Slasher sequels. Shakespeare. Fangoria reports. (http://www.fangoria.com/news_article.php?id=452)
Excuse me. I think I'm going to get drunk now. Very, very drunk.
This should be a stoning offense. It really should.
Edit - 9-23-02: When I first read the article, I read "film" instead of "novel." Which means that, technically, this post is on the wrong site. Up until some genius adapts the film, of course.
Beyond that, I hold to everything I've said.
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I can't wait to see A MIDSUMMER NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET!
Don't forget HENRY VIII: HENRY TAKES WESTMINSTER!
Ooooh....what about OTHELLORAISER?
DON'T HELP THEM!
Although, A Midsummer Nightmare On Elm Street is kind of funny...
NO! Must be strong! Mustn't give in!
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Honestly, though, it's books like this that give me hope as a writer. If someone's willing to publish crap like that, then they'll love my crap.
Wait. That didn't come out right...
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"The Denmark Nailgun Massacre: Hamlet's Revenge"
"Rosencrantz & Leatherface"
"Macbeth Has Risen From The Grave"
Twelfth Night of the Living Dead
Death Merchant of Venice
Henry the Fifth: Portrait of a Serial Killer.
Troma & Juliet (oops, already taken)
They should let you guys write them! The titles alone sound great.
Oth-Hellraiser-o
MacDeath
Hey! I already did that one! Quit copying from my paper! :)
The Killing of the Shrew
Much Adeath About Nothing
The Comedy of Terrors
King Lear is gory enough as-is. I believe there's a pretty good eye-gouging scene in there.
jmc writes:
"King Lear is gory enough as-is. I believe there's a pretty good eye-gouging scene in there."
There is one (count 'em) one eye gouging scene in Lear . Tame stuff
In Macbeth , Macbeth is decapitated, and the hero, Macduff, carries this “trophy†on stage at the end.
In Titus Andronicus [/i] there are mutilations left, right, up, down, and in-between. One character is fed her own children. This play is Slasher Shakespheare.
The Merchant of Menace
Macdeath
The Maiming of the Shrew
13th Night: or What you Kill
A Midsummer Night's Scream
You know, this'd be easier if they were just making these into trashy teen romance novels. I mean, with all the gender bending in Shakespeare, writing "As You Dyke It" would be soooo easy......
Jeez, Cullen, please don't sell Lear short:
Insane King driven out onto the moors to starve & die, but only his sick, mentally retarded withered fool succumbs.
One of his trusted henchmen is having it off with 2 of his daughters. One daughter poisons her sister & orders the strangulation of her other sister. She in turn eviscerates herself, after Lear has disembowled the slave that hung the other sister. Lear himself dies of grief & shock, all his daughters & their lovers die or are horribly killed. His trusted servant ends the play with a promise to commit suicide & follow his master, Lear. I'm sure I left someone out somewhere . . .
peter johnson
I remeber being in a bookstore about five years ago and seeing a paperback aimed at teenagers based on the Halloween series about a couple kids that break into the Myers house. Seemed a bad idea then and it still does. THat said, here are my titles-
As You Like It...IN HELL!
A Comedy Of Errors Part 2: Laughing To Death
I'll break topic for a sec to push my favorite Shakespeare adaptations--"Throne of Blood" (Macbeth) and "Ran" (King Lear), directed by Akira Kurosawa. Toshiro Mifune as Macbeth! BAM! "Titus" was on Bravo the other night, but sadly I did not catch it. I'll have to rent...
Anyway:
"Ballistic: Romeo vs. Juliet"
"Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Hamlet" ("Eat them, damned Dane!!" "Nay! I shalt not eat them on the throne! I shalt not eat them off a scone!")
"Look What's Happened To Lady Macbeth"
"Taming of the Killer Shrews"
Titus was a mindboggler. Style some times overcame substance, but haveing Hannibal as the lead seemed appropo.
....Great titles, guys!.
...."To be...or not to be.." The verbal equivilant of Duh,duh,duh,duhhhhhh! (Mike N.)
I've been studying Leer and do not recall the disembowlings. That's not to say they're not there - I might have past them up or a fuse in my brain sparked at that particular junction.
Still, it's tamer than Titus . Better, too.
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Squishy wrote:
>
> I'll break topic for a sec
Don't work about breaking topic. This topic is about a broke as it can get.
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Cullen - Whose envious because he can't think of his own mock "Slasher Shakespheare"
"Much Ado About Aunty Roo!" A ha! I knew I could do it!
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Cullen - Who has spent FAR too much time thinking up this title.
I stopped reading when I saw a planned PG-13 rating for the DOOM movie.
J.R. wrote:
>
> I remeber being in a bookstore about five years ago and
> seeing a paperback aimed at teenagers based on the Halloween
> series about a couple kids that break into the Myers house.
> Seemed a bad idea then and it still does.
I thumbed through one of those books once. It had passages like this:
"Michael Myers stepped into the hall way. Jessie struggled with the door knob, trying to escape Michael Myers. It was locked! Michael Myers stalked down the hall."
Bad, bad, bad. For novice writers: Do not write out a character's full name whenever you mention him/her. It's bad form
Ver bad form.
Unless you need to sssssstreeeeeeeetch it out to fit the minimum number of wordage.
Michael Myers stepped through the open door. Michael Myers looked over the darkened room. Dark save for the light atop the desk the hack writer worked at. Michael Myers saw the hack writer. Michael Myers stalked up behind the hack writer. Micheal Myers STABBED the hack writer! IT'S ME!!!! ARGH!!! AH!!! AAArrrrggghhlhf.....................................................
FYI...there was a series a YA Friday the 13th/Camp Crystal Lake novels as well. There are also some spun off from The Blair Witch Project, too. Maybe they should do The Omen? Wait, Left Behind. Been done. Dang.
Wasn't there a series of Freddy books, too? Great idea that...kiddie books about the murderous ghost of a dead child molester.
Chadzilla wrote:
>
> Wasn't there a series of Freddy books, too? Great idea
> that...kiddie books about the murderous ghost of a dead child
> molester.
>
Make them coloring books. They'll need to come with their own red crayons.
There was actually a paperback (what else?) novelization of "Friday the 13th Part IV: Jason Lives." I flipped through a few pages in awestruck amazement. A lot of it was told from Jason's point of view, as he resisted the "inner demons" that wouldn't let him rest in peace. (Rolls eyes, farts)
Long ago, Marvel Comics produced a line of black-and-white comic magazines, all of which were disasters. This was where "Howard The Duck," under a new writer, first slept with his human companion Beverly, complete with a VERY gratuitous breast shot (Excelsior!); one story in their "Dracula" rag involved Drac feeling up a naked little girl. (uh...Excelsior?) Anyway, Marvel's "Nightmare On Elm Street" series didn't last very long: the backlash was so great, even greater than the two prior examples generated. I never read it, but the story in the second (and final) issue that apparently set everyone off involved Freddy coming to the aid of a suicidal teenage girl, struggling to convince her that life was worth living...just so he could enjoy murdering her all the more. Ha ha ha, funny! (...Ecks.)
I hope the masterminds behind those rags are all alive and well and sobbing as they eat out of dumpsters. Bunch of creeps.
Well, uh, you know, I, uh...hell with it. I BOUGHT THE FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: JASON LIVES NOVELIZATION and I READ IT! It was written by one Simon Hack, oh, I me Hawke, Simon Hawke. Evidently my purchase of the book (which was terrible BTW, in my opine) spurred Signet into attempting the novelizations of ALL of the Friday movies to date (i.e. 1986). Hawke churned out novelizations of Friday the 13th Parts 1 and 2 within months/weeks/days (???) and then sanity, or an impasse, prevailed - probably poor sales. Duh. Read the other two (I DO frequent this board, what did you expect?), they were slightly better. On the first Friday he even attempted to write in backstory on some characters, not that that makes the books worth seeking out. I was hoping that the Friday the 13th Part 2 novelization would feature something like the original ending, but no it did not. So it goes.
In 1982 Michael Avallone wrote a novelization of Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3-D (the movie was - not the book) which was passable (in that if you see it on the used bookstore shelves you should pass it). Avallone also wrote a novelization for The Cannonball Run, which was everybit as fun and entertaining as the movie itself.
BTW Squishy, the Freddy talking a girl out of suicide to kill her yarn sounds gruesomely cool in an E.C. horror comics kind of way. Then again if it were in a horror novel/graphic book for adults it would be. Kids, well that's a different story all together.
<< Freddy coming to the aid of a suicidal teenage girl, struggling to convince her that life was worth living...just so he could enjoy murdering her all the more. >>
That sounds great. Damn, the 80's were cool. Remeber when slasher villains were big pop culture icons? Fuzzy memories flooding back...