for watching it.
Original Sin with Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas was so awful that it made me forget my toothache.
Quote from: Hammock Rider on September 09, 2010, 12:27:05 PM
Original Sin with Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas was so awful that it made me forget my toothache.
If it made you forget your toothache, why would you wish it had never existed?
Kill Bill
Popeye (1980)
Tank Girl
All three nearly reduced me to tears and I raised my hands to the heavens and demanded, Why? Why was this movie allowed to exist? Popeye, especially, made me feel as though part of my soul had just died.
Alien Resurrection and Bean made me groan and bury my head in my hands at the theater.
Quote from: akiratubo on September 09, 2010, 07:05:31 PM
Kill Bill
Popeye (1980)
Tank Girl
All three nearly reduced me to tears and I raised my hands to the heavens and demanded, Why? Why was this movie allowed to exist? Popeye, especially, made me feel as though part of my soul had just died.
I've seen Popeye and Tank Girl. I have to agree they are both horrible. The only redeeming thing about Tank Girl is Naomi Watts is in it. However even that is not enough to save the film from being a POS. As for Popeye, it made me want to pop my eyes out with a grapefruit spoon and pour acid in the empty sockets in hopes of burning the images out of my brain.
Friday The 13th: Jason Goes To Hell was really, really stupid. I thought part V was pretty dumb but this was inredibly torturous to sit through. Hey Jason! Take MY life, please! Yo, over here!
Monster A GO go- WHy? :bluesad: why does this POS Even made it pass the editor's board?
Sorority House Vampires From Hell
Kiss The Girls
Memorial Day
Harvest Of Fear
Bloodfist 2
ThIs List Could Take A While So These Are Just A Few
Another really awful one was Drive-In Massacre. With a title like that you'd think it would be halfway decent. Ohhhh no. The ending was the biggest insult I'd ever seen, and I'm sure the audience back in the day felt exactly the same way.
Point of No Return - Le Femme Nikita DID NOT need to be Americanized... Especially in a fashion so banal. :hatred:
Falling down - The whole John List angle was just plain pretentious. Add to that, it's pretty obvious who & what this guy is, but the film pretends that it can't decide whether he's evil, or just angry, & likewise for the evil people & innocent bystanders he encounters. The movie can't decide whether it's an action flick, dark comedy, or social commentary, but definitely fails at all three, making it one of the most indecisive productions I've ever seen. It's like the writers got a Swiss Army Knife & tried to us all fourteen blades at the same time.
"Original Sin with Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas was so awful that it made me forget my toothache."
I remember going to this one with high hopes. A-list stars, catchy title, good trailers.... my mistake. Proof that anything can be ruined by a story line that drags to death and then just gently lifts its head at the ending long enough to be put out of its misery. Nearly fell asleep at this thing. Few others to add:
For love of the game - I have mentioned my disdain for this one in other posts. It's claim to fame was Kevin Costner crying... in the movie he is supposed to be crying about some girl he is in love with but I suspect he was actually crying over the downhill trend of his career on this one.
Eight legged freaks - I actually wasted $9.50 to see this in theatres. I suspect that's how much money they spent making it as well.
for me its actualy a movie thats been reviewd on this site
"the forbiden zone",I kno a lot of people on here like that movie but i cant stand it, its stupid, it makes no sence, and its just unwatchable for me.
also kazam
epic movie, and all those stupid parody movies never shouldve been made either.
Quote from: retrorussell on September 13, 2010, 09:20:13 PM
Another really awful one was Drive-In Massacre. With a title like that you'd think it would be halfway decent. Ohhhh no. The ending was the biggest insult I'd ever seen, and I'm sure the audience back in the day felt exactly the same way.
That movie was painfully slow. english patient slow, and at least there was some pretty cinematography in that to get you by. but noo that screechy dark thing just went on forever.....
Quote from: meQal on September 10, 2010, 05:46:59 AM
Quote from: akiratubo on September 09, 2010, 07:05:31 PM
Kill Bill
Popeye (1980)
Tank Girl
All three nearly reduced me to tears and I raised my hands to the heavens and demanded, Why? Why was this movie allowed to exist? Popeye, especially, made me feel as though part of my soul had just died.
I've seen Popeye and Tank Girl. I have to agree they are both horrible. The only redeeming thing about Tank Girl is Naomi Watts is in it. However even that is not enough to save the film from being a POS. As for Popeye, it made me want to pop my eyes out with a grapefruit spoon and pour acid in the empty sockets in hopes of burning the images out of my brain.
Popeye was pretty incoherent, what the hell we're they singing?
Nightmare Weekend (1986) was mind-bendingly awful (in a BAD way).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7TQa4ShFe0
It goes without saying but... All things Twilight.
Quote from: Bull on September 10, 2010, 10:52:55 PM
Monster A GO go- WHy? :bluesad: why does this POS Even made it pass the editor's board?
,
As terrible as that movie was, anything that's resulted in an MST3K episode isn't completely without merit.
Naked Massacre (1976), and Snuff (1976), both are pretty apalling in that they try to glamorize/cash in on real life mass murderers (Richard Speck and the Manson family, respectively). Movies like that tend to angry up my blood.
I have to go with Twilight as well. It did give a few good laughs but most of it was awkward and painful.