Fess up. Someone out there's gone and offended someone. Or some thing. Might as well own up now and make a clear breast of it.
I was surfing the web when I came across a rumor, a rumor that was soon confirmed as fact. Octopus 2: River of Death. As if the first film actually made money.
So who did it? It was that whole "Godzilla Movies Sucks" thread, wasn't it? You all know that director Honda originally wanted a devil-fish to attack Tokyo in the original film. And we all know what that a devil-fish is, now doubt we?
That's right.
An octopus.
The movie spirits have been offended, and now we all have to pay. In soul shattering pain
I hope you're satisfied.
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I am very tired right now, and easily amused. That whole bit above tickled me, and I hope someone will find it entertaining, or at least have some of the sting taken out of the bad news.
Yes, Octopus 2 is coming, along with several other killer animal movies of little note. Now, if sequels are worse than the original, how bad is this one going to be?
I ain't gonna watch it. YOU watch it.
Well, with the news about this real fish that can walk on land, and life out of water for three days, suddenly Octopus 2 doesn't sound so fake:
(sorry for the URL wrap-- do a news search for "Northern Snakehead" )
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20020712/ap_wo_en_po/us_alien_fish_1
Gee, a real live land walking voracious meat eating fish. All that is needed is for it to live downstram of a nuke plant, where the radiation enables it to grow to 12 feet long. . .
AAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NUKE IT......NUKE IT TILL IT GLOWS............KILL IT BEFORE IT SPAWNS AGINE!! I BEGG OF YOU!
"Northern snakeheads can live three days out of water and even walk short distances on their fins in search of food."
Neat! Learn something new every day.
I knew the octopus could live short times out of the water - damn smart creatures, too, as a matter of fact - but fish? That's neat.
I wrote a post for "Aliens Vs. Predator",and nobody visits it(maybe I should have wrote:"Paul Anderson Must Die!!" as the subtitle,and millions and millions would have packed it full).
And,no.........."Octopus" put me into a full coma,fifteen minutes into the movie.
Even Jim Wynorski and Albert Pyun would have culled out a far more entertaining movie.....
You're welcome. Now, how do we cast this movie. You've got the babe who works for the Dept. of Natural Resources, hunting this creature (of course she wears tight shorts & top.) Then there's the ignorant sheriff (who gets munched) and his deputy (smart guy, falls for the DNR babe). Also the teenage couples who go to makeout point conveniently located by the mutant fish (most of them get munched). And the sinister nuke power plant guys, who don't want anyone to know they've been illegally dumping radioactive waste (three guesses at to what happens to them).
Of course, the fish do lay eggs, so there is always the possibility of sequels.
And this movie could always claim to be "based on a true story" even if the only true part is that there is a fish that can live out of water for three days.
Humm....The snakehead even has a cool name to start with. Nice plot synopsis, Raj. Hey, diden't they have an EP. of the original OUTER LIMETS with such a "Bear"? Yeah, they did! p**sed 'em off, and they bored a hole through a dam to get one of thier own back, i think.