Rob Zombie recently had a scary story writing contest on his website. Here is the winner that Rob himself chose as the best one. What do YOU think of it? Oh, by the way there's also a contest going on right now where whoever comes up with the most outrageous way to promote House of 1000 Corpses and sends them proof gets the hat that Rob wore on the Hellbilly Deluxe tour. That would make a nice trophy.
There's also a new trailer for the upcoming film at www.houseof1000corpses.com (lol! No I am not a plant!)
The Icy Fingers of Doom
Written By Nick Unthank
Gerard England wasn't a very popular boy. As a matter of fact, he was indescribably feared at his school, Crystal Lake Elementary... or so he would like to think. Actually his fellow classmates barely recognized him, and if they did, it was because they were making fun of his typical attire of black pants and Dark Shadows t-shirts. Gerard was a very intelligent child, and very well-informed on many literary works of the nineteenth century, mainly Shelley, Stoker, Poe, and Crowley. For a fifth grader, Gerard was very well-rooted. As a kid, however, Gerard lapsed in many forms of play.
"Hey Geri, throw us the ball!" shouted young Bobby Hodder, as a small orange kickball rolled its way to Geri's combat boots. Gerard looked at the ball, then the children before him, then his House of Secrets comic and kept walking to his typical spot; the last bench from the school, in the playground. The bench was the only one in the shade, and was directly in front of a large privacy fence that time had forgot, but termites didn't.
Gerard sat at that bench every day at lunchtime and read whatever comic he managed to buy from the local pawnshop by his house. He stopped there every Tuesday and Thursday since he was in third grade, buying comics he would so graciously sacrifice two chocolate milks for.
However, Geri had with him House of Secrets. Not just any House of Secrets, but issue thirty-nine; Detective Comic's "Halloween Spine Tingling Spectacular." Gerard sighed and opened his vintage publication of pulp horror and Twinkie ads. "They don't make em like they used to" he thought as he turned the front page, hurriedly skipping the annual words of Rain Harper and the warning of horror that he bestowed upon readers every issue. Gerard usually always read the tutorials of Mr. Harper, but his ball-looking tangent led him off schedule -- he now only had fifteen minutes to read the comic. Fifteen minutes was enough, Gerard was a great reader, but he liked to take in each panel as much as he could, and read each ad, and their foolish promises, and incredibly illegal libelous statements.
No time for ads now. Gerard quickly started reading. He found himself reading a truly "appalling, eerie, and sinister tale of a phantom corpse rising from its shadowy grave to wreak havoc on an innocent schoolyard."
"Cool," Gerard approved.
He started reading and watched a tale of terror unfold, opening on a young boy walking across a schoolyard wearing black pants and a JLA t-shirt. Gerard always loved how DC comics would promote its other titles in their own books. The boy was walking across a playground with a lunch-pail in one hand, and a Wonder Woman comic in the other. Wait a minute, Wonder Woman? Only sissies read Wonder Woman, Gerard thought to himself. He would have elaborated on the thought, but he was running out of time so he kept reading. The boy found a seat on a bench and sat down to eat his peanut butter and banana sandwich with Mott's grape juice and Twinkies. (Gerard also loved how DC would advertise for products in their comics and not just the ad pages.)
A narration block appeared on the next panel as it told the story of Wes King, a silent boy who did nothing but read his comics and eat his lunch, but today Wes was going to find something more horrifying than running out of delicious Mott's grape juice, and tasty Twinkies: he was going to stare terror in the face.
With a turn of the page the story got a little deeper, with a close shot of Wesley's Wonder Woman comic. It turned out Wes wasn't reading about the Amazon; he only took the cover to hide his spell book. Wes was going to raise the dead.
"This is getting better," Geri thought.
The panel changed and soon Wesley was reading aloud an incantation that would surely bring a ghoulish apparition and with it, his doom. "You lived once, rise again; come feast upon a human's skin. By the power of the Devil's eyes, I command you, monster, rise, rise, rise!" Wesley shouted.
Pink and orange swirls of colored ink swirled around the character as a decaying, bony hand broke from the soil. Wesley smiled with excitement as the zombie before him crawled from his grave, and hoisted his hideous body to the surface of the living.
After much grunting and growling, the phantom was out and standing before the boy that called him out. Wesley spoke to the monster as if it was a dog, "You lived once, but the living buried you, shoved you to the ground to forget and banished you from their world. Take that world back! Make the living pay!" the young boy shouted.
"I like this guy," Gerard mentally conversed.
"Go! Go and destroy them!" Wesley commanded. The zombie looked up and groaned a deep and petrifying groan, as more cadavers climbed from the ground, all throughout the playground. Soon kids were screaming, running from monstrous ghouls, and pleading for their lives, while others were being torn to shreds by the grotesque beings.
Gerard was starting to like this story, more so than any other. He was into this one more, it was as if he could sympathize with every creature, and support Wes in his army of the dead; but what was perhaps the strongest of all, it was as if he could hear the screams. With every panel he read, he endured another image of pain, fright and joy.
Finally the panels were starting to die down. The zombies were done eating their child prey, and were soon crawling towards Wesley, to look to their Moses for a way out of Egypt. "Yes, yes my minions, you have feasted upon the souls of the living, and have gotten your revenge!" Wes shouted, standing on the bench.
The zombies, however, didn't stop at the bench. They wanted to get closer to their leader, to thank him for his kind acts. "W-wait, what are you doing? No. Stay back. STAY BACK! NO!" but it was too late. The monsters grabbed Wesley and crowded around his body as they feasted upon his generosity. Oh man, poor Wesley, Gerard sympathized as he closed his comic. He flipped the cover over as he realized that he had rushed so much that he didn't even read the title of such a great work of art. "Icy Fingers of Doom."
"Hmm, the title needs work, but overall a good read," he critiqued.
Gerard yawned and stretched out as he tried to adjust his eyes to the un-pixilated world. When he did manage to adjust his eyes, he couldn't believe them. What he found was a playground drenched in blood and scattered with entrails. Gerard's jaw dropped. The comic was real. He stood from the bench and slowly walked through the schoolyard, taking in each ghastly scene after another. Suddenly, it dawned on him. "If the story was true-then that would mean that I " he stopped. He didn't want to finish the thought. He closed his eyes, and prayed to not let himself finish that thought. " then I would be next." He gasped in panic at the fate that he just sealed himself to. He cried as he stood there. He dropped the comic and slowly turned around to face his army.
What do you think of it??
Too many 'in' jokes.. "Wes King", could that be a nod to Wes Craven and Stephen King? "Crystal Lake Elementary" References like that break the 'spell' of the story by reminding the reader of something else rather than keeping them in the narrative.
Also, in a story this short, way too much time was devoted to the structure of D.C comics ('twinkies ads, ads in the text, etc..).
As a result of that, the ending wasn't set up well. The revelation that ''the story was real" had no real setup, no foreshadowing, and no real reason for being. It just sorta 'was' ands just sorta 'happened'
A pretty weak story with no scare
Was this a contest for young kids? There were a lot of typos and awkwardly structured sentences.
>> Was this a contest for young kids? There were a lot of typos and awkwardly structured sentences.
He stopped there every Tuesday and Thursday since he was in third grade,
That was one that stuck out at me
It was aimed at anyone who wanted to enter no matter the age. I agree, it does have it's flaws but not bad overall. On a scale from 1 to 10 I'd give it a 7.
Reminds of those small "scary stories" I used to read in library books back in 4th grade from the school library...
Decent, and could make an interesting short, but not too great. I'd give it a 5/10, making it average.
I'd give it a 3/10.
The story's a rehash. The "story in a a story becoming real to those in the story" has been done quite often. It's a workable premise with a lot of potential if handled well. It's fairly obvious from the description of the "Wes King" character exactly where's it's going to end up. Howver it doesn't really move from that point to the endpoint. The end just happens with no rhyme, reason, mechanism, or motivation (much worse, no progression from beginning to end). In the given space, the author spends far too much time in what seems to be attempts to be clever with nods to comic and horror culture. This works against the story two ways. First, it wastes valuable space in what must be a genre of economy. Second, it tends to remind the reader of much better efforts by the references mentioned. That shold really only be done a) if what you're doing is very good or b) if you're doing it tongue in cheek. This was neither.
What I keep thinking is if this is the best one chosen by Rob himself, imagine how horrible all of the other entries must've been!
What I keep thinking is if this is the best one chosen by Rob himself, imagine how horrible all of the other entries must've been!
I was honestly trying very hard not to make a similar remark :) Such as "this was the *best* of what he had to choose from?" :)
Did anybody watch the new trailer for House of 1000 Corpses yet? It looks pretty bizarre and crazy in true Zombie fashion. This film is #1 on my must see list. Too bad it won't come out until March 2003.
I thought the story was WAY too predictable. From the moment it described the comic character walking across the schoolyard, dressed similar to the main character, you knew 'real life' was going to parallel the story. I also agreed that the ending wasn't set up very well. The author should have said that the comic listed the spell used to raise the dead and had Gerard read it aloud. meaning he would have cast the spell also. Finally, I can't help wondering where the zombies came from, was the school built on top of a graveyard?