what evil genius came up with this one? the tagline says it all:
"just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...you can't get to it."
this is a movie about a BEACH that kills people by sucking them under the sand. so it's a movie with a lot of people sinking into the sand---except for their hats. there are a lot of jaws type scenes of people playing only their in danger ON THE BEACH!
as bad as all that is...it has "paulie" from rockie playing a character named royko---who is supposed to be from chicago---smokes cigars, etc. it's a buffoon character not like chicago's late great writer mike royko at all. it makes you want to kill your tv....or throw it onto the killer BEACH.
-mr. henry
I reviewed this over at www.scifilm.org, here it is
http://www.scifilm.org/reviews2/bloodbeach.html
if you dare to read it, that is.
Nothing is scarier than sand. Every time I change the cat litter, I break into a cold sweat. Somebody really tapped that innate fear of soil that lies deep in the hearts of mankind.
Blood Beach II: Don't you hate when Sand gets in your Crack???
Yeah, but i bet the grabboids could take him.
I think the movie's main problem was that it sandbagged for 90% of the time. One minute you have an attack, with the requisite running and screaming, but that is followed by fifteen minutes of people talking. Egad!
You know, I remember some sort of short "documentary" that aired around the time this hit the theaters. The host talked about how some thing made tunnels under the beaches; I think they even showed him in one of the "tunnels."
Andrew wrote:
>
> I think the movie's main problem was that it sandbagged for
> 90% of the time. One minute you have an attack, with the
> requisite running and screaming, but that is followed by
> fifteen minutes of people talking. Egad!
>
And they weren't even talking about anything really important, just about how, like, they didn't know who or what was responsible and how little money, time, ideas they had and, well, when was the next attack going to happen...?
> You know, I remember some sort of short "documentary" that
> aired around the time this hit the theaters. The host talked
> about how some thing made tunnels under the beaches; I think
> they even showed him in one of the "tunnels."
>
I smell a DVD supplement! Somebody gat Bill Lustig and Blue Underground on the ball!
liked the review chadzilla...
...misery loves company.
for nonstop action they should have put another monster IN the WATER. everyone could run back and forth between land-monster and water-monster.
then they could figure out a way for the two monsters to do battle and destroy themselves in the process. everyone saved. less talking=more interesting movie.
-mr. henry
Considering all the "straight to video" flicks and "SCIFI Pictures originals" with various Pythons, Crocs, Octopi, Sharks, etc. that have been making the rounds (not to mention getting suitably skewered on this site and others); I'm surprised someone hasn't done a remake/update/sequel to this one yet.
So don't give them any ideas, Biscuitrocious.
Ew, excessive amounts of Burt Young make my colon clench. Also: runner-up in the "Creeping Terror" Look-Alike Contest. (Rosanne Barr in a dress after a tub of chili still takes first place.)
Oh, thanks for that image, Squish. Now my psychiatric medications need a further bump. Aaaahhhhh! She's takeing off the dress! Aaahhhhhh!!!