My dad is infamous for pulling these on me and this time I want to counterattack, so I have a month to prepare. Any ideas?
I'm open-minded to faking my own death but not my children's. Also if I burn his house down, should I cancel his homeowner's insurance to make it funnier? I've thought about committing a murder (oh, just a homeless person or a French mime) and planting his DNA all over the crime scene, though I'm not discounting the classics like a whoopie cushion or sneezing powder.
Ideas?
When he is sleeping put toothpaste over his eyelashes. It will dry rock solid. You can also go for the basics like cling film over the toilet seat, sign him up for a strange fetish dating website of some kind, put Nair in his shampoo, volunteer his lawn for a KKK meet, pour rock salt on his lawn in the shape of rude words, pour a bag of sugar into his gas tank. I have more, but i need to get ready for work so that will do for the moment.
KKK meet is the front-runner thus far. Guess I better hide my mom's rosaries when they come.
Put a few drops of silver nitrate on his underarm deodorant. Odorless, tasteless, and harmless, except it will dye his armpits black for a month!!! :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:
My friend and I once purchased an extremely large bra, bedazzled it, and mailed it to my husband's cousin along with an elaborate story and illustrations about how it was from a woman from his past that had recently found his address and wanted to proclaim in great detail that he was the "one that got away". Of course the cousin bragged about it for months and showed the bedazzled bra to everyone and then grossly exaggerated about the story behind it. It was pretty hilarious. Do you think your dad would fall for something like that?
Quote from: Paquita on February 26, 2018, 08:37:24 PM
My friend and I once purchased an extremely large bra, bedazzled it, and mailed it to my husband's cousin along with an elaborate story and illustrations about how it was from a woman from his past that had recently found his address and wanted to proclaim in great detail that he was the "one that got away". Of course the cousin bragged about it for months and showed the bedazzled bra to everyone and then grossly exaggerated about the story behind it. It was pretty hilarious. Do you think your dad would fall for something like that?
I wish, because that's a cute idea.
Stage 1: Sneak into his house and unload all guns.
Stage 2: Borrow a dry ice machine off a local band and set it up in his hallway.
Stage 3: Get a hocky mask and chainsaw.
Stage 4: While his is sitting in his house attack the front door with said chainsaw, while wearing hocky mask.
(Optional Stage 5: Buy him a new front door).
Or if he has a female relative he doesn't like answer the phone in his house and say "Oh yes Great Aunt Matilda, I am sure dad would love to have you come stay for a month."
Plant some high grade cocaine in his luggage just before he is due to travel somewhere. A less cruel version of this trick involves aniseed oil as that is one of the things they use to train sniffer dogs.
Register your Dad on Tinder or ashleymadison.com: you can use my pic in my avatar as his profile. :wink:
Buy a bunch of shirts for your dad that match the ones he already has, but get them a size or two smaller. Slowly swap his old ones for the new ones and make comments about how you think he is putting on weight.
PM me your postal address ER: I'll send you some of my undies for your Dad :wink:
Go to ever furry forum you can find and post his address as the site for a "get together". Tell them don't bother knocking, just come right in and shag the first thing you see. There will probably be some older guy yelling at them, but that's just part of the roleplay.
With all this (very creative!!!) talk of bedazzled bras and aggressive hookups with horny home invaders, maybe I should mention that my dad is a happily married chap.
And, Trevor, the idea is to confuse my dad, not put him in a odor-induced coma, though if I get tax-audited again this year, I may take you up on the offer as a special gift to my caseworker. :bouncegiggle:
QuoteWith all this (very creative!!!) talk of bedazzled bras and aggressive hookups with horny home invaders, maybe I should mention that my dad is a happily married chap.
That doesn't change my suggestion at all.
:twirl:
Quote from: Chainsaw midget on February 27, 2018, 04:12:58 PM
QuoteWith all this (very creative!!!) talk of bedazzled bras and aggressive hookups with horny home invaders, maybe I should mention that my dad is a happily married chap.
That doesn't change my suggestion at all.
:twirl:
Yeah, but he carries a gun, so....
Quote from: ER on February 27, 2018, 04:28:53 PM
Quote from: Chainsaw midget on February 27, 2018, 04:12:58 PM
QuoteWith all this (very creative!!!) talk of bedazzled bras and aggressive hookups with horny home invaders, maybe I should mention that my dad is a happily married chap.
That doesn't change my suggestion at all.
:twirl:
Yeah, but he carries a gun, so....
Remember my handy hint about unloading them before carrying out any practical jokes.
For April Fool's I was TRYING to get my mother to tell my dad she found out she's his long lost sister, but she told me that idea is "gross" and wouldn't do it.
I said, "It's just pretend for a day, Mom."
She shut her eyes and quietly said, "Just stop." THEN she went, "Child, I do worry about you."
I asked what was so bad about it, if they honestly didn't know they were siblings when they met and got married. Her face looked like she'd drank a rotten egg and she reminded me the joke in that case would be on me since that'd mean I had the DNA of someone from a Saturday evening horror movie.
Oh, yeah....
Clearly she's of no help.
Now I'm leaning toward something haz-mat related. Condemning his house? Yellow tape? Guys in white protective suits? Talk of isolation? The need to shave his head? Perhaps?
But fake vomit from Spencer's would be a lot cheaper.
Anyway, I'm still stumped, so back to the drawing board.
Quote from: ER on February 27, 2018, 09:43:15 AM
And, Trevor, the idea is to confuse my dad, not put him in a odor-induced coma, though if I get tax-audited again this year, I may take you up on the offer as a special gift to my caseworker. :bouncegiggle:
Just let me know well in advance: I will leave my undies unwashed outside in the sun for about two weeks - or for as long as the neighbours can stand it - and then seal them up. Then I will post them. :wink:
I saw a video today where someone bought a load of plastic ducks wholesale from China and then recreated the Nuremberg Rally in his flatmates bathroom with them.
QuoteNow I'm leaning toward something haz-mat related. Condemning his house? Yellow tape? Guys in white protective suits? Talk of isolation? The need to shave his head? Perhaps?
An official looking noticed placed on his door stating that bio-hazard levels are within exceptable range and chance of permanent damages to health should be negligible.
How about sending him a very official looking letter from Netflix stating that he must return the Frankenhooker DVD he has had rented out for the past 3 years or pay a fine of $1,500?
I actually have had a Frankenhooker DVD from Netflix rented out for probably over 3 years now. Still no letter.
I'm still thinking prank by mail is your best bet.
Run this by y'all... Reverse psychology. No stunt whatsoever, so he's left anticipating it and the tension grows? Could work, no?
Paper his house in pictures of Dick Van Dyke and then phone him and tell him he's been sent a load of "Dick pics".
That'd work!
I had an idea hit me that made me laugh uncontrollably and then feel deeply ashamed at my mind for thinking such a thing, 'cause it's way, way, way, way, way, way too dark. Trust me, I'd be shunned here, there, and everywhere for life.
So, the quest continues but...yeah, still thinking about some suggestions here.
Quote from: ER on March 02, 2018, 10:08:27 AM
Run this by y'all... Reverse psychology. No stunt whatsoever, so he's left anticipating it and the tension grows? Could work, no?
excellent.and snicker smirk more and more often the closer it gets to the 1st.
Look at him suspiciously and ask strange leading questions every once in a while as well. Keep him suspecting something
ooo, i like that csm! :cheers: