A few months ago I made an extreme flame post about the man Godfrey Ho. I come before you today with a small review I submitted to the IMDb today that I hope will give you a glimpse into what Godfrey Ho and the movie Ninja Hunt has done to me.
*Where could have I gone wrong?*
Why did I pick this movie up to begin with? I knew what I was getting into from the start, but that didn't stop me. Deep from within, where my innermost desire to hurt myself with cinematic horror lies, the voice screamed "forward ho!!" with such enthusiasm and vigor that can only make you wonder if you really are in control of your life.
Getting home and sliding this attack on all that is decent into my VCR was the only thing on my mind for the rest of the night, and when I finally did, I took some notes to record how I was feeling; they look something like this: "Ninja Hunt? Where's the hunt?--- NO! Those people aren't even in the SAME ROOM! How can you expect us to believe two people are talking, if they aren't in the SAME ROOM?? It's just, it- no! NO!! It doesn't make sense!! NO sense! ARGGH!!--- AHh! Another ninja battle!!? YES I KNOW you are a ninja!! The writing on your HEADBAND saying "NINJA" tells me that!! WHAT? NO!! Weapons don't DISAPPEAR when they hit the ground!! Why do you expect me to believe this!?!? HOW can you expect me to believe that!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? WHY???? WHY!??"---
Only at the end of the movie could I understand the full extent of the damage this movie had done to me. It was then that I realized that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. No loving wife, no adorable children; there was no way anything pure and innocent could ever love me, because this movie, this heinous work of film had destroyed me. That which makes me human had been sucked from my cold, dead fingers; and as I lay on my bed, staring emptily at the blank screen in front of me, I could only think of how this movie has destroyed and broken me in a way that is so horrible, so hideous, it might be what one thinks about when discussing Vietnamese POW camps and the ninth ring of hell. I hate this movie. I hate this movie. I HATE this movie.
Final judgement: Death by unspeakable horror
-Scott-
Scottie wrote:
>
>". . .WHAT?
> NO!! Weapons don't DISAPPEAR when they hit the ground!! Why
> do you expect me to believe this!?!? HOW can you expect me to
> believe that!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? WHY???? WHY!??"---
>
You've obviously haven't played enough DOUBLE DRAGON.
Easy Scottie everythings going to be alright.
i feel your pain...my NINJA HUNT experience:
Ninja Hunt - 1986 (NR). (VHS) Directed by Joseph Lai. A "real" kung-fu film with low-budget American footage added in. Added footage includes ninjas wearing bandannas with "ninja" printed on them as well as little pictures of ninjas. The added footage and real footage are "connected" with international-telephone-conversation scenes. NOT RECOMMENDED although the American cartwheel-fighting scenes are amusing.
-mr. henry