(http://www.lileks.com/bleats/archive/14/0714/0701art/serial/3.jpg)
I wear it in the left eye, I can see in the dark, and in my right eye, it's an X-ray...well, Heloooo, Nurse!
Man: Uh, let's see.. P.. F.. T.. O.. Z.. L..?
Eye doc (offscreen): Very good! Now, the other eye..?
I say....what knockers!