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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 03:41:34 AM

Title: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 03:41:34 AM
when mythical Chupacabras and real bad movies collide, there are.... results?

here's one I've actually seen. it's terrible, but not in a SyFy type way you might expect from a post 2000 bad movie of this nature

(https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/uMgAAOSwgQ5hs4zU/s-l1200.webp)

the evil mad scientist is played by rapper and former Tupac Shakur's best buddy Treach. it might be the single worst rapper-turned-actor performance in movie history. he is so awkward in the role, which is odd as he is such a confident and hard hitting rapper

Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 03:48:38 AM
CHUPACABRA TERROR (2005)

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTgzZTczYmUtNTE3ZS00MDg1LWI4YTctMzdiMjhlZWU4YmZhXkEyXkFqcGc@._V1_FMjpg_UX1000_.jpg)

"When cryptozoologist Dr. Peña traps the legendary Chupacabra on a remote Caribbean island, he smuggles it aboard a cruise ship with disastrous results."

- apparently AI was already churning out plots 20 yrs ago.

John Rhys-Davies forgets he is an upstanding Britishman with a double barreled surname, and dives headfirst into bad movie land
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 03:53:31 AM
CHUPACABRA TERRITORY (2016)

(https://thenerdstemplar.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/chupacabraterritory.jpg?w=450)

you can't spell 'Territory' without 'Terr__or_'! (or maybe you just can't spell, and neither can I)

this one is a fOuNd fOoTaGe, so tick that subgenre off the list.
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 04:03:57 AM
LEGEND OF THE CHUPACABRA (2000)

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNDg1Nzc4NjE5M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMDI2OTk1MDE@._V1_FMjpg_UX1000_.jpg)

this one appears to be a documentary, or mockumentary, or Chupacabraumentary if you will, rather than found footage, but noting the release date is probably a BLAIR WITCH rip off anyway.

stars the lovely Katsy Joiner, who you probably all know best from her role as 'Agility Co-ordinator' in MY DOG, THE CHAMPION.

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTQ5NTA2NTA2Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwOTQ0OTcy._V1_FMjpg_UX1000_.jpg)
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 04:11:32 AM
NIGHT OF THE CHUPACABRA (2005)

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQiC-yqoFkJwooRl8dPmVV0hNbojBxWlnAZvg&s)

what the hell is that?

this one apparently goes for the 'reality show' angle, another subgenre to tick off...
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 04:18:52 AM
CHUPACABRA VS THE ALAMO (2013)

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMGFlNjRjOGMtMjQ0Zi00NmI1LWFkNTQtOTRmMzg5YWM5YWE4XkEyXkFqcGc@._V1_FMjpg_UX1000_.jpg)

This one stars Erik Estrada, maybe they should've called it CHiPACABRA hahahahahahahahahah

-note his "there's a chupacabra behind me isn't there?" face.
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 04:26:32 AM
THE LEGEND OF EL CHUPACABRA (2023)

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRED0WPwCgEcNqLE26W6QNeL37NMhCdnrL08w&s)

apparently this one has a prominent 'love story' angle? ain't nobody got time for that, there's a bloody chupacabra on the loose you donuts
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 04:33:08 AM
BLOOD OF THE CHUPACABRAS (2005)

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNGQzYjI4NmMtMTBmNi00ODY3LWFiZWMtNjAzNzZiNWRiM2FmXkEyXkFqcGc@._V1_FMjpg_UX1000_.jpg)

that's more like it
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 04:37:46 AM
RISE OF THE CHUPACABRAS (2003)

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYzczZDk1M2UtMmVjOC00Nzk2LWIwNjEtMjhlYTE3N2M1YjNiXkEyXkFqcGc@._V1_.jpg)

apparently this is live action not animation, despite the cover

"The Legend Is True", way to dispel the myth...
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 06:25:36 AM
hope you were spiritualltly enlightened by this trek into the darkside, there could be more bad chupacabra movies out there... lurking in the shadows   :buggedout:  :lookingup:
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: M.10rda on June 05, 2025, 08:07:03 AM
THANKS, bro... as if I didn't have a big enough backlog of Bigfoot movies to watch!  :hatred:  :bouncegiggle:  :thumbup:

I saw the Troma-released LEGEND OF THE CHUPACABRA when it was released or at least circa the early 00s. It's a serious and mostly competent attempt to do a found footage horror on no budget, not a Tromatic comedy (or at least not intentionally). I think I tried to watch the John Rhys-Davies one, as well, and maybe stopped or dozed off. It was dullsville iirc.

"Chupacabras vs Bad Movies... whoever wins - - - WE LOSE."
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 08:47:24 AM
Quote from: M.10rda on June 05, 2025, 08:07:03 AMI think I tried to watch the John Rhys-Davies one, as well, and maybe stopped or dozed off. It was dullsville iirc.
that one is ringing a bell for me also... might be confusing it with about 10 other films though

Quote"Chupacabras vs Bad Movies... whoever wins - - - WE LOSE."
:bouncegiggle: 

- I'm a bit disappointed with the lack of pre-2000s Chupacabra movies on offer, seems like a subject that would've been perfect for 70s/80s directors to get their, erm, fangs into?
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: M.10rda on June 05, 2025, 03:21:18 PM
I believe it's a concept that originated or at least rose to public prominence in the mid-to-late 90s... I've listened to old episodes of Art Bell from that era (I didn't begin listening to him live until '01) and callers and guests discuss "El Chupa" as if it's a novel phenomenon.......
Title: Re: Chupacabras vs Bad Movies
Post by: zombie no.one on June 05, 2025, 04:42:57 PM
ah right yep, that would make sense. don't ever remember hearing about them as a kid. first exposure probably the Super Furry Animals song 'Chupacabra' from '97....

- the word literally translates as 'Goat Sucker' apparently, which would be a good name for a bad movie, but an even better name for a dodgy metal band (checks discogs... it hasn't been taken, amazingly)