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Other Topics => Off Topic Discussion => Topic started by: Trevor on October 03, 2010, 10:54:41 AM

Title: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Trevor on October 03, 2010, 10:54:41 AM
My adopted brother bought me a HDMI DVD player for my birthday - a region free one, no less. What made me LMAO about it are some of the instructions in the booklet:

DO NOT TOUCH THE PLAYER WHEN THUNDERING, AVOID BEING THUNDERED.
BE CAREFUL THE NEGLECTING WILL HARM THE PEOPLE, VITALLY EVEN.
SUBTITLES: THE WORDINGS SHOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TV.
:bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: indianasmith on October 03, 2010, 01:07:02 PM
On a Korean kitchen knife:

WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN

On a Swedish Chainsaw:

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH BARE HANDS

This sort of stuff always cracks me up.  www.engrish.com is a great place to find stuff in this vein.
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Umaril The Unfeathered on October 03, 2010, 02:25:23 PM
That's almost as bad as the Turkish poster for the movie Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind that got translated as "Invisible Lunatic" in their language. I read about this one a few years back.   :bouncegiggle:
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Flick James on October 04, 2010, 09:30:40 AM
PLACE ONE LEG INTO EACH OF THE TWO HOLES OF THE UNDERPANTS. PULL UNDERPANTS GENTLY UPWARDS UNTIL THEY STOP.
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Trevor on October 04, 2010, 11:28:01 AM
Quote from: Flick James on October 04, 2010, 09:30:40 AM
PLACE ONE LEG INTO EACH OF THE TWO HOLES OF THE UNDERPANTS. PULL UNDERPANTS GENTLY UPWARDS UNTIL THEY STOP.
:bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: indianasmith on October 04, 2010, 06:38:33 PM
On an electric blender:

NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE


On a set of Christmas lights made in China:

FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Umaril The Unfeathered on October 04, 2010, 07:56:11 PM
Quote from: Flick James on October 04, 2010, 09:30:40 AM
PLACE ONE LEG INTO EACH OF THE TWO HOLES OF THE UNDERPANTS. PULL UNDERPANTS GENTLY UPWARDS UNTIL THEY STOP.

You mean to tell me, that I've been putting them on wrong for years now?
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Umaril The Unfeathered on October 04, 2010, 08:11:40 PM
Here's a few I've found myself...

http://www.engrish.com/2009/11/


"THIS IS BATMAN, HE WILL CATCH ALL BADDY!"

Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Trevor on October 04, 2010, 11:34:59 PM
Quote from: Umaril The Unfeathered on October 04, 2010, 07:56:11 PM
Quote from: Flick James on October 04, 2010, 09:30:40 AM
PLACE ONE LEG INTO EACH OF THE TWO HOLES OF THE UNDERPANTS. PULL UNDERPANTS GENTLY UPWARDS UNTIL THEY STOP.

You mean to tell me, that I've been putting them on wrong for years now?

That's the conclusion that I came to as well.  :wink:
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Joe the Destroyer on October 05, 2010, 12:50:10 AM
Some more from Engrish.com

On a shredder:

PLEASE KEEP CHILDREN OUT OF SHREDDER
PLEASE DON'T SPAY ANY FLAMMABLE GAS OR OIL ON THIS SHREDDER, IT MAY CAUSE A FAIR.
IF THERE IS A SMOKE OR ANY ABNORMAL SMELL HAPPEN ON THE SHREDDER, PLEASE STOP USING IT AND CUT OFF THE SHREDDER.

Also:

Do not swallow Batteries or it could make you seriously hurt blood stream, or could make your mind damaged.

Not instructions, but very  :buggedout: nonetheless:

(http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2009/09/skipping-rape.jpg)
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Umaril The Unfeathered on October 05, 2010, 04:08:23 AM
Quote from: Joe the Destroyer on October 05, 2010, 12:50:10 AM
Do not swallow Batteries or it could make you seriously hurt blood stream, or could make your mind damaged.

Yes, acid will do that to you, be it from the local drug dealer or a battery. No to mention how it seriously hurt blood stream.  :bouncegiggle:

Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Flick James on October 05, 2010, 01:47:48 PM
Quote from: indianasmith on October 04, 2010, 06:38:33 PM
On an electric blender:

NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE


On a set of Christmas lights made in China:

FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY

Well, they have to do that to prevent people from trying to use them UNDERWATER.

:bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: Umaril The Unfeathered on October 05, 2010, 08:45:21 PM
Quote from: Flick James on October 05, 2010, 01:47:48 PM
Quote from: indianasmith on October 04, 2010, 06:38:33 PM
On an electric blender:

NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE


On a set of Christmas lights made in China:

FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY

LMAO...

Well, they have to do that to prevent people from trying to use them UNDERWATER.

:bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
Title: Re: Weird operating instructions
Post by: The Gravekeeper on October 06, 2010, 10:20:01 AM
From a chainsaw: DO NOT STOP WITH HAND OR GENITALS.