(Because I looked and looked and never found the old one!)
"I just turned around to see if my men were following me."
--George S. Patton explaining how a bullet came to graze his ass in World War One.
An exchange between Lord Uxbridge & the Duke of Wellington.
"By God, sir, I've lost my leg!"
"By God, sir, so you have!"
General John Sedgewick at the battle of Spotsylvania.
Confederate sharpshooters had been peppering the area all morning on May 9, wounding, among others, General William Morris. Staff officers cautioned Sedgwick not to approach the road, but he forgot their warnings a few minutes later when he walked over here to untangle a snarl in his line. When his men warned him to take cover, Sedgwick responded by joking, "They couldn't hit an elephant at that distance."
Just then, a sharpshooter's bullet crashed into his skull, right below his left eye, killing him instantly.
Quote from: Alex on October 10, 2019, 03:10:07 PM
An exchange between Lord Uxbridge & the Duke of Wellington.
"By God, sir, I've lost my leg!"
"By God, sir, so you have!"
Ha!
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on October 10, 2019, 03:18:57 PM
General John Sedgewick at the battle of Spotsylvania.
Confederate sharpshooters had been peppering the area all morning on May 9, wounding, among others, General William Morris. Staff officers cautioned Sedgwick not to approach the road, but he forgot their warnings a few minutes later when he walked over here to untangle a snarl in his line. When his men warned him to take cover, Sedgwick responded by joking, "They couldn't hit an elephant at that distance."
Just then, a sharpshooter's bullet crashed into his skull, right below his left eye, killing him instantly.
You forgot to attribute the source you copy/pasted that from, Sven. If you don't credit an author it implies it's your own writing, and that's at best uncool.
http://www.battlefields.org/learn/articles/death-john-sedgwick (http://www.battlefields.org/learn/articles/death-john-sedgwick)
Ok, here's a quote:
"ER, bite me. "
Svengoolie3.
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on October 10, 2019, 03:35:21 PM
Ok, here's a quote:
"ER, bite me. "
Svengoolie3.
Great response to getting called out for plagiarism.
As for amazing death quotes.
"
This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do." - Oscar Wilde's alleged last words.
Quote from: A.J. Bauer on October 10, 2019, 03:40:38 PM
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on October 10, 2019, 03:35:21 PM
Ok, here's a quote:
"ER, bite me. "
Svengoolie3.
Great response to getting called out for plagiarism.
As for amazing death quotes.
"This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do." - Oscar Wilde's alleged last words.
I love Oscar. He saved his best quote for last!
I forget which two famous Englishmen shared this exchange:
"Sir, in a year's time I would not be surprised to see you dead of the pox or hanged for treason!"
"That depends, sir, on which I embrace first: Your mistress or your principles!"
Quote from: indianasmith on October 10, 2019, 05:46:17 PM
I forget which two famous Englishmen shared this exchange:
"Sir, in a year's time I would not be surprised to see you dead of the pox or hanged for treason!"
"That depends, sir, on which I embrace first: Your mistress or your principles!"
I'm not sure with whom that brilliant gem originated but Disraeli quoted it, so it predated mid-Victorian times.
I use the old "What Fresh Hell is this" when I see traffic starting. I also use the classic "Oh for f**k sake"
"What fresh hell is this? I thought I told you to use up all the old hell before opening another jar!"
"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
― Mark Twain
"Not all who wander are lost."
J. R. R. Tolkien
"I don't know how to make any choices anymore; I mean, who do I vote for? I get the feeling that as soon as something appears in the paper, it ceases to be true."
T-Bone Burnette - The Wild Truth
"Look up here, I'm in Heaven..."
---David Bowie
"Lazarus"
"Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that fear contains information. It can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear."
---Craig Ferguson
(That quote has stayed with me a lot in life.)
"To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends."
- Benjamin Franklin
"Girls just wanna have fun."
Cindy Lauper.
"A girl is no one." - the Faceless Man
One tequila
Two tequila
Three tequila
Floor.
--Dorothy Parker
"Old weathermen never die, they just blow away...."
--Me (when a local meterologist died)
"Oh s**t!"
The last words of the late, great Cozy Powell.
"You're high-maintenance but worth it."
--Anonymous
"We all write our names on the sands of time, then the tide comes in and washes them away."
- Caesar Augustus
"It is better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than for her to marry the man she loves."
---Attributed to Marilyn Monroe
He that loves Glass without G
Take away L
And that is he. :bouncegiggle: :teddyr:
This was in one of my high school language books! :buggedout:
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
-Dorothy Parker (I think)
Quote from: El Misfit on October 25, 2019, 09:24:38 AM
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
-Dorothy Parker (I think)
That's a fascinating case of attribution. No one really knows who said that line first. Tom Waits said it on TV in 1977 and later said he read it on a bathroom wall. If Parker said it she never wrote it down.
"K-Mart is Your Savings Store, Where Your Dollar Buys You More!"
Yogi Berra didn't say a lot of the things attributed to him. if it sounds like something they WOULD say then it ends up getting credited to them
Same thing with Samuel Goldwyn.
I also have my doubts that Oscar Wilde ever really called Queen Victoria "short sista."
Not only are many supposed quotes retroactively applied to those who likely never said them, sometimes quotes on misappropriated quotes are suspect.
Wilde: "I wish I'd said that."
Whistler: "You shall, Oscar, you shall!"
In fact...... Well, here's a discussion on it.
http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/09/05/oscar-will/ (http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/09/05/oscar-will/)
Man was made for Joy and Woe;
And when this we rightly know
Thro the World we safely go.
---William Blake
"If, at the end of your life's journey, you find that you made some enemies along the way - Congratulations! That means, at some point, you stood for something." - Winston Churchill
"The less justified a man is in claiming excellence for his own self, the more ready he is to claim all excellence for his nation, his religion, his race or his holy cause."--Eric Hoffer
"Wait, was that on the 30th or the 40th of May?" - Brady T. (one of my sophomore students)
Collect the monkey --- some jackass
"There are lots of ways of being miserable, but there's only one way of being comfortable, and that is to stop running round after happiness. If you make up your mind not to be happy there's no reason why you shouldn't have a fairly good time." - Edith Wharton
"....because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low, any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me...."
(some Queen or other)
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
- DOROTHY PARKER
The only war I ever approved of was the Trojan War; it was fought over a woman and all the men what they were fighting for.
- William Lyon Phelps. Sermon, 25 June 1933.
Quote from: niccolom on December 08, 2019, 08:46:27 PM
The only war I ever approved of was the Trojan War; it was fought over a woman and all the men what they were fighting for.
- William Lyon Phelps. Sermon, 25 June 1933.
What? :question:
Quote from: Allhallowsday on December 08, 2019, 09:01:36 PM
Quote from: niccolom on December 08, 2019, 08:46:27 PM
The only war I ever approved of was the Trojan War; it was fought over a woman and all the men what they were fighting for.
- William Lyon Phelps. Sermon, 25 June 1933.
What? :question:
"it was fought over a woman and all the men
knew what they were fighting for."
I really, really got to re-check my posts before hitting the Post button!!
"If you give all the power to the many, they will oppress the few. If you give all the power to the few, they will oppress the many." - ALEXANDER HAMILTON
"Words are sacred, they deserve respect. If you get the right ones in the right order, you nudge the world a little."--Tom Stoppard