Since the last the thread was up to Page 71 we should start over again.
You want to know why male brains mature slower than female brains?
Well it's because male brains fills up with dad jokes the older we get until it's fully groan.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He flushes!
What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
Why do they bury lawyers in 100 foot shafts?
Because deep down, they're not that bad!
Why didn't the biologist and mechanical engineer get along? There wasn't any chemistry.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: "Why the long face?"
What's the difference between a chestful of gold and a missing 8th grader?
I don't have a chestful of gold buried in my back yard!
(I tell this to my new 7th graders every year; it keeps them in line for a few days!)
^ ugh :lookingup:
What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
What's black and tan and looks good on a lawyer?
A Rottweiler!
I have decided to start breeding cattle on top of Mount Everest. Putting a whole lot of money into this project.
Truly, the steaks have never been higher.
A drunk walks into a bar. He says to the bar tender-"I'll bet you 50 bucks I can p**s in 5 shot glasses and never spill a drop on your bar!" So the barkeep says- your on!
So the guy stands up on the bar and p**ses all over the place. The bar keep says "You owe me $50!"
The drunk says- "That's ok- I bet some other guy $250 I could stand up on top on top of the bar and p**s on it, and the bartender will be happy!"
My dad has the hear of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Today is National Ball Point Pen Day! (It really is! :buggedout:).
Here's hoping everything in your day CLICKED!
When do you a bad joke becomes a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
These two guys walked into a bar, which is really stupid because if the first one walked into it the second one should have seen it!
My friend David had his ID stolen, so he's now known as Dav
I told my wife that my dream was to make an entire working automobile out of spaghetti.
She said I was crazy.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
My boss told me to have a good day....... so I went home. :wink:
A mouse is f**king an elephant.
The elephant yawns and smacks her head on the headboard.
"OW!" the elephant hollers.
The mouse says- "That's right! Scream, baby!"
The definition of ambition is a mouse crawling up an elephant's behind with rape on its mind.
The definition of self-confidence is when the mouse says: "I'm sorry, but this is gonna hurt!"
The pesimist sees the tunnel
The optimist sees the light in the tunnel
The realist sees the lights of the train
The train driver sees three idiots...
A priest, rabbit, and minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks :What will yall have?" The Rabbit said he doesn't know, only that he's there because of autocorrect.
Why is it hard to auction off Nazi memorabilia?
Because everyone looks like they're bidding!
(https://i.imgur.com/easePsz.jpg) (https://lunapic.com)
No member of Metallica has ever been on The Muppet Show or Sesame Street.
Master of Puppets my arse!
What do you call a monkey that eats Doritos?
A chipmunk!
What would you call Robocop if he was homeless?
Hobocop
A pun enters a room of ten people and kills them all.
Pun in, ten dead.
I'm a martial arts expert: with my bare feet I can smash a brick, chop a wooden post in half, and destroy a watermelon
yesterday I got beaten up by a ten year old before I could even get my socks off.
Quote from: Rev. Powell on December 15, 2024, 12:35:25 PMA pun enters a room of ten people and kills them all.
Pun in, ten dead.
😳😂🤣😅😃
Quote from: Leah on June 28, 2020, 09:59:28 PMMy friend David had his ID stolen, so he's now known as Dav
😂🤣😅
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None.
(Too soon?)
Quote from: Rev. Powell on January 26, 2025, 02:44:07 PMHow many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None.
(Too soon?)
haha!
today I met the guy who invented window sills
what a ledge.
Which body part goes out last when you expire?
Your eyes, because the pupils die late.
What did the lawyer say to the psycho arrested for serial-murdering ten lawyers?
"Hired your attorney yet?"
what do you call a baby sheep covered in plastic?
lambinated
I saw a guy sitting on a lawnmower crying, so I asked what was wrong
he said he was going through a rough patch
I bought some batteries but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again.
Q: How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None- he says it's already done and they stand around in the dark and applaud him.
Why are there pop-tarts but no mom-tarts?
Because of the pastryarchy!!
Q: What was the worst thing Eva said to Hitler?
A: Why are you painting? Don't you have work to do?
Quote from: RCMerchant on April 09, 2025, 03:09:57 PMQ: How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None- he says it's already done and they stand around in the dark and applaud him.
😳😅😆😀😃😄😂