Bipolar Disorder has just been horrible. Been kicking my butt lately. Mostly why I haven't been in as much. Gonna try popping in more. Miss it here.
damn, sorry to hear
a very close friend has had bipolar for years, and has to take lithium.
not sure how it manifests in different people, but he has had several 'episodes' over the years where he just loses it completely. at any other time he's the nicest most calm guy you could hope to meet
Best wishes, I dated a girl with bipolar and it can be managed with the right tools.
Quote from: HappyGilmore on August 25, 2026, 11:04:43 AMBipolar Disorder has just been horrible. Been kicking my butt lately. Mostly why I haven't been in as much. Gonna try popping in more. Miss it here.
Sending hugs. 🙏🐢
Quote from: zombie no.one on August 25, 2026, 11:16:24 AMdamn, sorry to hear
a very close friend has had bipolar for years, and has to take lithium.
not sure how it manifests in different people, but he has had several 'episodes' over the years where he just loses it completely. at any other time he's the nicest most calm guy you could hope to meet
Yeah, it's dependent on a few factors. There's bipolar 1 & 2. I'm bipolar 2, which is more on the "depressive" side of it, with some mania, but my mania is not as severe... But the depression lasts longer than #1.
In mine, I've A few comorbid issues with it: insomnia, anxiety and PTSD, with addictive personality. I go days at a time with zero sleep, and spend several days drinking at a time. So we're trying to settle it. They're worried about the amount...
I came close to offing myself quite a bit. They didn't work. Thankfully I would say. It's quite a moment when you're at that point and you know you messed up.
But it is definitely not a lost cause. Create a companion for yourself. And you can make it through the day. Just not drugs! Yeah and if a Doctor gives you meds take them. But if they don't work then TELL Them! I am not going to go on a conspiracy rant or something you heard Laura Ingraham saying that meds are designed to make the problem worse. Because I think that some of them actually do work.
The problem too is, you hear about all of these great people (supposedly) like Dr laura schlessinger or whoever. But it is like, where are any of these people whenever you are having like some kind of extreme episode. Probably out on their ski resort in colorado.
Its like yesh. Self advocating then. And that is no fun. Actually reading Dr. Seuss books helps me a lot. I don't know why.
And if you ever meet a doctor who acts like they are really helping you and they tell you to come back regularly and to not "Ghost them," seriously punch them in the face. That is probably the worst term that I have ever heard in my life. If you are so called ghosting someone, you are obviously not doing it on purpose. It means that you are really struggling. And need better professional help. And treat yourself. Eat a Cheese, Apple, Walnut Salad from time to time. Or given that you have the teeth capable of biting through a walnut. I have bipolar too.
Quote from: HappyGilmore on August 25, 2026, 08:08:09 PMI go days at a time with zero sleep, and spend several days drinking at a time. So we're trying to settle it. They're worried about the amount...
obviously no two cases are identical but I feel like I've been somewhere near to that situation in the past.
gave up drinking and smoking on the same day, over 15 years ago. was strangely one of the easiest
and one of the hardest things I've done. but I really felt that if I didn't stop drinking altogether I'd be dead... it took me to get to that point.
wasn't the magic solution to everything that I hoped it would be, but did it help
Zombie if you were able to quit smoking and drinking and all on the same day I would like you to publish or write something about that! I would be willing to pay money.
You know sometimes I wonder if Dogs get bipolar. Or I wonder if Bipolar is linked somehow to sleeping. Seems like You and HappyGilmore are kind of inferring that it is. That is crazy because you have to sleep. Yeah you gotta write something about that quitting smoking thing. Every doctor that I have ever been to has said that. That I should quit smoking and that that would help immensely with my mental health. I'm like sure dude. You are the same Doctors who helped Matthew Perry! Nah, I am going to live how I want. Of course they are right but who listens to doctors.
Like Sean Connery says in The Rock, "The Blueprint's in my head." Yeah I will continue to do what I want. I have it figured out.
The Blueprint is in my head!
Of course.
Quote from: zombie no.one on August 26, 2026, 03:56:40 AMQuote from: HappyGilmore on August 25, 2026, 08:08:09 PMI go days at a time with zero sleep, and spend several days drinking at a time. So we're trying to settle it. They're worried about the amount...
obviously no two cases are identical but I feel like I've been somewhere near to that situation in the past.
gave up drinking and smoking on the same day, over 15 years ago. was strangely one of the easiest and one of the hardest things I've done. but I really felt that if I didn't stop drinking altogether I'd be dead... it took me to get to that point.
wasn't the magic solution to everything that I hoped it would be, but did it help
I did get fully sober for about 2 years around 13 years back. No booze or drugs. I did ok, but had an incident that just flipped my world and I went on a 2 week bender, barely came home. I still managed to work, but I was messed up every shift...there's bars and liquor stores here open at 6AM. I was going there til work at 9, then going out after work at 5, then sometimes after hours places. I'm not that bad off now, but I do still drink. I don't currently take medication, but trying to get back on. I lost my insurance after an accident I was in and couldn't work for 2 years, and couldn't afford to pay it anymore, and the medication without insurance quadrupled in price.
Congrats on stopping though. That's huge.
Quote from: Dalmatian Bobby Samaritan on August 25, 2026, 10:53:44 PMBut it is definitely not a lost cause. Create a companion for yourself. And you can make it through the day. Just not drugs! Yeah and if a Doctor gives you meds take them. But if they don't work then TELL Them! I am not going to go on a conspiracy rant or something you heard Laura Ingraham saying that meds are designed to make the problem worse. Because I think that some of them actually do work.
The problem too is, you hear about all of these great people (supposedly) like Dr laura schlessinger or whoever. But it is like, where are any of these people whenever you are having like some kind of extreme episode. Probably out on their ski resort in colorado.
Its like yesh. Self advocating then. And that is no fun. Actually reading Dr. Seuss books helps me a lot. I don't know why.
And if you ever meet a doctor who acts like they are really helping you and they tell you to come back regularly and to not "Ghost them," seriously punch them in the face. That is probably the worst term that I have ever heard in my life. If you are so called ghosting someone, you are obviously not doing it on purpose. It means that you are really struggling. And need better professional help. And treat yourself. Eat a Cheese, Apple, Walnut Salad from time to time. Or given that you have the teeth capable of biting through a walnut. I have bipolar too.
I did find a med routine that worked. My goal's to get back on them. I'm finally working again so I'm hoping to earn enough money to get my insurance back because right now I just can't afford them without insurance.
That salad sounds good by the way.
Quote from: HappyGilmore on August 26, 2026, 09:46:19 AMI'm finally working again so I'm hoping to earn enough money to get my insurance back because right now I just can't afford them without insurance.
Let us know how that all goes. Because a lot of us are in the same boat. It would be cool if you could make a blog or something and do like a month to month thing. I have a blog but barely anyone looks at it. And I think me being Bipolar has something to do with that. Because you get into some kind of high where you get into a certain mood or feel and start posting and putting up chunks and chunks of material. And then something like a Dead zone happens. And you neglect it for like a year or more. And you look at your activity and it is kind of pumping and doing good for those moments when you are productive. But then when you stop it is like those people are wondering, Ok..What the heck happened to that guy. Nothing.
They are like "I liked what he/she
was saying!" Yeah I mean it sucks. I got a bunch of likes and things too, but then when you hit that low and stop posting then you don't get any likes anymore. Of course it is because you aren't posting anything. The actor Joe Pantoliano has Bipolar. He has talked about it. No offense to him or people who like him, but I don't really get any inspiration from him talking about his Bipolar. I mean there are a lot of things that inspire me or get me feeling good and positive — like to get through it. But unfortunately you can't really convey some of those things like in a blog. It is basically just things that you keep to yourself. Actually checking in possibly to like a mental health clinic for a short stay isn't actually a horrible idea. They do things like activities and stuff and sometimes yoga.
I created a blog shortly after I joined this place... designed a banner and other stuff for it, and then made zero posts ever! it stayed up till a couple of years ago but now seems to have been deleted (not by me).
Never occurred to me to write about giving up smoking and drinking... not sure I'd have much new insight to offer... there's a Bill Hicks sketch where he talks about the guy who wrote a book about jogging: "I mean, what exactly do you write about jogging? Left foot, right foot.... go home shower!"... I'd feel a bit like that!
I do remember entire days would go by where all I could think about was either wanting a cigarette, or just thinking about the fact I was giving up. saw how much it dominated my life.
apparently a bunch of tobacco execs once testified under oath that nicotine was not addictive. so you're battling an entire industry that wants you hooked... or at least DID. smoking now seems socially and culturally taboo here. it's all vapes now (same difference?)
Quote from: Dalmatian Bobby Samaritan on August 26, 2026, 12:37:38 PMQuote from: HappyGilmore on August 26, 2026, 09:46:19 AMI'm finally working again so I'm hoping to earn enough money to get my insurance back because right now I just can't afford them without insurance.
Let us know how that all goes. Because a lot of us are in the same boat. It would be cool if you could make a blog or something and do like a month to month thing. I have a blog but barely anyone looks at it. And I think me being Bipolar has something to do with that. Because you get into some kind of high where you get into a certain mood or feel and start posting and putting up chunks and chunks of material. And then something like a Dead zone happens. And you neglect it for like a year or more. And you look at your activity and it is kind of pumping and doing good for those moments when you are productive. But then when you stop it is like those people are wondering, Ok..What the heck happened to that guy. Nothing.
They are like "I liked what he/she was saying!" Yeah I mean it sucks. I got a bunch of likes and things too, but then when you hit that low and stop posting then you don't get any likes anymore. Of course it is because you aren't posting anything. The actor Joe Pantoliano has Bipolar. He has talked about it. No offense to him or people who like him, but I don't really get any inspiration from him talking about his Bipolar. I mean there are a lot of things that inspire me or get me feeling good and positive — like to get through it. But unfortunately you can't really convey some of those things like in a blog. It is basically just things that you keep to yourself. Actually checking in possibly to like a mental health clinic for a short stay isn't actually a horrible idea. They do things like activities and stuff and sometimes yoga.
I've thought about doing a blog or some kind of stuff like that. Years ago. I get manic and write a bunch of stuff down...I've written some songs, poems and the like, but then I hit depressive episodes and end up like tossing the stuff away in the trash or just hide it somewhere and forget about it. A bid in a hospital would be ideal, honestly.
Quote from: zombie no.one on August 26, 2026, 02:16:00 PMI created a blog shortly after I joined this place... designed a banner and other stuff for it, and then made zero posts ever! it stayed up till a couple of years ago but now seems to have been deleted (not by me).
Never occurred to me to write about giving up smoking and drinking... not sure I'd have much new insight to offer... there's a Bill Hicks sketch where he talks about the guy who wrote a book about jogging: "I mean, what exactly do you write about jogging? Left foot, right foot.... go home shower!"... I'd feel a bit like that!
I do remember entire days would go by where all I could think about was either wanting a cigarette, or just thinking about the fact I was giving up. saw how much it dominated my life.
apparently a bunch of tobacco execs once testified under oath that nicotine was not addictive. so you're battling an entire industry that wants you hooked... or at least DID. smoking now seems socially and culturally taboo here. it's all vapes now (same difference?)
I've never smoked cigarettes, but everyone I know who has...has had an incredibly hard time quitting. I had a hard time quitting other substances so I guess I see that aspect.
yeah I suppose all addictions will have a common thread in there somewhere.
I've just remembered the term 'manic depression', I don't know if that's connected to bipolar?... don't seem to hear it mentioned much these days.
in the past I had long periods of depression where I was signed off work for months at a time, but the depression didn't really fluctuate, it wasn't an 'up and down' kind of thing.... none of the various antidepressants I was prescribed did a thing to lift it either.
I'm getting the impression that my councilor doesn't understand the concept of PTSD.....
Quote from: zombie no.one on August 26, 2026, 02:16:00 PMsmoking now seems socially and culturally taboo here. it's all vapes now (same difference?)
I should have been born in the 1960s.. And just been a comic book artist for some cheapo gazette in a local town or some local book reviewer and go after Isaac Asimov novels! Back when people cared about that. "The rules for Robots," or what have you.
Everything these days requires SO much maintenance. Congrats on not smoking. You are actually giving me moral support today to not smoke a cigarette. I have a good PDF about the tobacco companies written in 1976. I mean the PDF of course was not made in 1976 but it was digitized. It talks about the Tobacco companies. And yeah I mean those guys are wolves. Sometime I wonder if they aren't werewolves (I wouldn't be surprised if some of those cats have stock in casket companies. Because yeah they are really into it. I wonder if you did a percentage survey of Americans who smoke and the reason being, because they saw James Dean smoking in rebel without a cause if that would be like kind of a high number. Reminds me of when people do those percentage survey things about Genghis Khan. And how much of the percentage of the gene pool of Russia and Eastern Europe have Genghis Khan genetics because of how thorough his invasions were. Smoking and vaping now has become the new Genghis khan. Like supposedly you can't just say no..Like Genghis Khan. Trying saying no to that dude and look at what happened to ya..)
Quote from: HappyGilmore on August 27, 2026, 01:14:08 PMYears ago. I get manic and write a bunch of stuff down...I've written some songs, poems and the like,
Good poem. I think that it is about time to develop my own Democratically elected Chocolate bar king!
(https://pureprimategawain.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/scott-stanis-headless-football-player.jpg)
Oh man. The things that you throw away in the trash are the things you definitely regret. Years later. I am glad and very thankful actually for the fact that I have had supportive parents. Well for the most part. But they earn huge extra bonus points for the things of mine that they have kept — either for nostalgic remembrance or sympathetic, I don't know, and it doesn't matter. The fact is, the KEPT it.
Things that I would have (in my nonsense Generation X mindset) thrown away. And yeah I mean there is probably a limit that one can go with things like that. But then again that is why I am grateful. For the supportive cast. So yeah. Right now I am actually getting into a text war with my mom about Jim Henson because she thought the man was a genius. I mean to me — it takes a ton for you to become a genius. And Jim Henson doesn't fit that. And I am arguing more for "my generation" and saying that it is Sean Parker.
So yeah, you can get into these tufts with people. And even your own folks. Whatever all of that means, who knows. I have dug in dumpsters and I have seen so many cool things that people have thrown away. Like artwork and what appears to be sentimental things. Like letters with cool handwriting and sometimes small pictures. I mean probably not good enough to say, you are Todd McFarlane or Scott Stantis. I mean Happy Gilmore it sounds like you have a concept and a good one too of what is going on — in regards to your own mental health. Like Rev Powell Said, and I agree it can be managed with the right tools.
Quote from: Dalmatian Bobby Samaritan on August 27, 2026, 04:32:57 PMCongrats on not smoking. You are actually giving me moral support today to not smoke a cigarette. I have a good PDF about the tobacco companies written in 1976. I mean the PDF of course was not made in 1976 but it was digitized. It talks about the Tobacco companies. And yeah I mean those guys are wolves. Sometime I wonder if they aren't werewolves (I wouldn't be surprised if some of those cats have stock in casket companies. Because yeah they are really into it. I wonder if you did a percentage survey of Americans who smoke and the reason being, because they saw James Dean smoking in rebel without a cause if that would be like kind of a high number. Reminds me of when people do those percentage survey things about Genghis Khan. And how much of the percentage of the gene pool of Russia and Eastern Europe have Genghis Khan genetics because of how thorough his invasions were. Smoking and vaping now has become the new Genghis khan. Like supposedly you can't just say no..Like Genghis Khan. Trying saying no to that dude and look at what happened to ya..)
a work colleague smoker I know has switched to vaping instead. it can't be healthier? I think the 'fruity flavours' aspect is more devious because it attracts kids... funny how 'tobacco flavour' is not something that translated over to foods, strangely enough!
more power to you if you do give up smoking... been racking my brain to think of any worthwhile nuggets to impart?
one thing that has occurred to me in retrospect, was that when I was in the thick of giving up, I attributed any and every 'urge' or 'pang' to wanting a cigarette... but actually I think random cravings that spring from nowhere are just part of being alive. I seem to remember as a kid sometimes having them... like a sudden craving for... something!? which then cannot be sated.
when you're so used to nixing any and all cravings with a cigarette, you perhaps become conditioned into thinking that's the one and only source of the cravings?
[/psychobabble!] :bouncegiggle:
Quote from: LilCerberus on August 27, 2026, 02:56:53 PMI'm getting the impression that my councilor doesn't understand the concept of PTSD.....
Can you find a new one?
I've been through several
Quote from: HappyGilmore on August 28, 2026, 05:40:31 AMQuote from: LilCerberus on August 27, 2026, 02:56:53 PMI'm getting the impression that my councilor doesn't understand the concept of PTSD.....
Can you find a new one?
I've been through several
I've told my case manager; I think I might.....
Yeah, good councilors tend to be difficult to find....
It's getting dark again so. There's that. :cheers: