The idea for this thread is to post fortunes that might be found inside of a fortune cookie in a bad movie. They can either be a quote from the film, or something that could be helpful to a character in the movie.
The first fortune is from "Eegah!" and it reads:
"Watch out for snakes."
War of the Worlds cookie:
'Relax, Tom, you'll be just fine'
Quantum of Solace cookie:
'No, I don't understand whats going on either'
Manos:
"It'll be dark soon"
"Men will look up to you."
Fortune cookie for THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN
(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/AmazingColMan40.jpg)
Quote from: Raffine on November 14, 2010, 09:59:02 PM
"Men will look up to you."
Fortune cookie for THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN
(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/AmazingColMan40.jpg)
Well done, sir!
Thank you, sir!
There's a line in JAWS 2 that would have made a great fortune cookie for Mrs. Brody in JAWS: THE REVENGE:
"Sharks don't take things personally"
Poltergeist: "Stay away from the light."
Wizard of Oz: "Follow the yellow brick road."
The Godfather: "Don't ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever."
Bikini Island: "Avoid Plungers"
Adventures in Babysitting: "Let Brenda find her own ride home."
BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA, Sammy's cookie (as near to the beginning of the movie as possible):
"Wake Up. Now."
How about a classic?
"You will meet a tall, dark stranger."
KING KONG
"A reunion with old friends is closer than you think!"
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
The rest of these I took from a fortune cookie site (http://www.chinese-fortune-cookie.com/fortune-cookie-sayings.html) and matched up movies to them.
"Your flair for the creative takes an important place in your life."
THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES
"Trust your intuition, the universe is guiding your life."
A SERIOUS MAN
"A secret admirer will soon send you a sign of affection."
MISERY
Probably a bit obtuse, but...
"Smiling often can make you look and feel younger."
OLDBOY
Troll 2
"Don't p**s on hospitality!"
Horror of Dracula: "Confucius says: when faced with two sleeping vampires, stake the more powerful one first."
Freaky Friday:
(http://marypopkens.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/freaky-friday-7.jpg)
"A journey soon begins. Its prize reflected in another's eyes. When what you see is what you lack. And so will this luck will change you back"
The Room
"Say Hi to Mark"
Troll 2: Dont drink the milk.
Ice Pirates: Lom se se eunuchy snip snip!
Attack From Mars: Looks like its another night of boppin' my own baloney.
Four quotes and one something helpful. The quotes first.
"It's spring. Here's to the first swallow."
"My, you are a fine growing boy."
"Fancy a game."
"Oh, I see you have been a good girl."
And now the something helpful.
"You will meet a tall dark stranger. She will put the bite on you. This will make you very unhappy."
"Lair of the White Worm"
Hobgoblins: For the love of God, don't fantasize about anything!
The Toxic Avenger: You will go through some dramatic changes that will benefit you and your society.
Ghoulies: I woulndn't go in the basement if I were you.
Return of the Killer Tomatoes: Your new love may not exactly be what you think she is.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space: If you're afraid of clowns, I've got bad news for you...
from Monster A Go Go
"Suddenly there was no trail. There was no giant, no monster, no thing called Douglas to be followed."
MARS NEEDS WOMEN : "You will need lots of tampons for the trip home."
THE GIANT CLAW : "Stock up on applejack."
THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS: "plan for rabbit stew"
PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE: "In the future, prepare for the FUTURE!"
THE BLOB: "Move to the north pole."
CASTLE OF THE VAMPIRES: "Call in an air strike with bunker busters."
OCTOPUS: "Shoot the evil guy, you wuss!"
WHEN A STRANGER CALLS: "Hang up, and break out the .45"
ROBOT MONSTER: "it's all a dream."
AIRPLANE! : "Don't call anyone Shirley."
NOTHING IS OUT THERE : "Trust Mike, for he knows all."
THE SLIME PEOPLE : "sharp hollow tubes are in your future." ..."Sorry, FUTURE!"
THEM! : "NEVER take off your flamethrower."
THE APE MAN : "Shoot the weird guy, he is the scripwriter."
"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. "
..........Dr Giggles.
and
"The mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. "
.............Machete
Star Wars:
Luke's cookie in the Cantina: "You will find a deeper love for a Family member."
The Ewoks: "A golden shine is not always divine. Be careful with new friends."
Deliverance: "Pretty lips do not a lover make."
Network: "Your anger can be positive when it is used to motivate others to do right."
KING KONG: "A large hair guy is in your future."
GODZILLA: "Buy lead underware."
DESTROY ALL MONSTERS: "Do NOT move to Japan!"
THE VALLY OF GWANGI: "Never confuse blanks with real ammo."
Nightmare On Elm Street 2: You will suffer much hardship in your new home.
It's Alive: Children can be ferocious, yours will be no different.
The People That Time Forgot: Your cavewoman fetish shall be fulfilled today.
Ghoulies II: Check the inside of your vehicle for once. There could be unwanted stowaways inside.
Carnosaur: You will never look at a chicken the same way again.
Friday the 13th part VI: You better desecrate your opponent's grave on a better night.
Halloween III: You're going to be in for one hell of a surprise this halloween.
The Fly II: Surprise! You're in an inferior sequel!
Howling II: I strongly recommend that you don't get too close with a relative.
Freddy vs Jason: You will witness the most epic battle of the century.
Quote from: diamondwaspvenom on December 17, 2010, 08:54:20 AM
Friday the 13th part VI: You better desecrate your opponent's grave on a better night.
If I can tweak this just a little, because it's a fun one:
"Tonight is not the night for desecrating a grave."
I would love to find a fortune cookie like that!
"Brewsters Millions" - Today is a good day to make financial decisions.
"Memento" - Learn from your past to change your future.
"Jurassic Park" - Some things in life are larger than they appear.
Hell Night:
Avoid initiations involving a mansion owned by supposedly deceased murderers.
~or~
There will be a dead chick in your bed, and the world will go mad.
Dead Alive:
Kicking @$$ for the Lord will not necessarily guarantee your survival.
That aint gold in them there hills- The Hills Have Eyes