Begins at 8:00 PM (CST) today on 11/12/11.
"Thank you" to Indiana Smith for the request. Everyone else, better luck next week. :twirl:
It's SHOWTIME!
1 min - Nice Tim Curry impression.
1 min - See the candalabra behind the "expert's" head? Subtle.
1:50 (Changing up the timestamps) - Wow! Cleanest knife ever! It looks like it didn't even cut his neck!
2:00 - Now he's bleeding! A little delayed. Also, nobody was there to keep the killer from attacking him? It's a live TV broadcast!
3:15 - What accent is that supposed to be? I thought Tommy Wiseau's accent was obscure...
3:45 - Why is there a sign saying "Please knock"? There isn't even a door there.
4:19 - Thanks for that little bit of worthless exposition! If you didn't say that I wouldn't be able to tell he worked in gene isolation! also thanks for circling it on the board like you're teaching this to a classroom. Jackass.
5:25 - Biologically enhanced super soldiers? Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.
6:15 - Yes, you've GOT to be kidding! Why the hell would you clone serial killers?! The only thing special about serial killers is that they're sociopathic, giving them poker faces that gets them out of sticky situations! Why would you bother making soldiers out of these guys?! And no way in hell they're going to listen to YOUR orders.
6:20 - "X-13 is the future of modern warfare!"
Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 7 - X-13 (Or Dahmer Vs. Gacy) The Reckoning
7:50 - How the flying **** does that make the slightest bit of sense?
*Yawn*
Anybody else want to watch some Dexter?
10:20 - He was killed by REALLY bad editing!
11:39 - Seriously? What's with this editing? What's the point of taking 5 different shots of the same angle in the same scene? It's not artsy, it's distracting.
12:00 - Is this what happened to Wilford Brimley after his career ended and he got DIABEETUS?
12:29 - He found a camera in the trash? OH I GET IT! That's not Wilford! That's Ford Austin!
12:50 - That oddly clean looking rat seems to be unable to move its legs properly. It's almost like the rat is... Fake?
I gotta give him this, he's more sane than anybody currently trying to occupy Wall Street.
13:45 - Circus Circus?! Nobody told me HE was in this movie!
16:00 min - The hostile overtone didn't clue you in on the fact that this guy is a creep?
16:58 - What the hell? The camera cuts out immediately after that? What did the f**king camera run out of batteries?
17:19 - Wait now he's IRISH? I thought he was Russian! Just pick a damn accent and stick with it!
18:05 - Thanks for showing us the guy's name on the window. I already kinda forgot his name is Stravinski. Seriously, how stupid does Ford Austin think we are?
IMDB fact - Dahmer is played by Ford Austin himself? Don't you LOVE pretentious pricks that STAR in their own movies?
How many movies starring their directors were actually succ-
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Oohh... Right...
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19:49 - The movie has given up. We're hoping midget mimes are amusing the pea-brained audience now.
12:55 - Dude, the clown is doing his job just like you. Don't f**king pick on him.
22:22 - Yeah, you can SO say that on TV and not expect backlash!
24:04 - Those voices aren't talking to you, fool! They're looking for Ringo Star!
24:27 - Brilliant, a 555 number. Just to make sure nobody tries calling poor bastards. I know I wouldn't want my phone number in this piece of s**t.
25:48 - God has a sense of humor.
26:31 - PFFT! Go to church? Trust me, pal... Nobody likes going to church!
27:18 - Is it just me or does that bottle of Jack Daniel's look more like apple juice than whiskey?
27:30 - This music is PERFECTLY appropriate!
28:00 - This must be Gunnery Sgt. Heartman's wife.
29:12 - W- Wait.. THAT'S THE BOX COVER OF THE MOVIE!
29:23 - We have no evidence suggesting these murders are related, we're just assuming they are.
29:59 - "Micheal Bay to produce original movie and its remake back to back."
Really? You're going criticize other bad directors in the middle of your low-budget, b-list, dime-a-dozen, psudo-horror?
30:30 - Pretty sure they just picked this guy off the street and said "Wanna be in a movie?"
31:00 - Why is everyone so damn morbid?
Why do you guys keep suggesting intentionally bad movies?
32:13 -... Just waiting for you to get to the punch-line... Wait? That's it? Okay, time wasted.
33:30 - Wait they already LEFT the facility instead of killing the guy they wanted to kill? What is this? I don't even-
34:27 - Camera guy's a little buzzed right now, maybe we should shoot this later.
35:26 - Don't compare yourself to Plan 9. Ed Wood actually TRIED to make a good movie.
36:57 - The D&D larpers called, they want their cardboard walls back.
38:41 - I wish I could turn this off.
Actually I can, but I'm not going to. I love you guys too much...
Don't read into that too much.
40:25 - You think you can change the station on GOD?
41:38 - Interesting taste in women. She's probably a dominatrix just so you know.
42:30 - That would be the greatest episode of "Weakest Link" ever.
44:15 - Wow, serial killer fans are pretty hot.
Not sure what the motivation is.
45:00 - Where do you buy a Dahmer lunchbox?
46:07 - Do they intentionally pick scientists with the weirdest names?
46:48 - Are you trying to be funny?
47:55 - "I don't know" is not a suitable response.
48:40 - Ford Austin: "Hey guys! I found the COOLEST effect on my pirated Sony Vegas Pro 08 copy! It looks like a wavy TV with blue static! it's SOOOO cool!"
53:30 - I think they just recorded the actresses' reaction to finding out we're making this s**t sillier by adding ninjas.
56:30 - Trying to hide your identity? Keep wearing your lab coat that states the project you're working on.
58:30 - You've got to be kidding. A katana? Why is there a katana buried in the middle of a Forrest?
1:00:00 - Why am I so bored by a Redneck with a katana fighting off ninjas? This should be awesome! They've gone and make the ridiculous boring!
1:02:40 - Ninjas have the power to vanish into a s**tty cross-fade.
1:03:40 - Really, does anyone want to watch Dexter? Come on now, I'm sick of this.
1:05:50 - Is Dahmer the Christopher Walken of serial killers?
1:06:30 - I am SOOOO afraid of this guy's Canadian accent.
1:07:18 - Why do you keep putting off killing him? Just DO it!
1:08:00 - Really? Dahmer just left a swiss army knife in his pocket? No, I should stop trying to point out logic flaws.
1:09:13 - ...This part is fun... :thumbup:
1:10:00 - It's called "Silence of The Lambs", it's a much better movie than yours.
1:11:10 - These interpretations of homosexuals are SOOOO accurate right?
1:12:23 - You're a clone. You're not a resurrected Gacy. You're a carbon reproduction, you've never been to Hell.
Sorry for falling silent, this is just a long fight scene.
1:17:20 - Really? Corn-on-the-cob kill? Also how come Gacy gets so little screen-time and he's already dead?
1:21:00 - I was wondering where that guy went. I mean he's SUUUUUUCH a likeable character!
1:22:00 - Gacy's body vanishes like a dead video game enemy?
1:23:07 - Really? Did that SERIOUSLY happen? Why? How? What the hell?
1:25:00 - Admittedly I would have preferred a Charles Manson movie.
Credits - Apparently Ford was not just the director and Dahmer. He was also Ringo. So what does that mean for his career? A big 'ol pile of f**kall.
Overall - A really cheaply made and immature comedy. This one goes in the bin with Cowboy Killer, Thankskilling, Monsturd and Pervert!. I have a new rule. You may no longer suggest INTENTIONALLY bad movies. Please request something that had a director with the motivation (and intelligence) of Ed Wood. Directors so stupid they think their s**t don't stink.
Whatever, A.J.'s signing off for the night. Good night to all my fellow fans of Schlock!
Your comments had me rolling on the floor. Great review!
BTW, beside this thing, COWBOY KILLER is Oscar Material.
But I'll admit, DAHMER VS. GACY did make me laugh.
Quote from: indianasmith on November 12, 2011, 11:21:59 PM
Your comments had me rolling on the floor. Great review!
BTW, beside this thing, COWBOY KILLER is Oscar Material.
But I'll admit, DAHMER VS. GACY did make me laugh.
Thanks, Indy. Anyone else have any comments? I like it when people have things to say after a review.