A high falutin title to a very hard question-I think Im losing it. I do dumb s**t. I talk to myself constantly.I actually talk to the f**king walls.If not for this forum-I would be a basket case. I DID talk with my brother Richie yesterday (ona phone-he lives in NYC). cant stand this much longer. I think Im going crazy.
I love you guys.Yer my life line.
I tried to remove this posr-it wont let me.
so im stuck with it
I shouldnt put my demons on line.
Sorry-ignore this
No need to apologise or ignore this thread.
This is why we are here for,to listen and if needed to help each other.
I quite often lose my head and to be honest with you if it was not for my family i would be decorating my walls with my head.
I wish i could spend some time with you and go visit all those places you enjoy,i wish i could visit your home and go through your collection of magazines and artwork.I wish a lot of things that realistically cannot happen.All i know is that you are a very talented articulate person and you have many friends on this site.I am sure many people on this site has given you this same option but anytime you wanna talk and get things off your chest then email me and i will do my best for you.Plus since you are a massive Lugosi fan and i am a massive Karloff fan i still want that game of chess with you.We can always locate a site with chess on it we just need to sort out the time difference.
Words of comfort are nice but no real solution. In the end its you who has to face your own problems, and if you can't do it on your own I suggest professional help.
Based on your posts it appears to me that you are still living very much in the past. What worked for me: Learn to let go, try to move on, try to make changes. Breaking out of the old routine is the first step. Only you can make it happen, but only if you are willing to do so.
Ah. I wish I could play chess with someone. I do love you guys.
Claws-professional help is not an option.
#1-It costs money.
#2-Psycho docs are a***oles.
#3-yer right. Im living in the past. My present sucks. If I came into the present-I might hurt somebody. I dont like it-but its safe.
Find something to take you out of yourself . . . an activity that requires a fair amount of concentration and/or physical effort. The endorphins will help restore some mental balance.
For me, it's looking for arrowheads. I spent all day yesterday walking gravel bars, and I'm a bit sore today, but I am also relaxed and centered. Not saying that would work for you, but there is something that will if you can find it. Bicycling, karate, basketball, you name it - figure out something you like to do, that doesn't cost a lot, and get out there and do it! You'll be amazed how much it improves your outlook.
And remember, we all love ya, Bela!
Thanx Indy. I talked to Circus this morn...it heloed alot. Ill go mushromm hunting.
Imma p***y. I do need to get out.I need.to.get.out.
A lot of my friends love going after the Morels this time of year. I've never had them, but I hear they are really delicious! This is my therapy right here:
(http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h288/Indianasmith/IndysThirdAlbum/14May11NSR022.jpg)
(http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h288/Indianasmith/IndysThirdAlbum/14May11NSR020.jpg)
(http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h288/Indianasmith/IndysThirdAlbum/14May11NSR024.jpg)
(http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h288/Indianasmith/IndysThirdAlbum/14May11NSR023.jpg)
Hang in there, RC. I would also suggest that you should go outside, and find something to do.
You can do, buddy.
Hang there man. What usually keeps me from going insane are my videogames, movies, hanging out with friends, and going for long walks if the wheather allows for it. Those walks really give me the chance to clear my head and get some excercise.
I also recommend the walks but mainly try and go for scenic routes. I totally agree they help clear your head but only if it's a quiet area for me. Definitely get out there and live some more...go to music shows, movies, restaurants, whatever and if you can't do it on your own or don't feel up to it, watching movies at home and playing videogames is a great pasttime. During my younger, lonelier years, I watched plenty of films (actually I love old quirky romantic comedies to this day but that was the time I first came to love them), comedies/films that make you laugh and feel good are also recommended. Just talking and hanging out with like-minded friends is good too...
Quote from: RCMerchant on May 15, 2011, 04:15:41 AM
A high falutin title to a very hard question-I think Im losing it. I do dumb s**t. I talk to myself constantly.I actually talk to the f**king walls.If not for this forum-I would be a basket case. I DID talk with my brother Richie yesterday (ona phone-he lives in NYC). cant stand this much longer. I think Im going crazy.
RC, I am right there with you. Personally I'd get help myself but for the reasons you mentioned, I haven't.
Frankly, I've gotten to points where I try to forget it or numb myself by getting drunk or incredibly high. I can't take it sometimes.
I try to find things to do. Videogames, go get some comics, art, visit my younger cousins, go for a run/walk. Things like that can take my mind off things, temporarily.
It's the coming home and being by myself part I'm afraid of. :buggedout:
I'm right there with you, RC. I'm cracking, and I've started drinking again so I don't have to think about things. If something doesn't happen, or if I don't make something happen, things are going to get very bad. I don't have a good track record when it comes to trying to change things for the better, so ...
I know this doesn't help you. I'm just offering my sympathy.
"The birds have their nests,
The foxes have their holes,
But the son of man has no place to rest his head."
indianasmith has some really good advice. People need to always be doing something, otherwise you start attacking your own head. That doesn't end up being too much fun.
I mentioned in the comic book artist thread that I thought your art was really good. Not telling you how to live your life, but maybe doing more of that and sharing it with other people would help fill your days. I got a real kick out of the stuff you drew, and if you share it I think you will find a lot of like-minded people. I would love to see it, even if the only people you shared it with was this board.
It has possibility, and I'm not just saying that to be polite.
I guess I'll chime in along very similary line.
ACTIVITY BABY!
I do recommend getting yourself engrossed in something. Something that is physically active is even better. Finding a charity race of some kind and preparing for it is a great thing to do, as it both gives you something to work toward and makes you feel good to contribute to a worthy cause. My wife and I run the 5k for breast cancer every year in Phoenix and getting ready for the event and running it give us a real charge. I'm not saying it has to be that, just giving an example. It could be a a foot race, a bike race, hiking, playing paintball (although that can get expensive), painting, starting a garden, etc. These things help, I'm telling you. They change your focus in positive ways, and you will likely find yourself meeting new friends.
And, of course, make sure you share your new exploits with us. :teddyr:
I've had my own experiences with mental illness - depression, anxiety, mild OCD, obsession - and it's got to be the worst kind of pain, because your own mind is the one thing you can't escape from, and when it isn't working right, you don't perceive things as they really are. I've dealt with it off and on for as long as I can remember, but I had a particularly terrible bout of it about ten years ago - so bad there are one or two places I'm afraid to go, simply because of the memory of a terrifying thought I had there. Mental illness is much more common than most people realize, and there's no shame in it.
My first thought is to see even a medical doctor if you can. No need for a lot of expensive psychoanalysis, if a prescription for a simple SSRI will do the job. Reading this thread and others, I'm thinking it might. I'm hearing a lot of depression and anxiety in what you're saying. For me, the hard part was just going to see somebody, and not trying to tough it out myself. I just went to see my doctor a few years ago, told him what was wrong, and he gave me a prescription without a lot of folderol. I haven't quite found the right combination of meds yet, but what I have is helping some.
Now, if that is still more than you can afford, I agree that activity is best. Get out for a walk every day. Take advantage of the sunshine and get outside. Pump some iron if you can. Physical activity and sunshine will boost your serotonin levels, which will help some. And try to do some activities that require a lot of mental focus, something you can really get into for a couple of hours. Your cartooning seems like an ideal choice. From what you've said before, I think part of your problem is that you have a job that doesn't require a lot of focus, and it gives you several hours a day to get caught up in your own thoughts. Probably a good idea to fill your spare time with mentally demanding activities.
Another good thing you can do is a form of cognitive therapy, which can be as simple as learning to recognize an unhealthy thought and dealing with it in a healthy way. People always want to work through things, as if an irrational thought can be dispelled with reason. If you are depressed and anxious and obsessive, trying to argue with your own negative thoughts can just turn you in on yourself and let those thoughts take over. I know from personal experience. If you can train yourself to recognize such thoughts for what they are, you can deal with them in a way that won't cause them to spiral out of control. That can be as simple as just not taking the bait, and diverting your attention elsewhere.
Good post, AndyC. Focusing on something really does take away that edge. For me, it was creative pursuits... when I had the space, I built model kits all the time. Mostly monsters and classic sci-fi stuff like the Lost In Space robot B9, and such.
I'd be sitting there for hours sometimes, not knowing how much time had passed, and seeing how nice the model kits looked when I got done putting all that energy into creativity really paid off in a big way. So did lessons in airbrushing and general brush techniques, lol
Point is, occupation is a big distraction for negative feelings, as you concentrate so
much on your task that you forget what was bothering you. Mind you, one size dosen't fit all in these situations, but creativity is a good way to go with these kinds of issues. It helps you burn a lot of energy in a good way. :smile: