(http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120726015550/memoryalpha/en/images/f/f4/StarfleetCommand2364.jpg)
"And, I you should get eaten by a slobbering alien monster, rest assured, Starfleet Insurance will see that all the monster poop is gathered up, and given a proper burial."
One in the middle: "Yes,I'm the only one with a line. And I had to pay them $50 for it,too!"
(http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120726015550/memoryalpha/en/images/f/f4/StarfleetCommand2364.jpg)
"Unprovoked attacks by Klingons. They can land you knee-deep in targ do-do. But the good-hands people at Allstate will make sure to clean off all that targ do-do. Professional service. Non-threatening Vulcan spokesperson. That's Allstate's stand. "