I have two big ones, one that I'm 100% serious about and one that's mostly a joke.
The Joke would be "John Tucker Must Die"... I saw this in theaters and was disappointed. I had written an awesome dark comedy in my head that the film never was for a second. The movie is about a bunch of b***hy girls that want to humiliate the most popular guy in school because he never took them on a second date. My movie idea was (like heathers) they actually are attempting to kill him. However things get in the way and they keep killing innocent bystanders by accident. Jon Tucker is always at the scene of the crime and thus gets framed as being the murderer.
For real though... I want to remake 1991's Popcorn. For those of you who haven't seen the original, a group of kids throw an all night horror movie marathon showing films from the 50's and 60's. The films are hilarious 'mock-movies' like Mosquito and the amazing electric man. Throughout the screenings people are getting murdered by an unknown killer. My pitch would be to repeat the general premise (becuase it still works) but instead of having one director do everything you hire 3 comedy directors to direct the 3 films. You also update it so the films are from the 80's instead of the 50's. Then you get a real horror director (or I guess if I can swing it... myself... it is a dream scenario) to film the actual horror movie wrap-around.
Breakout from Oppression (1978)
I like the idea of the story but the story itself wasnt working... so I wrote a new script based upon the idea with a chilling theme to the story.
(http://i190.photobucket.com/albums/z56/captnskullhead/Revenge.jpg)
Although I cannot call what I did is a remake or a copy to the original movie.
Kissing Jessica Stein.
I'd make her stay a lesbian!
:thumbup:
Babylon A.D., but I will leave Mathieu Kassovitz free to do as he think*... So it will probably a decent movie instead of the bad movie we got in the 2008.
*If you do not understand, check the FAQ of Babylon A.D. in IMDB page.
The Trollenberg Terror - I'd give it a more ambigious conclusion and leave open room for a sequel.
Explorers - the aliens wouldn't be a joke.
I almost forgot the obvious: Star Wars! But I would force the director to read all Darths & Droids.
THE WARRIORS - The original is a fun piece of bad cinema (Michael Beck as a gang leader? Would you follow him into the mean streets and back alleys of New York?) I'd like to see a gritty version with gut-wrenching violence and a really hot female lead. Too bad David Patrick Kelly is too old to play Luther.
I would remake most of John Water's films and the only change I would make is that I would give them a running time of 0 minutes.
Quote from: The Burgomaster on August 25, 2011, 02:34:04 PM
THE WARRIORS - ...I'd like to see a gritty version with gut-wrenching violence...
And that is the sort of thing that would turn me off of seeing the film. It works fine as it is and by up-ing the violence on it, you might end up distracting people away from everything with the shock value.
Jaws 4: First, I would have the guys make a brand new mechanical shark because the original was in very poor shape. Then, I would add more shark attacks and throw out the character of Jake or his ridicious accent. From there, I would rewrite a lot of the plot or at least explain why the shark is hunting everyone down. Finally, I'll make sure not to show the shark very much like the original Jaws. The more you see the monster in a horror film, the less impact it has on people. However, I would keep the score and invite back Michael Caine for a cameo just for fun.
MONSUIER VERDOUX- Chaplin would get away in the end.
NIGHT OF THE LEPUS- Have the rabbits talk, and be voiced by James Earl Jones. Have the rabbits break into a musical number, singing "I'm Just Wild About Hare-y", growing machine guns out of their backsides due to a mutation, the little girl would be played by Dakota Fanning (and get eaten by a rabbit), etc.
NIGHT OF THE COMET- More zombie action, please. No CGI, though, keep the make-up.
HERCULES-Hades wins.
THE STAR WARS PREQUELS- Jar Jar Binks turns out to be the criminal mastermind behind it all, Lord Sith being merely his accomplice. He was only acting retarded and annoying just as a brilliant ploy.
TOY STORY 3- The toys are roasted in the furnace, then the credits roll.
WALL-E: Wall-E loses his memory, EVE loses WALL-E forever. Everyone starves to death trying to plant pizza plants.
TRASFORMERS 3: Everyone dies. I go home a slightly happier boy. The End.
Since I'm a more visiual person I can give some examples of how I'd update some designs.
The Creeping Terror
I'd give the creatures an H.R, Giger bio-mechanical overhall to expand on the idea that they were living robots sent to planets to collect data on the inhabitants.
Manos: The Hands of Fate
The Master's look would draw from the Raelian leader (that UFO cult that claimed to have cloned a human a few years back)
(http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/2003/0301/raelians0104.jpg) His laair would look more like Stonehenge with five pillars sort of arching towards alter at the center, essentially forming a giant hand structure. I'd give some more hints that Torgo wasn't entirelly human.
Quote from: Kaseykockroach on August 25, 2011, 05:25:32 PM
NIGHT OF THE LEPUS- the little girl would be played by Dakota Fanning (and get eaten by a rabbit), etc.
Couldn't work now. She's about to enter college. Heck, her little sister couldn't even work nowadays.
Quote from: Kaseykockroach on August 25, 2011, 05:25:32 PM
HERCULES-Hades wins.
TOY STORY 3- The toys are roasted in the furnace, then the credits roll.
WALL-E: Wall-E loses his memory, EVE loses WALL-E forever. Everyone starves to death trying to plant pizza plants.
Well ain't you a ball of sunshine. Did you ever work on Grave of the Fireflies or When the Wind Blows by any chance?
Also, now how I would remake The Dark Knight is by keeping almost everything the same, but change everyone into ponies, change art direction, and make it more a parody. Not because I would think it would be any good, I would do it just so I could invite everyone here to a screening and video tape your reaction. :tongueout:
I was inspired by this parody trailer I just discovered the other day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfu_Zn5zkX4
hmm, Transformers by making the main character more of what the original character shoulda been. Also, I would make the Robots to be STOP MOTION instead of that CGi crap you see nowadays. Also, I won't make the story based solely on the humans and won't pull a fast one outta my ass Michael Bay!!!! :hatred:
Quote from: Kaseykockroach on August 25, 2011, 05:25:32 PM
THE STAR WARS PREQUELS- Jar Jar Binks turns out to be the criminal mastermind behind it all, Lord Sith being merely his accomplice. He was only acting retarded and annoying just as a brilliant ploy.
Actually all you need to do is make Padmé the plot from the dark side in Episode 3 and Obi-Wan Kenobi kills her and steals the unborn kids, Anakin Skywalker knew she was pregnant but didnt know about Twins...
Everything would make sense since the intent was to find Anakin and turn him into the darkside.
Not a remake, but I would give William Shatner a couple of $million to re-do the largely terrible visual FX in Star Trek V which was IMO that film's only weak point.
Quote from: Trevor on August 26, 2011, 01:41:55 AM
Not a remake, but I would give William Shatner a couple of $million to re-do the largely terrible visual FX in Star Trek V which was IMO that film's only weak point.
Everyone says that but I didn't mind the effects. They weren't the greatest but they didn't distract.
However, 'Eden' at the end was laughable.
How is a desert anyone idea of paradise! They should've built a cool jungle set or a location shoot is Costa Rica or annything; filiming in a barren waste land where you expect Mad Mad to go driving by at any time is pathetic. lol
Quote from: InformationGeek on August 25, 2011, 05:22:24 PM
Quote from: The Burgomaster on August 25, 2011, 02:34:04 PM
THE WARRIORS - ...I'd like to see a gritty version with gut-wrenching violence...
And that is the sort of thing that would turn me off of seeing the film. It works fine as it is and by up-ing the violence on it, you might end up distracting people away from everything with the shock value.
Yeah, but when it first came out everyone was distracted by the violence. The movie actually caused riots and gang violence in many theaters and was extremely controversial. The violence is tame by today's standards. I'd like to see a version that portrays gang violence more realistically, rather than the comic-book way the original portrayed it.
Quote from: The Burgomaster on August 25, 2011, 02:34:04 PM
Jaws 4: I would keep the score
Isn't it depressing how amazing the Score is vs. the rest of the movie
Pulp Fiction -cut out the long scenes with Bruce willis's asian girlfriend. I realise that's more 'If You could Edit a Film' but still...
Piranah - only because Piranah 3D was such a steaming pile of lettuce, I'd like someone to remake it in a genuinely good way.
Kung Fu Panda (2008).
I would change the final, after the presentation of Tai Lung it is annoying that he gets killed by Po after one week of Kung Fu training.
So I would make final like that: in the fight Tai Lung understands what was wrong in his life and surrenders (most of it admittedly). He brings a fainted Po to the temple and accepts his punishment for his crimes and start working as social worker in the valley. The idea is that the violence was not the solution to the Tai Lung problem; and only Po could bring sanity in Tai Lung mind.
Po stays in the temple and starts learning kung fu, years passes. Final scene: Po is fighting Tigress and hits her violently. Po starts one of his nonsensical dances from the happiness that for the first time he hit Tigress. She starts beat the hell out of him (Po does not lose his happiness, of course).
Tai Lung returns and see that Tigress has the stick of the leader and discover that Shifu died for the wounds years ago; yet the new Tai Lung is welcomed back to the temple.
I think it would be less funny, but more deep than the original ending. And it keeps Tai Lung for the sequels! (ok, you lose Shifu...)
What do you think?
I think...you've just spoiler-ized the end of Kung Fu Panda? not really bothered tbh I wasn't planning on watching it :smile:
FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLFMAN-I'd have given the Monster the ability to speak.
In the finale of GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN, the Monster is given the brain of Ygor-and he speaks in Ygors voice...yet he's blinded.
Stands to logic that in the sequel he would speak.
And.... in FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLFMAN...he does! But all Lugosi's dialouge was cut! And all refrences to the monster being blinded!
So all the scenes of Larry Talbot leading the Monster around by the hand,and of him standing immobile while Talbot talks to folks seems meaningless.
At the finale,when the Doctor is restoring the Monster to full strength-Lugosi's eyes pop open-he can see again!
But,unless your a monster movie geek-you wouldnt know it-because all the dialouge was cut!
A shame. :bluesad:
I'd give 'The Ninth Gate' an...ohh...I don't know...an ending perhaps???
The 1931 DRACULA.
The first 1/3rd of the film is wonderful-perfect!
After Dracula is in England...not so much.
More is discribed rather than shown. Example....the scene in the asylum when Reinfield describes Dracula approaching his window and promising him "Ratssss! RATSSSS! THOUSANDS! MILLIONS" and the eyes of rats glowing in the backround . This should have been shown!
Also the vampirized Lucy approaching and killing the child;the Count as a wolf fleeing the house,and finally-the very anticlimatic staking scene! Dracula is dispatched with an off screen moan!!!!
Coulda use some music in parts too....Swan Lake is used in the credits....that could have been incorporated.
It's still a classic....thanks to Lugosi and Karl Freund's photography....but it could have been soooo much more.
"I'm rrrready for my cue,Meeeester-Mer-chant!"
(http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l79/RCMerchant/thumbnailCAP5P7QU.jpg)
Creature from The Black Lagoon. One of my favourite classic monster flicks. Seen it many times :thumbup:
Surf Nazis must Die. Funny title, fun idea, terrible execution. It's just a dull movie. Pump up the action, humor and the art direction. Seriously the sets are just a few scattered warehouses with a hastily spray painted swastikas. It's post apocalyptic, I want to see Surfers (with chainsaws on their boards) riding waves of toxic sludge, and neo-nazis geting mangled in hilarious ways.
Every comic book based movie that's been going wrong lately.
Also kinda off topic, If I go the right to direct Batman I'd make a Riddler that doesn't suck and a Scarecrow that I won't laugh at.
Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe - make Flash truly heroic, but someone who can use a helping hand then and again, involve Dale Arden more in the action and make the villains even more menacing. A mix of comedy, seriousness, elements of sci-fi and horror and just plain fun.
I have a couple, I will list one now and then keep on adding.
The Guyver II - Dark Hero. The end shows the main character launching the alien ship. I would remake it (the rest of the movie was very good I thought) to have the guy explore the ship more and find more about the Guyver unit and why it is drawn to bad guys and also show where the planet was that the alien came from.
Another entry-
The Resurrected. Most of the movie is great but there are some unanswered questions that i would answer with a remake. The scene where the group is going into the opening in the basement, they hear a door close on the main floor, they look up but ignore it. I would make it so that they go and investigate it and find a monster or another servant of the bad Charles. The next part that I would remake (or touch up) is when the group is in the catacombs. There are doors that are locked, I would have the be able to open the doors and find slaves or some monsters or some skeletons or may be a library or maybe nothing. The next part would be in the great room with the exam table and the remains of the wizards and such. This room had so much to offer but little was done. The next thing I would remake of this movie is the lighting. Eventhough it was supposed to be dark, I would have had a better lantren or flood/flashlight written in. This could have been used to explore the other rooms or the great room better. The last thing I would have remade is the scene with the creatures in the pit. I think they could have been shown better. There are other movies I would do but I need to save room for other members ;)
Later,
John
Quote from: Pillow on September 01, 2011, 12:16:05 PM
Creature from The Black Lagoon. One of my favourite classic monster flicks. Seen it many times :thumbup:
How would you change it?
Quote from: JPickettIII on September 01, 2011, 10:57:43 PM
Quote from: Pillow on September 01, 2011, 12:16:05 PM
Creature from The Black Lagoon. One of my favourite classic monster flicks. Seen it many times :thumbup:
How would you change it?
Oh, right. For one I would improve the main characters, they were pretty generic. Add some interesting twists to them. I would keep the Captain, though, he was awesome. I'd also add some changes the monster, still keep it humanoid, though, but make it less obvious that it's a dude in a costume.
Also, THRILLER: A Cruel Picture. Didn't like it all, which was surprising. I felt it had a lot of potential, however. One-eye could have been awesome, and the lame slow-motion action scenes I would redo as well.
OK, I have another one.
The Gates of Hell. There is one scene I would remake. This is the end of the movie I think is dumb. The kid running and the woman screaming is unfulfiling. I would change it to show the kid running and the woman scream and the undead coming out of the ground to grab the kid. And/or the priest would come back and make people vomit their intestines.
Later,
John
I think that I found an alternate ending.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NkgaFHO-ak
I can't make out the end but I think that the dead came back.
Maybe I won't have to spend money on a script and film editing :)
Later,
John
THE GIANT CLAW.
It starts over china, and the whole cast is Chinese, with effects by Weta.
Seriously, consider how many films would be so different if the monster was the same, but the location differed. Like Reptilicus in Alaska, or Gorgo in Africa.
Quote from: Pillow on September 02, 2011, 12:24:43 PM
Quote from: JPickettIII on September 01, 2011, 10:57:43 PM
Quote from: Pillow on September 01, 2011, 12:16:05 PM
Creature from The Black Lagoon. One of my favourite classic monster flicks. Seen it many times :thumbup:
How would you change it?
Oh, right. For one I would improve the main characters, they were pretty generic. Add some interesting twists to them. I would keep the Captain, though, he was awesome. I'd also add some changes the monster, still keep it humanoid, though, but make it less obvious that it's a dude in a costume.
Also, THRILLER: A Cruel Picture. Didn't like it all, which was surprising. I felt it had a lot of potential, however. One-eye could have been awesome, and the lame slow-motion action scenes I would redo as well.
I always wanted to see a Creature remake with Stan Winston's creature from Monster Squad
(http://www.horroryearbook.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/monster-squad.jpg)
The Last Action Hero. I'd film the early draft of the script, before it was "doctored" and lightened up. I've read that it was more satirical and not so sentimental. Much darker too. For example, the projectionist who supplies the magic ticket turns out to be the devil in disguise. Basically, it had more of what was great about the movie, and less of what made it suck.
Actually, that would be a great way to remake any movie that fell victim to script tampering.
I'd like to remake the Black Xmas remake. :teddyr: Shot on video. Original cast. Bob Clarke directing. None of that pointless exposition BS that plagued the remake.
I'd like to have a crack a "Zombie Nightmare," but I bet Jon Mikl Thor owns the rights. That guy is so delusional, he probably wouldn't let anyone tamper with his "masterpiece." I think it's a decent idea, that could be made better. As a matter of fact I think that the scene where the kids run over Tony was the inspiration for the opening of "I Know What You Did Last Summer."
"House of the Dead." I just watched that forgettable stinker, and I would overhaul the script completely so it uses the basic premise of the first game. A fair bit of artistic license for character development, of course, but sticking to the basic premise, setting, and characters.