(http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/wong/ass_kicker.jpg)
^The personal ass kicker, only $149.99! Try it out for 30 days, and if your not satisfied, SCREW YOU THEN!!!!
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"Tired of always putting your foot in your mouth? Now you can literally beat yourself to death over simple mistakes as you put a foot up your OWN ass with the Ass-Kicker 5000!
Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any damages arising as a result of putting a foot in your ass and one in your mouth at the same time.