Alright I'm starting at exactly 6:00 pm. The movie is ThanksKilling. A movie about a homicidal demon turkey. Right up your alley. I'll update my thoughts on this piece of 1-star crap every time I notice something.
SHOW TIME!
I was about to ask, 6:00 in what time zone? :teddyr:
Did you know 1621 was the olden days? The movie sure needed to remind me!
Quote from: Rev. Powell on March 11, 2011, 07:00:49 PM
I was about to ask, 6:00 in what time zone? :teddyr:
Central. It's RIGHT now!
RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!!!
I can do it too!
Women in the 1600's had breast implants apparently...
People tripping while getting chased count: 1
The turkey just said "Nice tits, b***h!"
I'm going to be here a while. Also it's the worst prop turkey EVER!
Where did they buy it? A dollar store?
Turkeys can hold axes apparently.
Yeah, it's all coming back to me now... :bouncegiggle:
I don't recognize any of the cast or crew. Also these credits are WAY too long. These should be at the end of the film.
WHY IS SPRING BREAK IN NOVEMBER?!
Generic nerd stereo type. He's going to die. Guarantee.
The redneck just made a poor taste penis joke. I hope they all get eaten by the f**king turkey.
Everyone is a high school niche stereo type. None of them can act either.
The exposition is rushed and they never stop monologing about their life.
Bad acting, writing, and film editing in ONE scene!
This movie hurts.
The slutty girl claims to be a prude.
All women are stupid in this film. That's not sexist what so ever.
The camera guy is having a seizure.
Where the hell did they buy that fake mustache for the sheriff? Also that REALLY bad hat. It's completely unconvincing. Also he's such a generic stero-
...Right... Get used to that.
"Oh by the way. Your step-mama left me, bye!"
That's not important at all is it?
Broken car engine count: 1
"How bad is it?"
The hood is smoking! How bad do you think it is?!
"Maybe it's a flat tire?"
Why are they going out of their way to make these people as unrealistically STUPID as possible?!
"Crawberg! Where have I heard that name before?"
IT'S GOBLIN SPELLED BACK-!!
Oops! Wrong movie!
OH GOD?! WHO DREW THIS s**t?! HER TITS ARE BLACK AND SAGGY!
AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!
You forgot to draw nipples on the hot one with big boobs. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!
Sounds like I should see this movie . . . . or NOT!
I bet you didn't know that "Turkeyoligist" is a job!
Why is the jock scared over a ridiculous story about a homicidal turkey?
People can apparently move their heads fast enough to make a "SWOOOOSH!" noise.
Killer Turkey: "Your dog was in an accident."
Some Hermit: "What kind of accident?"
You know that's a talking turkey right?
"I AXEcidently cut him! MUAHAHA!!"
(http://estergoldberg.typepad.com/.a/6a0105349ca980970c01156f18a480970c-320wi)
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Turkeys can only see in pink.
Bet you didn't know that!
Who wrote the turkey's dialogue? Really?
"You're almost as dumb as I am!"
Now she openly admits she's dumb? Who wrote this?
Quote from: A.J. Bauer on March 11, 2011, 07:09:34 PM
Generic nerd stereo type. He's going to die. Guarantee.
maybe they can save the glasses.
I found 1,000,000 problems in ONE scene!
1. That's an obviously fake bunny
2. Who threw it in a fire?
3. "Oh look! A cute little bunny!" - IT JUMPED IN THE FIRE! HELP IT, b***h!
4. "Look at it! It's stomach was gnawed open by a beak!" - How can you tell? It's burning in a fire!
5. "Not just any beak! A TURKEY BEAK!" - HOW CAN YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE?!
"This happens ALL The time in the woods!"
A bunny gets thrown into a fire place?
OH MY! I HAVE to see this movie now!
Turkey droppings look like brown marshmallows. Bet you didn't know that!
"I'm sorry 'bout the things I said last night. I was a little BEAKED out... I MEAN FREAKED OUT!"
Do I need to do the CSI: Miami joke again?
Once again somebody doesn't question the talking turkey. He just wants to f**k it.
Turkeys have legs long enough to hit the pedals of a car and steer! BET YOU DIDN'T-
Oh forget it!
RANDOM FART NOISE!
In under 4 seconds a turkey can cut off your head with a fruit knife and somehow steal a cigar from your severed head that went flying.
Also they made the father go from "Son I am disappoint!" to "I'm so proud!" in a few minutes. Seconds before his death.
This is the most rushed plot EVER!
HIS PARENTS JUST GOT MURDERED BY A TALKING TURKEY AND HE'S CRYING BECAUSE HE DOESN'T GET ANY PUMPKIN PIE OR CRANBERRY SAUCE!
At least his priorities are straight!
You won't believe this! ALL of the actors are worse than Tommy Wiseau!
She's getting f**ked by a turkey and she can't even tell that's not a human in her vag.
"You just got STUFFED!".....Screw it! I'm doing it again!
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
[/i][/b]
Gravy flavored condoms? I could make MILLIONS off that idea!
(http://366weirdmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/thankskilling.jpg)
Quote from: Rev. Powell on March 11, 2011, 08:01:04 PM
(http://366weirdmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/thankskilling.jpg)
I can't wait for THAT scene!
Never mind! Just found that scene.
The turkey is wearing a nose and mustache glasses disguise. I don't think I'm watching a movie. I think I'm high.
Quote from: A.J. Bauer on March 11, 2011, 08:01:33 PM
Quote from: Rev. Powell on March 11, 2011, 08:01:04 PM
(http://366weirdmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/thankskilling.jpg)
I can't wait for THAT scene!
Sorry, didn't mean to post a spoiler. I thought that scene had passed already, my bad.
So, has blood freak been dethroned as worst film about a turkey killer?
He can't tell it's a turkey?! This is a new record for stupid.
He also doesn't have a problem with the fact that the turkey just said he's hundreds of years old.
Oh! You see? He wasn't suspicious of the talking turkey! He thought it was a talking duck! No problem at all!
He made a mask out of the sheriff's face and wore it! AND HIS DAUGHTER FELL FOR IT!!
HOW IS EVERYBODY THIS STUPID?!
MOOOOOONNNNNTTTTAAAAAAUUUUGGGGGEEEEEE~!!
Half the book is in English. The rest of it in mathematical code. Why? Look movie, you ARE NOT the Da Vinci Code! Stop trying!
"You kids are retarded!"
THANK YOU!!
"PREPARE TO BE DEAD!!"
I'm going to put that on a T-Shirt!
Necromanced is not a past-tense verb.
Why did the redneck leave alone with a killer turkey around?
The redneck ate the turkey and exploded. That was awesome.
"Gobble-Gobble, Mother f**ker! That's what I call FOWL PLAY!"
I just made that joke twice. No more CSI!
I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING! This movie is SOOO FUNNY!
I can't even point out how many problems are in this scene. Watch it yourself. This movie is quite clearly bad on purpose.
Hmmm.. The homicidal turkey enjoys tossed salad. How very random. I guess we all have our little quirks. Even hell spawn.
Who is turning the lights on and off?
"Yup he's dead!"
Umm... The turkey is still moving.
And the turkey comes back to life via heavy radiation to his corpse. It's like an old monster movie! This is delightful!
Oh! The nerd died by getting his tongue stretched out like gum! That was the funniest thing ever!
And his heart beats outside his chest. AND HE'S STILL ALIVE!
Boyfriend is dead now. KILL THE GIRL! PLEASE! Come full circle!
APPEASE ME WITH BLOOD!!
DAMN! The girl lives!
The Turkey was lit on fire and got his head cut off.
Thanks for ripping off Freddy Vs. Jason.
Good things there was a pile of wood for his head to fall into!
"Ha! DO I SMELL A SEQUEL?!"
No you don't.
Well that was amusing. I'm sure it wasn't meant to be good but, hell what ever. It was funny.
Thanks for reading!
Great job man. Well done!
Very entertaining! My only suggestion would be that you might want to just time index you comments and put them all in one long post . . . it would be a lot easier to read. At the same time, this format was very cool to do once. I don't think I would like for every review to be written this way.
I wonder if we should do this as a team, all watching the same movie at the same time.
It would turn into chaos. :teddyr:
Quote from: Rev. Powell on March 12, 2011, 04:48:45 PM
I wonder if we should do this as a team, all watching the same movie at the same time.
It would turn into chaos. :teddyr:
That would be so awesome!!! If there would be any reason to have an IRC channel, it would be for that. :thumbup:
gotta agree. that be a perfect use of an IRC chat.
Fantastic idea! I would love to do a synchronized viewing of a bad film on Netflix. I'll take this idea into consideration.
I want in! I want in! :teddyr:
I do'nt have Net Flix. :(
Quote from: bob on March 14, 2011, 02:03:51 PM
I do'nt have Net Flix. :(
We don't necessarily have to use Netflix to watch the movie. Just a DVD or the like could work too. We'd all just have to start it at the same time (that's why an IRC channel could come in handy for this).
At the risk of sounding stupid what's an IRC channel ?
Quote from: bob on March 14, 2011, 06:39:49 PM
At the risk of sounding stupid what's an IRC channel ?
It's a type of chat relay that is free. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IRC (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IRC)
Quote from: A.J. Bauer on March 11, 2011, 07:02:35 PM
RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!!!
I can do it too!
It's supposed to be Green though. :)
Quote from: indianasmith on March 12, 2011, 12:49:43 AM
Very entertaining! My only suggestion would be that you might want to just time index you comments and put them all in one long post . . . it would be a lot easier to read. At the same time, this format was very cool to do once. I don't think I would like for every review to be written this way.
I agree, especially when you're not actually watching the film.
Quote from: Rev. Powell on March 12, 2011, 04:48:45 PM
I wonder if we should do this as a team, all watching the same movie at the same time.
It would turn into chaos. :teddyr:
Count me in. :thumbup:
We could all watch a film at the same time and post in the same thread. Make sure we all have the right time zone starting point.
I found THANKSKILLING to be very enjoyable. I mostly don't like it when movies try to be intentionally bad, but this one was very funny. It was hard not to like, it has the same spirit as MOTORHOME MASSACRE. There were parts of that movie that were meant to be funny on purpose, but there was alot of genuine bad film making going on to laugh at too. Unlike that movie, THANKSKILLING is not badly made for a no-budget movie. But they both share a common love for bad b-movies. THANKSKILLING put the jokes in right places, so they did come across as good parody. This is a rare feat that doesn't happen very often. The killer turkey is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. It ranks right up there with THE CRAWLING EYE and THE GIANT CLAW. I loved everything about it.