Is there one person who for good or ill stands out above all others as having the most influence in making you who you are?
I think I'd have to say that person in my life would be my father, in the best sense.
No one. I've been marching to my own drummer since forever.
probably my older sister. She is very successful in life and my main portal into normalcy and normal happiness
My Dad, first and foremost.
Then my wife, whom I have known since we were both seven years old.
And my best friend, who knows me to the depths of my soul and still finds me worthwhile.
An old man -Nickoli Siskaninitz.
I went to school with his son Nick- he was my best friend. If I took the old trail threw the woods- I could walk to his house. We lived in the boonies.
I went to the Strand with Nick and his sister Daphne, and my cousin Terry.
I worked at that farm since I was 14. I shoveled corn, cut wood, skinned pigs, dig potatoes, pick pickles, and asparagus.
It was alright- because everybody worked hard. And drank hard after. :drink:
And Nick Sr and Ed Buddus, (he was russian too) and Motkya- which is Russian for "Mother"- who made homemade wine and goat cheese- on a wood stove. She was like 80 something years old. Me and Nick Jr. used to plow and plant corn on her back 40. Never charged her a dime. She was a nice lady who used to talk about WWII. She was tough. She owned a goat. So she could make cheese. To eat with her homemade wine.
I loved all these people.
Boring answer, but my father: even though I'm not too much like him. I've grown more like him as I've aged. It's mostly the way he handles difficult times and tasks that I admire and try to emulate.
Also an uncle of mine (my Dad's brother), whose personality is much more like mine. I didn't spend nearly as much time with him, though, and he died when I was in my 20s.
My mother. She taught me discernment.
Nobody honestly.
Kinda sad, really.
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 01, 2021, 06:26:42 PM
Nobody honestly.
Kinda sad, really.
Nobody knows my favorite poet, Unknown.
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 01, 2021, 06:26:42 PM
Nobody honestly.
Kinda sad, really.
Surely someone has been a
bad influence on you?
My parents who took an unwanted child into their lives and raised him. :smile:
Quote from: Rev. Powell on February 01, 2021, 10:06:37 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 01, 2021, 06:26:42 PM
Nobody honestly.
Kinda sad, really.
Surely someone has been a bad influence on you?
Not necessarily. I'm a generally horrible person and what with my various mental illnesses have made some fairly terrible decisions of my own volition. :bluesad:
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 08, 2021, 07:22:42 PM
Quote from: Rev. Powell on February 01, 2021, 10:06:37 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 01, 2021, 06:26:42 PM
Nobody honestly.
Kinda sad, really.
Surely someone has been a bad influence on you?
Not necessarily. I'm a generally horrible person and what with my various mental illnesses have made some fairly terrible decisions of my own volition. :bluesad:
You may have made bad decisions but I do not believe you're a horrible person.
Quote from: Rev. Powell on February 08, 2021, 07:36:59 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 08, 2021, 07:22:42 PM
Quote from: Rev. Powell on February 01, 2021, 10:06:37 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 01, 2021, 06:26:42 PM
Nobody honestly.
Kinda sad, really.
Surely someone has been a bad influence on you?
Not necessarily. I'm a generally horrible person and what with my various mental illnesses have made some fairly terrible decisions of my own volition. :bluesad:
You may have made bad decisions but I do not believe you're a horrible person.
Agreed 100%: anyone who agrees with my Mom about the merits of CKY, Viva La Bam and Jackass is OK in my book. :teddyr:
It's appreciated fellas.
I mean, I've not murdered or sexually violated people, so in that sense, yes. I'm not terrible on that front.
There's a bunch I've done that's truly been terrible and it's legitimately hurt people and I'll never forgive myself there. :bluesad:
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 10, 2021, 07:18:04 PM
There's a bunch I've done that's truly been terrible and it's legitimately hurt people and I'll never forgive myself there. :bluesad:
You probably should. If you would forgive someone else for the same behavior than you should forgive yourself.
Quote from: Rev. Powell on February 10, 2021, 10:43:30 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 10, 2021, 07:18:04 PM
There's a bunch I've done that's truly been terrible and it's legitimately hurt people and I'll never forgive myself there. :bluesad:
You probably should. If you would forgive someone else for the same behavior than you should forgive yourself.
Therein lies the problem. I wouldn't forgive anyone for the same behavior.
I'm probably at a point where therapy might be an avenue to pursue. I tried before.
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 13, 2021, 10:08:23 PM
Quote from: Rev. Powell on February 10, 2021, 10:43:30 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 10, 2021, 07:18:04 PM
There's a bunch I've done that's truly been terrible and it's legitimately hurt people and I'll never forgive myself there. :bluesad:
You probably should. If you would forgive someone else for the same behavior than you should forgive yourself.
Therein lies the problem. I wouldn't forgive anyone for the same behavior.
I'm probably at a point where therapy might be an avenue to pursue. I tried before.
Sounds like a good idea. Please do.
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 13, 2021, 10:08:23 PM
Quote from: Rev. Powell on February 10, 2021, 10:43:30 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 10, 2021, 07:18:04 PM
There's a bunch I've done that's truly been terrible and it's legitimately hurt people and I'll never forgive myself there. :bluesad:
You probably should. If you would forgive someone else for the same behavior than you should forgive yourself.
Therein lies the problem. I wouldn't forgive anyone for the same behavior.
I'm probably at a point where therapy might be an avenue to pursue. I tried before.
Self-forgiveness can be the toughest kind of forgiveness. Maybe it'd help to reach out to those you feel you've wronged. You might find more forgiveness of you from others than you expect, and you might even find some of them willing to help you get beyond the past. If nothing else, in attempting to make restitution you demonstrate to yourself and others that you've changed for the better.
Quote from: ER on February 16, 2021, 12:00:49 AM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 13, 2021, 10:08:23 PM
Quote from: Rev. Powell on February 10, 2021, 10:43:30 PM
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 10, 2021, 07:18:04 PM
There's a bunch I've done that's truly been terrible and it's legitimately hurt people and I'll never forgive myself there. :bluesad:
You probably should. If you would forgive someone else for the same behavior than you should forgive yourself.
Therein lies the problem. I wouldn't forgive anyone for the same behavior.
I'm probably at a point where therapy might be an avenue to pursue. I tried before.
Self-forgiveness can be the toughest kind of forgiveness. Maybe it'd help to reach out to those you feel you've wronged. You might find more forgiveness of you from others than you expect, and you might even find some of them willing to help you get beyond the past. If nothing else, in attempting to make restitution you demonstrate to yourself and others that you've changed for the better.
I actually did this and a bunch of us went to dinner. Was a good night. They actually paid for the meal so it worked doubly for me I would say. I did this over the weekend prior to the comments you've made but it seems a good stepping stone.
truth and mercy are two sides of the same coin
Apparently I'm harsher on myself than anyone else has been. "You're such a good guy." I kindly disagreed but :lookingup:
Quote from: HappyGilmore on February 20, 2021, 10:19:27 PM
Apparently I'm harsher on myself than anyone else has been. "You're such a good guy." I kindly disagreed but :lookingup:
That doesn't surprise me. People are often harder on themselves than others are.
I've been thinking about this one a lot, and ultimately I think I have to go with me. I've made all my decisions, bad or good, chose what to believe in, what career path to follow (at least one of my parents thought I was going to be a priest. Well, that only came true if you count World of Warcraft).
Roll with your flow, Happy.
Fvck what people think.
Wow, not one person here said L. Ron Hubbard. Not one.