"You're not a human! You're just a b***hy trampoline!"
-Rose to Lady Cassandra (Doctor Who)
"You two donkey-d!cks couldn't get laid in a morgue."
- The very quotable Chet Donnelly, from Weird Science
"if you could or would for one brief moment shut that vast resounding chasm of a mouth I should be grateful madam"
-Vinceint Price, The comedy of Terror (The scene at the dinner table is full of great insults)
From the little known and much missed Shadow warrior PC game.
You move like a pregnant yak.
You are weak as a baby fart, go live in fear.
"Men, Would you like to see your wife in something long and flowing?"
"Yeah a river!"
Benny hill show
No put down in history has quite the same sting as:
"I'd rather kiss a Wookie!!"
from THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.
Quote from: indianasmith on May 21, 2011, 11:19:59 AM
No put down in history has quite the same sting as:
"I'd rather kiss a Wookie!!"
from THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.
And it had the perfect comeback:
"That can be arranged!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEhDZN0RFjw
Quote from: flackbait on May 21, 2011, 11:18:02 AM
"Men, Would you like to see your wife in something long and flowing?"
"Yeah a river!"
Benny hill show
Or Benny's "George and Dragon" sketch, which was loaded with insults, mostly directed at Rita Webb, as the homely medieval barmaid at the George and Dragon Inn.
Benny: "I say, is George in?"
Rita: I'll be going off soon.
Benny: You've been going off for years.
Pretty barmaid: Don't talk to her like that, she's a real treasure.
Benny: What did you have to go and dig her up for?
Rita: Beauty's only skin deep.
Benny: You was born inside-out, weren't you.
Rita: We're all sisters under the skin.
Benny: Well get back under your skin and send your sister out.
Rita: I've never been so insulted in all my life.
Benny: You must have been.
"You're really mean with money, you're a tremendous physical coward. You once spent an afternoon on the Samaritan switchboard and four people committed suicide. Your middle name is Judas but tell everyone it's Johnathan. You sign all your official letters "A.J.Rimmer B.S.C.", and B.S.C. stands for 'bronze swimming certificate'. You're a cheating, weaselly, low-life, scum-bucket, with all the charm and social grace of a pubic louse"
Lister to Rimmer, Red Dwarf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sadRv-xyVYk
Quote from: flackbait on May 21, 2011, 11:18:02 AM
"Men, Would you like to see your wife in something long and flowing?"
"Yeah a river!"
Benny hill show
I seem to remember another Benny Hill show where he was sitting down on couch talking to the audience in a Jewish accent, complaining about his wife:
He said "My wife says I'm going to drive her to her grave, so I got the car warmed up and ready to go in 2 minutes"! :bouncegiggle: Fun show!