Okay, last Friday you probably missed "Tornado Warning," a total-washout "Twister" ripoff starring what's-his-name from "Major Dad," Joan Van Ark in the Most Embarassing Performance In Her Already-Sad Career, and the usual flashes of bad CGI. Not as awful as, say, "Atomic Twister," but pretty damn bad, and wholly unoriginal.
But this Friday, you must not miss "The Omega Code!" Watch Casper Van Dien, Michael York, and Michael Ironside show the world why they should never be hired again. CGI by Atari, plot by Satan.
Keep 'em coming, PAX!
What's-his-name is Gerald McRaney, star of the "classic" Night of Bloody Horror . I'll always think of him as Rick Simon from Simon and Simon . God, I loved that show.
I have a hard time with the concept of any movie Joan Van Ark is in being worse than The Last Dinosaur . Now, I like Last and all, but that's because I watched it as a kid, and some of those Kid Vibes still get me when I see it. It really should be the low point in any one's career, and if Tornado Warning 's worse, well, I pity Van Ark something fierce.
PAX is all well and good when it comes to bad movies, but it can't hold a candle to the UHF station it bought out and replaced in my area; it played stuff like War of the Gargantuas, Plan 9, Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD, The Creeping Terror, Glen or Glenda... Just thinking about it makes me curse PAX and everything it stands for.
Friday Night Flix: Omega Code
Friday, September 20th 8/7pm
Ancient codes hidden within the Torah reveals the secrets of global events, past (i.e. Hitler, the Kennedy assassination, the Gulf War), present, and future. One man who is determined to get the Code, seeks the power to change the world as we know it...for the worse!
...sounds fantastic :) lol
--e
Michael Ironside's career thankfully won't be killed by his yeoman work on "the Omega Code",since he's got plenty of direct-to-video movies riding along our way within the next several years,thanks to the producers who vividly remember his immortal role as the lead villain of "Scanners"(which,of course,led onto many more lead villain roles to come).
For Brad: Michael York (AKA Logan, Basil Exposition) as the Anti-Christ? Yes, that DOES scare me, but not it the way they had hoped. This made a fair amount of box-office, using a similar technique to that which Scientologists use to make their books "bestsellers," plus the same sort of phony buzz that was used to make "The Blair Witch Project" a hit. (Interesting bedfellows, yes?) Spawned a direct-to-video sequel.
"Absolutely, Austin! I am the Devil Incarnate!"
For Cullen re "Tornado Warning:" Yes, Joan is actually worse here.
SPOILERS if anyone cares:
She plays the Mayor of Two River Bend, which is going to have a parade the day Major Dad's magical tornader-predictin' machine says an F-5 is going to wipe the town out. (THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S THE "JAWS" ROUTINE.) She even has her deputy thrown Major Dad's sidekick in the hoosegow fer tryin' to panic the townfolk. She even mentions a Native American ritual that is supposed to protect the town, providing the "pagan blasphemy" that will be struck down by the Wrath O'God ©. (This is on PAX remember.)
Unfortunately, Major Dad doesn't know what he's doing, really, so a day earlier he called a press conference to "prove" his machine worked--and it didn't. So even though the thing's fixed now, no one believes him--THE FOOLS! God will punish! Punissshhhhh!
He does save everyone in town by herding them into a basement, except the Mayor, who gets swept up, car and all, into the F-5. This leads to two post-twister jawdroppers:
(1) A news reporter states that the entire town was wiped out, except for one building (where Major Dad took everyone, natch). Behind her, we can see that this is not true: she's standing in a vacant lot full of "debris," but the rest of the town is fine.
(2) The reporter also says that there are no casualties. Wait, you say, what about the Mayor? She's O-KAY! Still wearing her cowboy hat and barking into her megaphone, she is shown being loaded into an ambulance. She is "in shock," yelling about getting the parade started and reminding everyone to re-elect her. Ha ha. God's Vengence © is complete. The ambulance doors close on an embarassing finale to a lousy career. Bye, Joan--say hi to Margot Kidder for us if you see her at the treatment center.
END SPOILERS
So the machine basically only helps if people are too stupid to get inside during a violent storm, and even then it's iffy. No one takes the advance warning seriously, no one does anything unusual, no one goes for shelter until the last second, yet everyone survives, including the people who stay outdoors. That's...an interesting moral you guys got going there.
Here's hoping PAX scrapes up "Left Behind: The Movie" too. They're saving me a bit of change, and I just fast-forward through the commercials anyway. (Cackles, disappears in a burst of flame.)
I...I just don't know what to say. You're not supposed to top The Last Dinosaur . It's...it's just not right.
And Rick...my God. Look how the mighty have fallen. I know, one detective t.v show and sit-com doesn't make one mighty, but, gee whiz. I mean, gee whiz.
Has McRaney ever been in a good movie? Jameson Parker (A. J. Simon) was in Prince of Darkness at least.
_____________________________________________________________________
Fun Fact to Note: McRaney is staring in all of these Moving Christian Series (PAX stuff). Parker appears in Prince of Darkness . The two played brothers on Simon &Simon .
Cain and Abel? Or am I a loon? (Of course I am. Just humor me.)
Don't forget Major Dad's (sorry, he'll forever be Major Dad to me) WB series, the PAXish "Promised Land" (AKA "Home of the Brave").
-------------------------
Secretary: "The cast of "Wings" wants another season."
Satan: "Tell them some things are beyond even MY control! RAAAAAAAAGH!"
--"The Critic"
>Has McRaney ever been in a good movie?
I have good memories of American Justice (AKA Jackals) which stars both Simon's brothers.
I wrote:
"Has McRaney ever been in a good movie?"
John replied:
"I have good memories of American Justice (AKA Jackals) which stars both Simon's brothers."
I responed:
Question withdrawn then.
Man. You sure lucked onto a cheese fest here, dude. Mind numbing stuff...if i had a mind.
I'm fifteen minutes into "The Omega Code," and...it's...killing...me. I fully expect Ambassador Krankor to come running out at any moment, barking, "Ya scum!!" Casper Van Dien--the poor man's Michael Biehn--is performing a miracle even now: redefining "ACTING!!!!" without emoting. Uh-oh...here...come...the...BOILS...
The sequel was called MEGIDDO. It opened in theaters the Friday following 9/11. It is one of the most unintentionally hysterical movies you will ever see.
MEGIDDO IS THE FIRST TRUE CAMP CLASSIC OF THE 21ST CENTURY!
http://nowff.hypermart.net/foy_1001.html
Read for yourself and tell me you don't want to see it for yourself!
B'God, that was horrible. Just horrible. There's a lot of crap flying about from the get-go--for example, the suggestion the Bible is supposed to be examined "in three dimensions," or endless shots of the same text being analyzed over and over again resulting in the usual vague prophecy malarky--the text even appears in the form of an animated DNA molecule for no discernable reason--but once the "unfriendly ghost" CGI effects start tormenting Casper, "The Omega Code" takes the final leap into stupidity in its purest form. The final two or three minutes are astonishing. Oh, somebody's going to Hell for this!
"The Omega Code" is the sort of thing Jack T. Chick would be making if he had money.
Next week on PAX is "Heart of Fire," a Patrick Duffy telemovie, based on a true incident, but doubtlessly turned into a sugary soup. Otherwise, it wouldn't be on PAX.
I saw OMEGA CODE in a theater where some people started applauding at the end. Apparently they had never actually seen a movie before.
MEGIDDO on the other hand is ever bit as funny as OMEGA CODE in unwatchable.
Reading that review was like a load off my shoulders...
About a year ago, I was channel-surfing, and caught the tail end of an interview with R. Lee Ermey on one of the big Bible channels. As if that weren't surreal enough, the interviewer closed by saying, "I've been talking to R. Lee Ermey, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES." I've been haunted by that clip ever since. What the hell was he talking about? Do they know something we don't?
Now that I've read that review, the clip makes sense. I no longer have to worry about a shadow government run by over-the-top character actors (although, come to think of it, I'd probably prefer that...). Now, of course, I have to see Megiddo.
The scary thing about Omega Code 1 and 2 is the amount of people who rented that piece of crap when it came out. I remember working at Blockbuster Video and people complaining we didn't have enough copies since they were all checked out.
Hell, I bought a copy of MEGIDDO the day it came out, but not for the same reasons that most those wanting to rent it had.
Anymovie where Satan looks up to the heavens and taunts God with "BRING IT ON!!!!" is a winner in my book! :)
NOVEMBER UPDATE!
Saturday November 16th--afternoon: Director David Giancola (MST3K fans will know the name from "Time Chasers;" Bruce Campbell fans will know it from "Icebreaker") has a stinkburger coming up on PAX--John Schnieder and Stacy Keach in "Lightning: Fire From The Sky," yet another disaster movie involving some psuedoscientist who can "predict" an oncoming catastrophe but can't convince anyone.
...Speaking of which, the horrific "Tornado Warning" will return on Sunday November 17th. Joan Van Ark, folks--worse than "The Last Dinosaur." I kid you not.
Check it! "Time Chasers," "Lightning," and "Icebreaker" all came from Edgewood Studios (http://www.edgewoodstudios.com/)! Check out the other astonishing crap they've scraped together! See how low yesterday's stars have fallen! (Oh, come on. "Killer Flood! The Day The Dam Broke?" Yes, that's not just a movie, that's cinema art.)
Foywonder wrote:
>
> I saw OMEGA CODE in a theater where some people started
> applauding at the end. Apparently they had never actually
> seen a movie before.
>
Maybe they were just really happy the movie was finally over.
I remember seeing promos for THE OMEGA CODE on the Trinity Broadcasting Network. They had their evangelists telling people to make plans for entire church groups to go out and see the movie. Even going so far as renting an entire theater if they have to. Well, that's one way to up ticket sales.
Now if you want to see a low-rent version of THE OMEGA CODE (yes, it is possible), check out the APOCALYPSE series. I own the fourth one, but only because it has the man, the legend, Mr. T.
Ok. OMEGA CODE is a great movie if you remember that it's Christian. Yeah, maybe if you idiots read the Bible more often you might get some of this stuff.
Chill out. It's those of us who HAVE actually read the Bible who get the biggest laugh out of exploitative, lunatic "end times" garbage like this.
"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men."
Matthew 6:5
Creepozoid wrote:
>
> Ok. OMEGA CODE is a great movie if you remember that it's
> Christian. Yeah, maybe if you idiots read the Bible more
> often you might get some of this stuff.
okay... i think it's hilarious that some people think just because something (ie: movies,music, ect) has a religious affiliation that makes it GOOD
NO!!!!
i have seen/heard alot of stuff that was total crap, quality wise, but it gets on the market and actually does well because it seems people are afraid of "God's wrath" if they say something made in"His" honor isn't good.
but.. i guess everyone has different opinions...
that's what makes this place so exciting
granted there is alot of stuff made to honor "God" (whatever religion you may be into), that IS good, some seriously great, uplifting, and wonderfuly done works that can actually stand on thier own away from thier afflilation. I am just saying that it's funny TO ME that alot of crap gets thrown in there too and it seems the only reason it DOES get thrown in is because of it's religious affliation.
my opinion
whatever....
kyla
I'm a fan of Left Behind (both movies AND books), go figure. I also enjoyed The Omega Code, although probably not quite in the way the filmmakers, as sincere as they liked to think they were being, intended it to be for me. I consider these things simple Christian fantasy, a point I hope to make clear, if I don't, sorry, I tend to ramble.
I am no eschatologist (the branch of theology concerned with the final events in the history of the world or of mankind) or dispensationalist expert, but the church I attend holds the time limit belief (that there is only such and such amount of time for the Dispensation of God' Grace before Christ blows the whistle, judgment falls, and everybody's out of the pool). The church my brother attends does not. A Christian friend of mine likewise does not believe in the end times theories. Both sides have compelling cases, but the dispensationalist theories have only been around for 150-200 years and were largely formed in the USA and have spread out from there. Whenever end times hysteria gets really cooking I just say 'Remember the great disappointment of 1849' - a Minister convinced his flock that the time had arrived. Everybody sold off ALL their holdings (farms, personal goods, etc) and stood out in a field and waited for the Second Coming...and waited....and waited...and waited...eventually the Minister admitted he got the math wrong and everybody had to somehow pick up the pieces of the wreckage made of the their lives. Somehow the Seventh Day Adventist Church formed from that rubble.
I don't have any texts close at hand to quote directly from (I'm at work), but I do know that the Bible (Old & New Testament) is pretty darn strict in forbidding listening to those who interpret omens, and that False Prophets can and will be found everywhere. I think the whole End Times predictions can be hearded into that, for Chist said only the Father knew the exact time and place the events would unfold, no one else. So when Pat Robertson (one of the biggest Salvation as Pyramid Scheme hucksters out there) goes on Hannity and Colmes and, when backed in a corner, says 2007 as the end, I just roll my eyes. Same goes to Hal Lindsey, John Hagee, Timothy LaHaye and all the others. I consider their non-fiction prophecy interpretation nothing more than infotainment (i.e. entertainment disguised as information, much like the true life haunting stories constantly sold by Ed and Lorraine Warren) that say more about those writing them than they do the Bible itself.
One of the things Squishy's bible quote can be taken as saying is beware of those that simply Talk the Walk as opposed to actually Walking the Christian Path. Always keep your eyes and ears as open as your mind, and pay attention to the details.
For this - Coming Soon: A sneak preview of Arachnia!!!!
Killer SPIDERS anyone? Oh, goodie!!!
:-)
on the way back from lunch i had the misfortune of catching a quite horrible song on the radio,( i mean it was BAD), but they were playing it because of it's affliation with the Tony Hawk Boom Boom Huck Jam
and realized it's not just religiously afflilated "crap" that get's airtime or put into theatres, it's where ever the money is
i don't know WHY that didn't hit me before i posted, oh well
so my apologies for singling out religious music/movies
it happens in all genres
everyone wanting to make the most money they can in the shortest amount of time
anyway, i am at work
bored to death obviously
with nothing better to do than post random meaningless posts
ahaha
sorry guys
kyla
Christian Movie Breakdown
OMEGA CODE: Good. I'll have to see the sequel.
LEFT BEHIND: Lord, what have I done to deserve this?
APOCALYPSE, REVELATION, TRIBULATION, and JUDGEMENT: A great series. Hope Cloud Ten doesn't dump it and go on with Left Behind.
Creepozoid wrote:
>
> APOCALYPSE, REVELATION, TRIBULATION, and JUDGEMENT: A great
> series. Hope Cloud Ten doesn't dump it and go on with Left
> Behind.
Well, they just finished Left Behind II: Tribulation Force (the DVD of which sold very, very well - evidently coming in #2 at Amazon, the first being Spiderman). So get ready for Left Behind III: Nicolae sometime soon (or not too soon).
I haven't seen the other series, but any movie that pits Paul Le Mat, Howie Mandel, Gary Busey, Margot Kidder, Corbin Bersen AND Mr. T against the Anti-Christ (Nick Mancuso) is a must see in my book.
Waterproof with Burt Reynolds, Deceived with Judd Nelson (and Louis Gossett Jr) are other must sees on my list.
I am praying that Cloud Ten is around for many years to come. :-)
PS - I've also seen one advertised called Escape from Hell, that looks entertaining, have you seen it, or anyone else?
I didn't like what little I read of the (Left Behind) books so I wasn't in a hurry to see the movies.
Then again, I ddin't like the VeggieTales movie either :) so what do I know about Christian Pop Entertainment...
Fearless Freep wrote:
>
> I didn't like what little I read of the (Left Behind) books
> so I wasn't in a hurry to see the movies.
I like 'em in a "Hey, I'm reading Irwin Allen's Production of the Book of Revelation in book form!" kind of way, they are to Bible prophecy what The Swarm is to Arthur Herzog's novel. Take that anyway you like it.
>
> Then again, I ddin't like the VeggieTales movie either :) so
> what do I know about Christian Pop Entertainment..
Haven't seen it, but I like the videos though.
I like 'em in a "Hey, I...
I didn't like them in a literary sense. Like the Harry Potter books, the excerpts seemed written in a very juvenile manner. I could understand maybe young teens enjoying them, but certainly not adults. So I was confused by their popularity. I guess it says more about our culture than the books itself :(
Haven't seen it, but I like the videos though.
Then I will withhold comment so you can come to your own conclusions
PAX seems to be on people's minds lately, so I thought I'd ask the question, "What would be the ultimate PAX project?" What would it be about? Who would it star?
I think it would be a mini-series with people dealing with the natural [sic] disasters brough on by the Apocalypse. I'm not sure who would star, but Casper Van Dien would undoubtedly be included.
Left Behind - The SERIES
Scary thing is, they are really making it. AND YOU CAN AUDITION!!! And NO ACTING EXPERIENCE IS NEEDED!!!
Think of it as The West Wing meets 24 with the Anti-Christ as President and the Born Agains fighting the clock to save souls and kick Ulitimate Evil's ASS!!!
Go to www.cloudtenpictures.com for further details.
I swear I'm gonna review some of those movies for this website, asap.
Kyla wrote:
okay... i think it's hilarious that some people think just because something (ie: movies,music, ect) has a religious affiliation that makes it GOOD
NO!!!! i have seen/heard alot of stuff that was total crap, quality wise, but it gets on the market and actually does well because it seems people are afraid of "God's wrath" if they say something made in"His" honor isn't good.
***** Has it occurred to anyone that maybe God is a bad movie fan? Think about that - how many bad movies take as their premise stuff from Revelations? The dead rising from their grave?
And the Lord said unto Raimi and Romero, "Go forth and make me crap!"
Squishy wrote: I think the whole End Times predictions can be hearded into that, for Chist said only the Father knew the exact time and place the events would unfold, no one else.
***** Just to throw out another take on End Times, many people (myself included here) interpret the End of Days/Second Coming/Apocalypse to be a figurative event that symbolizes death. In other words, when "the master of the house returns," and "you know not the hour," that will be a different time for everyone - whenever you should happen to die. Under this interpretation, the world itself in its physical form (the universe, not necessarily the planet Earth) goes on forever, but every soul has its own Judgement Day.
Still, the more literal interpretations have inspired some great fiction and some utter garbage, both of which I greatly appreciate.
: )
Speaking of the Apocalypse, anyone have opinions on The Rapture with Mimi Rodgers?
Dano wrote:
>
> Squishy wrote: I think the whole End Times predictions can
> be hearded into that, for Chist said only the Father knew the
> exact time and place the events would unfold, no one else.
Hey, I wrote that...
> ***** Just to throw out another take on End Times, many
> people (myself included here) interpret the End of
> Days/Second Coming/Apocalypse to be a figurative event that
> symbolizes death. In other words, when "the master of the
> house returns," and "you know not the hour," that will be a
> different time for everyone - whenever you should happen to
> die. Under this interpretation, the world itself in its
> physical form (the universe, not necessarily the planet
> Earth) goes on forever, but every soul has its own Judgement
> Day.
>
> Still, the more literal interpretations have inspired some
> great fiction and some utter garbage, both of which I greatly
> appreciate.
>
> : )
>
I, for one, am thankful for The Omen trilogy and Jerry Goldsmith's wonderful score.
:)
Hey, I wrote that...
***** Sorry Chadzilla - I got mixed up. I'll source my quotes better next time.
My bad.
John wrote:
>
> Anyone have opinions on The
> Rapture with Mimi Rodgers?
Well my wife saw it and was unimpressed, her description of the movie's story didn't snag my interest enough to make a go of watching it.
Anyone else see it?
Nothing, really.