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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: dcj2112 on February 29, 2020, 09:54:37 AM

Title: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: dcj2112 on February 29, 2020, 09:54:37 AM
Are there legitimately good ones? It seems like even the best ones have a an element of crap to them.

I got the Something Weird double feature Hercules Against the Moon Man / The Witch's Curse as a Valentine's Day gift. The first is of course quite infamous for being on MST3K, but the latter is a lot of fun too. It's just so goddamn random. It takes place in a Scottish Village where a woman once turned down a man (probably happened more than once, but only once in this movie). When they grow old and the man is more powerful he becomes a judge and claims she is a witch, burning her at the stakes. The woman says she will curse the village to keep killing other innocent women as witches. 100 years later they are about to kill another woman when a Hercules knock-off namer Machiste (who actually is in A LOT of movies) comes out of nowhere to rescue her. Most of the rest of the movie is literally Machiste going to Hell to find the original witch to call off the curse.
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: RCMerchant on February 29, 2020, 10:15:38 AM
HERCULES AND THE CAPTIVE WOMEN (1961) has this monster in it...

(https://i.imgur.com/CnyRtHM.jpg) (https://lunapic.com)

And HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD (1964) stars Christopher Lee and an army of vampire monsters!
As far as 'good' goes...that's up for debate  :wink:
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: Ted C on February 29, 2020, 10:43:50 AM
Hercules (1983)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3czCEgxDDM
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: dcj2112 on February 29, 2020, 10:52:37 AM
Quote from: RCMerchant on February 29, 2020, 10:15:38 AM
HERCULES AND THE CAPTIVE WOMEN (1961) has this monster in it...

(https://i.imgur.com/CnyRtHM.jpg) (https://lunapic.com)

And HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD (1964) stars Christopher Lee and an army of vampire monsters!
As far as 'good' goes...that's up for debate  :wink:

I'm going to watch Hercules in the Haunted World as soon as it's easily available to me. I've wanted to see that movie for A LONG time now. Unfortunately even though I have two Mario Bava box sets it's no in either of them  :bluesad:
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: Allhallowsday on February 29, 2020, 11:22:39 AM
I have HERCULES VS THE MOLE MEN on VHS.  I haven't seen it in decades...! 
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: zombie no.one on February 29, 2020, 12:03:35 PM
Fulci's CONQUEST, and Lenzi's IRONMASTER. both from 83. both pretty dang terrible imo

I guess we're lucky Argento didn't decide to go there too...
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: Ted C on February 29, 2020, 02:31:08 PM
All of The Seven Magnificent Gladiators...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTrcufk3K-o
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: Alex on February 29, 2020, 02:33:27 PM
Always liked the 80's Conan movies.
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: dcj2112 on February 29, 2020, 03:30:46 PM
Quote from: Alex on February 29, 2020, 02:33:27 PM
Always liked the 80's Conan movies.

I loved those too :) I wish the director's vision came true and it became like the sword and sandals version of James Bond where we got a new Conan movie every couple of years or so. Even with Arnold probably moving on from the franchise at some point and being replaced like Sean Connery was with Bond it could have been a lot of fun.
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: Allhallowsday on February 29, 2020, 03:35:43 PM
Quote from: dcj2112 on February 29, 2020, 03:30:46 PM
Quote from: Alex on February 29, 2020, 02:33:27 PM
Always liked the 80's Conan movies.

I loved those too :) I wish the director's vision came true and it became like the sword and sandals version of James Bond where we got a new Conan movie every couple of years or so. Even with Arnold probably moving on from the franchise at some point and being replaced like Sean Connery was with Bond it could have been a lot of fun.
I like them CONAN movies too!   :thumbup: :teddyr:
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: VenomX73 on February 29, 2020, 06:06:49 PM
Troll 3 aka
Quest for the Mighty Sword (1990)
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: ER on February 29, 2020, 07:07:59 PM
Duh, The Thief of Bagdad (sic) is great!

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ8KCfCu23I#)

Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: Alex on February 29, 2020, 07:25:00 PM
Any of the fantasy movies that involved Ray Harryhausen:

Assorted Sinbad movies.
Clash of the Titans (80's movie, not the remake).
Jason & The Argonauts.
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: Allhallowsday on February 29, 2020, 11:06:37 PM
CONAN THE DESTROYER ending scene starting at molar extraction without anesthesia: 

http://youtu.be/XXqt9McMhyg (http://youtu.be/XXqt9McMhyg) 



Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: VenomX73 on March 01, 2020, 12:32:10 AM
oops. I didn't read the title... 'legitimately good ones
I listed a bad one lol anyway...

my top 5

Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Jason and the Argonauts (1963)
The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)
Clash of the Titans (1981)
The Beastmaster (1982)

(https://66.media.tumblr.com/fc67aa25ba7382030223d75a7756c7b1/tumblr_inline_opowccUlQJ1stk93d_540.gif)
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: dcj2112 on March 01, 2020, 06:20:05 AM
Quote from: VenomX73 on March 01, 2020, 12:32:10 AM
oops. I didn't read the title... 'legitimately good ones
I listed a bad one lol anyway...

my top 5

Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Jason and the Argonauts (1963)
The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)
Clash of the Titans (1981)
The Beastmaster (1982)

(https://66.media.tumblr.com/fc67aa25ba7382030223d75a7756c7b1/tumblr_inline_opowccUlQJ1stk93d_540.gif)

You can list bad ones. I was just curious about people making the argument for legitimately good ones.
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: VenomX73 on March 01, 2020, 11:28:36 AM
cool no problem.  :thumbup:
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: RCMerchant on March 01, 2020, 03:54:22 PM
I've never seen it, but I know I watch these mindless things, and if they have a monster-it's bacon!
And this has a monster!
CONQUEST OF MYCENE (1964) aka HERCULES VS. MOLOCH.
I seen some bad monster make-ups. This is BAD.

(https://i.imgur.com/ixI1Zwp.jpg) (https://lunapic.com)
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: pacman000 on March 01, 2020, 04:19:15 PM
The Fall of the Roman Empire is pretty good, as is Gladiator.
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: Allhallowsday on March 01, 2020, 04:25:57 PM
Ah, yes, good ones... 

SPARTACUS (1960) is all swords and sandals... and superb! 

DEMETRIUS AND THE GLADIATORS (1954) starring VICTOR MATURE is kinda bad and kinda awesome!  It's a sequel to THE ROBE.

SAMSON AND DELILAH (1948) also starring VICTOR MATURE is delightful.  GEORGE SANDERS' last word: "Delilah!" 

(https://66.media.tumblr.com/0b475188f29612b54da96b713eee827a/tumblr_oohj4yGJtI1sqf5tdo6_400.gifv) 

Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: RCMerchant on March 01, 2020, 04:32:18 PM
Quote from: Allhallowsday on March 01, 2020, 04:25:57 PM
Ah, yes, good ones... 

SPARTACUS (1960) is all swords and sandals... and superb! 

DEMETRIUS AND THE GLADIATORS (1954) starring VICTOR MATURE is kinda bad and kinda awesome!  It's a sequel to THE ROBE.

SAMSON AND DELILAH (1948) also starring VICTOR MATURE is delightful.  GEORGE SANDERS' last word: "Delilah!" 

(https://66.media.tumblr.com/0b475188f29612b54da96b713eee827a/tumblr_oohj4yGJtI1sqf5tdo6_400.gifv) 


I seen all them!  :thumbup:

I do like SPARTACUS the best, of course. With the late Kirk Douglas.
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: RCMerchant on March 01, 2020, 04:38:31 PM
When Hercules destroys the building he's chained to always stuck in my mind as a kid.
HERCULES (1958)- I wanted to do that to my school!
This is the movie that ushered in the peplum-Italian sword and sandle movies!
I saw it on some UHF channel back in the late 60's!

http://youtu.be/EKwkmptcCHw (http://youtu.be/EKwkmptcCHw)
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: dcj2112 on March 01, 2020, 05:35:34 PM
Quote from: RCMerchant on March 01, 2020, 04:32:18 PM
Quote from: Allhallowsday on March 01, 2020, 04:25:57 PM
Ah, yes, good ones... 

SPARTACUS (1960) is all swords and sandals... and superb! 

DEMETRIUS AND THE GLADIATORS (1954) starring VICTOR MATURE is kinda bad and kinda awesome!  It's a sequel to THE ROBE.

SAMSON AND DELILAH (1948) also starring VICTOR MATURE is delightful.  GEORGE SANDERS' last word: "Delilah!" 

(https://66.media.tumblr.com/0b475188f29612b54da96b713eee827a/tumblr_oohj4yGJtI1sqf5tdo6_400.gifv) 


I seen all them!  :thumbup:

I do like SPARTACUS the best, of course. With the late Kirk Douglas.

Not that late. He lived for about 60 years after it!
Title: Re: Bad Sword and Sandals Movies?
Post by: Gabriel Knight on March 02, 2020, 06:52:50 AM
I think we can all agree that the italian HERCULES movies, while a complete mess from the mythological point, are really fun and cheesy. Any fan of fantasy can enjoy those for what they are.

On a personal note, I think THE MAGIC SWORD (1962) it's a great movie, the dragon at the end is amazing. The costumes, while clearly cheap, still look great, as it does the scenery.

(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/rifftrax/images/3/39/Screen_Shot_2015-08-14_at_3.23.26_PM.png/revision/latest?cb=20150814214224)