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Other Topics => Off Topic Discussion => Topic started by: RCMerchant on May 03, 2014, 03:49:45 PM

Title: Blood from your ass
Post by: RCMerchant on May 03, 2014, 03:49:45 PM
I have hemmoroids-and I have had to excuse myself from work because once in a while I have blood coming from my ass-!
Its very embarissing at first-but Ive learned to live with it-nott he blood from my ass-that always is a bad thing-the overcoming the embaressment of it.
Is there any kind of embarrassing  thing that happened to you in public?

And I cant f**king spell-thats embarrissing.
Embarrising.

f**k!!!  :hatred: I cant spell it.
EM-BARE ASS- ING!
embareassing!
f**k this.
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: Javakoala on May 03, 2014, 06:18:16 PM
am bare *ssing

Mine isn't quite as serious as yours, but I have evil sinuses. Once in a while, I will start sneezing harder and harder until either: 1. I get a sudden serve headache; 2. I accidentally bite my tongue while sneezing; or 3. I get a nosebleed. Freaking pain the arse. Plus, it wigs folks out when you sneeze up a bloody nose.
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: indianasmith on May 03, 2014, 07:21:25 PM
One time I had a diarrhea attack in our local Wal-Mart. Snuck up on me; I thought it was a fart! :hatred:
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: lester1/2jr on May 03, 2014, 07:33:32 PM
I've had mishaps while running that I don't like to talk about
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: zelmo73 on May 03, 2014, 09:38:20 PM
Quote from: RCMerchant on May 03, 2014, 03:49:45 PM
I have hemmoroids-and I have had to excuse myself from work because once in a while I have blood coming from my ass-!
Its very embarissing at first-but Ive learned to live with it-nott he blood from my ass-that always is a bad thing-the overcoming the embaressment of it.
Is there any kind of embarrassing  thing that happened to you in public?

And I cant f**king spell-thats embarrissing.
Embarrising.

f**k!!!  :hatred: I cant spell it.
EM-BARE ASS- ING!
embareassing!
f**k this.

Just be glad that it is not the black blood. Black blood comes from your gut, and that is something to be worried about! Hemorrhoids...meh. Been there, done that. Just drink more booze and you'll feel better.  :drink:
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: Mofo Rising on May 04, 2014, 02:39:20 AM
s**tting red is no fun. But it happens, probably just a hemorrhoid. You should be fine. But if it's the other thing, kind of goopy, it wouldn't hurt you to see what the doctor says. Just saying.
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: Trevor on May 04, 2014, 10:20:34 AM
Quote from: indianasmith on May 03, 2014, 07:21:25 PM
One time I had a diarrhea attack in our local Wal-Mart. Snuck up on me; I thought it was a fart! :hatred:

:buggedout: :buggedout:
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: The Burgomaster on May 04, 2014, 03:32:01 PM
About a year ago, I found out I have colitis.  Before I went to the doctor for tests, I would sometimes need to VERY QUICKLY get to the bathroom and release a flow of blood.  One day at work it came on so suddenly that I could get out of my office in time.  I closed my door and called our receptionist (we are very close) into my office where I explained to her that I needed to go home because my pants had a fairly large bloodstain on the back.  I quickly walked out the door, using my laptop bag to shield the damage as much as possible.  Luckily, I had a towel in my car for the dogs to sit on and I was able to sit on it for the ride home to avoid staining my car seat.  Thankfully, the doctor gave me pills and this condition is now under control.

Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: Mr. DS on May 04, 2014, 05:49:14 PM
I too have had hems, last nasty one was a a few years back.   The f*cker at first wouldn't stop swelling then it wouldn't stop bleeding.   My doctor at the time cut the clot out but not after I had to wear a wad of toilet paper up my crack.   Glad I'm not a lady and have to deal with that bloody stuff once a month personally.

As for shameful moments in public, I've had a few "close calls" making it to the toilet.   Especially in recent years.   Last time I was driving with my wife and the kids and had to almost literally jump out of the car to make it to the can on time. 
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: zelmo73 on May 04, 2014, 08:57:33 PM
QuoteBlood from your ass (2014) 


The thread title, when properly Zelmo-fied with the year that it came out, makes for an awesome title to a bad movie!  :cheers:


Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: The Burgomaster on May 05, 2014, 03:15:37 PM
By the way, I'm printing this list so that I'll know who to blame for the stains on my upholstery if I ever invite this crew over for a party.

Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: Umaril Has Returned on May 05, 2014, 03:45:45 PM


One time I had black stool, but that week we had a very dark chocolate cake and the day it happened I had quite a large piece and followed up with quite a few more in the following days. Hasn't happened since. It might have  been the iron content.

Perhaps my biggest problem is after I eat bean soup...for 2 or 3 days afterward, I have really BAD gas. Long and really loud. Let's just say that in comparison, Trevor's undies probably have it better (maybe, lol)
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: Flangepart on May 05, 2014, 05:04:30 PM
Quote from: zelmo73 on May 04, 2014, 08:57:33 PM
QuoteBlood from your ass (2014) 


The thread title, when properly Zelmo-fied with the year that it came out, makes for an awesome title to a bad movie!  :cheers:
Horrifically apt!
Yeah, I know what yer going through...or is that going through you? Depends on dinner.
Aspirin thins the blood, so it will exacerbate yer problem....just a friendly warning.
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: JaseSF on May 05, 2014, 06:15:15 PM
Most of us have had problems like that at one time or another. Just not something you like to really think too much about or discuss normally. Embarrassing yeah.
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: VenomX73 on May 05, 2014, 06:41:26 PM
(http://static.tumblr.com/ctlvpci/g4Ym0os0s/homer_simpson_fade.gif)
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: Umaril Has Returned on May 08, 2014, 03:34:06 PM
Quote from: indianasmith on May 03, 2014, 07:21:25 PM
One time I had a diarrhea attack in our local Wal-Mart. Snuck up on me; I thought it was a fart! :hatred:

Right but when you feel that warm stuff running down your backside, you know it's much worse...
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: The Burgomaster on May 08, 2014, 08:51:18 PM
I think I told this story in here before, but here it is again.

Several winters ago, I was using my snow blower to clear the driveway after a big storm.  I was wearing a pair of gray sweat pants.  After a few minutes, I let out a fart.  Awhile later, my wife came out to ask me a question.  She looked at the seat of my pants and asked, "Did you s**t your pants?"  Sure enough, there was a big, dark stain around my ass.  I could feel the dampness, but I guess I just thought it was from the snow.  The best part of the whole story is that this occurred in the morning when my neighbors were walking or driving by on their way to work or wherever.  I wonder how many of them noticed the big wet patch on my ass.  For some reason, they haven't invited me to their houses much since that day.

Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: cqmorrell on May 09, 2014, 10:38:17 AM
Quote from: indianasmith on May 03, 2014, 07:21:25 PM
One time I had a diarrhea attack in our local Wal-Mart. Snuck up on me; I thought it was a fart! :hatred:

(http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Foul_26ffc6_2776745.jpg)
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: Couchtr26 on May 09, 2014, 01:26:25 PM
I have never had the diarrhea problem but I have wet myself a couple times in public.  I'm diabetic and the blood sugars aren't always best and timing isn't always opportune. 
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: RCMerchant on May 10, 2014, 06:16:02 AM
The response from this is better than I expected! I dont have blood running out my ass at this moment-but-yesterday I was dancing when I was running my machine at the factory-I had the Ojays "Love Train" going through my head-and I fell and biffed out on the floor in front of lotsa folks-falling down in public for no reason is as goofy as it gets,man-I did it last week too-I was at work dancing to a song in my head-I tripped and smaked my head on a forklift.

I was in the middle of this song in my head-BIFF!

Soul Train Line Dance to The O Jays Love Train (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtfNwz-l6gw#)

People ran up to me-my arm got cut and was bleeding-I was fine-but a few lucky guys saw me wipe out and laughed there asses off!!!  :bouncegiggle:
When Im at work running a machine-I dance alot to songs in my head-I have 8 hours running a f**king machine-I gotta dance or ill go crazy.
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: Javakoala on May 10, 2014, 08:08:38 AM
Damn, dude. Are you breakdancing or what? Most white guys are so restrained while dancing that the only likely injury is to their sense of pride.

But by all means, dance on, brother! Life should be a party.  :cheers:
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: RCMerchant on May 10, 2014, 11:26:42 AM
Quote from: Javakoala on May 10, 2014, 08:08:38 AM
Damn, dude. Are you breakdancing or what? Most white guys are so restrained while dancing that the only likely injury is to their sense of pride.

But by all means, dance on, brother! Life should be a party.  :cheers:

I get ants in my pants and I gotta dance. :smile:
Title: Re: Blood from your ass
Post by: Javakoala on May 10, 2014, 02:36:50 PM
Let's pitch in to get RC a crash helmet and some knee and elbow pads. Gotta keep folks safe while they bust a move.