If you had the power to stop any type of movie plots or lame cliches from being used again, what would they be? Mine-
Any story involving an artist, musician, aristocrat or anyone else coping with the oppression of WWII-era Europe. It was an oppressive time, we get it.
A boy and his dog. 400 versions is enough.
Little British girls in horror movies saying "ominous" things that come out sounding plain silly. "You're all going to die down here," and "Let me show you something,", PUKE!
Space movies where everyone but the main heroes is British. Seems funny since I don't think England actually has a space program.
Arnold Schwarzenegger or Jean Claude Van Damme movies where they're supposed to be American and no one asks them what's up with the accents.
The Cook/Cabdriver/Fireman/CPA who, when faced with psycho baddies/terrorists/door-to-door salesman suddenly knows how to handle every weapon available, fights like a martial arts expert, and is also a demolitions expert.
young dissafected genius, has no direction, is befriended/arrested/or taught by old cranky guy who says wise, witty things for an hour and a half straight until said boy-genius learns the meaning/beauty of life and learns to appreciate poetry/literature/a free spirit. hooooaahhh.oh captain,my captain
How about war movies where the entire allied army is made up of Aamericans, there are no British, Australian, New Zealand, Canadian etc forces.
And 'ironic' slasher films that try to seem intelligent but are actually dumber than anything they make reference too. I really liked 'Scream', but as soon as those credits rolled, the genre was finished for ever.
Oh yeah, and Police Academy. Never again. I know it's unlikely they'll ever make another, but we really should create some laws to make sure. Then I'll sleep soundly at night.
Pete
PS. Arnold Schwarzenegger IS American, has been since 1983. And I think JCVD is too. It's not your accent that makes you American.
Movies where every religious person is the most-closed minded jerk on the planet, or secretly a pervert (usually priests).
Government, military, and Republicans always portrayed as bad guys.
Movies that ask us to regard cheating on you husband/wife as a romance.
Movies that don't clearly explain how a hero escaped an unescapable sitution. (the car seat in Minority Report comes to mind, how on earth did he get out of that and then drive away with a full tank of gas through an open door?)
And the big one, Teenagers in every friggin horror fim. It's like they turned the horror genre into Muppet Babies.
Old 50's sci-fi flicks, where the characters try to make sense of a crappy movie by throwing in some philosophical garbage. ex. In Robot Monster, the old scientist tries to separate himself from Ro-man by saying "Maybe it is choice that makes us different from the Ro-man" Uggh. Who hasn't heard that enough?
-Scottie-
Every person from Massachusetts talking like they're from Cape Cod or Boston. You know, we might not always pronounce our "r"s (f**k, we rarely do unless it's the first letter of the word), but we don't talk like this:
"I'm gonna get a BEE-AH and then CHEE-AH FUH NO-MAH!"
Any movies where the minority getd killed or the ending is forced and obvious
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I meant that they're meant to be American, born and raised. Same thing with Stallone, he was born in America, but come on, no one ever says, "Man, you talk weird," or "What the hell did you just say?".
Young kids added as characters only to be placed in danger and rescued by the heroes. Spielberg is very guilty of this, e.g. the "Jurassic Park" flicks. At least the kids in the first one actually had a purpose, getting the computers back on line.
The villain fakes his death to try for on last lunge at the hero, especially when he isn't looking. Just once I want to see the villain fall dead after a brutal fight, and the hero is so angry and worked up he empty a gun into the corpse and blurts out, "Making sure!" Ditto the multi-stage death, e.g. Cyrus the Virus in "ConAir".
The calm, cool (but not cocky) expert with experience dealing with whatever the threat in the movie is, but isn't the main character, who must die suddenly (and usually stupidly or carelessly) so our hero can rise to the challenge on his own.
Gun battles (especially in military films) where no one takes cover when it is available. Much hero fodder ensues. I'm not talking about scenes like the first battle in "Enemy At The Gates", with a historically accurate basis.
How about the horror films that never end? Is it a union rule that all slasher films have to have a 'the killer is dead-no wait he's really alive even though he was shot/beheaded/burned/crushed, etc.' ending? Can't they just kill the bastard and have the credits roll?
Or any slasher sequel in which the eponymous killer either tries to pass his powers onto an infant relative or is revealed to be the embodiment of some ancient evil, older than time, or goes into space.
'kay...maybe the reason the Americans are always portrayed more prominantly in WWII movies is because the movies are....I dunno...American made. Ever see Das Boot...yep featured a bunch of Germans....why? 'Cause it was about the men in a German U-boat...be kinda silly to have a token American. So...If a movie is focusing on a unit of American soldiers, sailors, or Marines, makes sense that they all be American. Okay...the British were involved in the war...there I said it. Now, go make a British WWII movie so I can complain about the complete absence of Josh Hartnett and Chriss Klein.
A troubled adolescent who learns about himself/herself and his/her place in the world through his bonding with a whale/squirrel monkey/seal/bear/orangutan/sasquatch...
In response to Deej. Yes it would be silly to have a token American aboard the U-Boat in 'Das Boot', in fact it would be completely stupid. That's because there are no nationalities other than German aboard U-Boats.
For that same reason, there's nothing wrong with having only American soldeiers in Vietnam War films. Because that's all there actually was. 'kay?
But for example, in 'Saving Private Ryan' the squad travel a great distance across France after the D-Day landings. No, there shouldn't be any other nationalities in the squad, it's an American squad, but at no point in the film, not during the landings and not during their lengthy journey and final battle do you see an allied soldier who is not American.
I have absolutely no problem with Americans being more prominent, being the focus of the film and even making up the entire leading cast. But to deny the existence of the countless soldiers from the other allied countries is kind of insulting.
And it's never justified to complain about the absence of Josh Hartnett and Chris Klein from a film. The less films they're in, the better.
Pete
Um, Pete....the allied armies tried to keep to their own areas to avoid fratricide. They might come across a Brit or Canuk group, but only if they are on the edges of a battle zone. Usualy scout units establishing the boundries.
The Aussies were in Nam, too. They fought very well, and many of out best commanders, ( Col. David Hackworth for one), wished we would have trained our guys in Jungle fighting, with the Boomers as the teachers.
I have no problim with seeing the other areas of the fighting. "A bridge too far" is a good one. "The Longest day" another. If your upset about recent films, then i can see your point. Still, all nations tend to concentrait on their own. No biggie for me.There were no yanks in "Sink the Bismark", but i still liked it.
I don't think the "Saveing Pvt. Ryan" was trying to knock anyone on our side. They just had two hours to fill, and it was not an essencial part of the story they wanted to tell.
OH! as to the post : Lets not see any more stinky markmenship by the hired thugs, okey? Lets make some more realistic shootouts, shall we? I;E, use some planning in these matters, and you'll make for some realy intrersting action scenes...please?
welp, there were Australians in Vietnam, as well. Not important. I don't remember EVER seeing any film deny the participation of any of the host of nations involved in WWII. I remember the French, English, and Americans being well represented in The Longest Day, also a good deal of multi-nationalism in A Bridge Too Far.
Films like Private Ryan and (God help us) Windtalkers focus on American units, are geared toward American audiences, financed and produced by American companies, therefore......the cast is American. Make a film focusing on an English unit and cast it with...oh I dunno...Englishmen...I'd buy a ticket!
And hey, at least the participation of the Brits was well represented in films like Braveheart, The Patriot, Michael Collins, and The Charge of the Light Brigade!! Lot's of Brits in those flicks. Regardless, at least we agree on the Josh Hartnett/Chris Klein thing. See, there can be world peace. 'Kay
>and the hero is so angry and worked up he empty a gun into the corpse and
>blurts out, "Making sure!"
That was done in Scream II.
Movies I'd like to ban;
Any film where all the problems are solved with either dance or music.
I'd also like to ban clip-shows on TV, where the characters sit around and have flashbacks to past episodes. Thankfully, you don't see those too much anymore.
But for example, in 'Saving Private Ryan' the squad travel a great distance across France after the D-Day landings. No, there shouldn't be any other nationalities in the squad, it's an American squad, but at no point in the film, not during the landings and not during their lengthy journey and final battle do you see an allied soldier who is not American.
***** The Americans in Saving Private Ryan were supposed to be at the southern end of the Cherbourg Peninsula. Check your history books for maps, Utah and Omaha beaches were the two westernmost. Americans were brought into the American beaches and moved from there. The Brits were moving in from the eastern beaches. The area in which the action in Saving Private Ryan took place was an area in which the allied forces would have been almost exclusively American. This was completely factual and accurate. If you want to complain about Saving Private Ryan, you should bemoan the absence of Poles in German uniforms and the fact that NOT ONE PLANE FLEW OVER UNTIL THE LAST 5 MINUTES OF THE MOVIE.
All that said, the Longest Day was a far more interesting movie because of its multinational viewpoints. If, as a Brit, you want to get p**sed at Hollywood, it really ought to be over U-571. Egad!
I like clip shows, the one sienfeld did before the ladt episode was better than the last episode.
I'm sick of movies where no one knows who the killer is. Wouldn't it be scarier if everyone knew who the killer is, but he somehow managed to avoid defeat until the end?
I'm also upset with people who are completely unskill3d winning....such as (one of the best worst films ever, "Red Dawn." How did a young kurt russel and a bunch of ruffians living in the woods conquer a bunch of heavilly armed russian soldiers? (as a side note, why dd the ruissians decide to attack a tiny podunk town in middle america?).
also, no more, "I love you, now I hate you, but we make up just in time for the movie to be over and there is much crying." This doesn't happen nearly as much as one would think.
also, no more "I'm terribly lost but somehow find my way home stories."
and no more "rags to riches stories" like pretty woman. businessmen do not marry prostitutes. it just isnt done.
o.k., i think im done now
Not to upset people on the board who are writers or who fancy themselves writers, but I HATE it when the main character of a movie is a writer. Writers are in and of themselves really dull. Seeing a writer as a main character in a movie tells me that the person who wrote the movie lacks the creativity and life experience to make a realistic character who is not like them. It also can be a sign that the movie's writer has a pretty inflated view of him or herself. Writers as main characters almost never work. The only exceptions that really come to mind are some of Steven King's works and "The Russians Are Coming."
How about showing people from the South as inbred twits? Not everyone down there wears overalls and lusts after their cousins.
Any sequel where the actor who played the hero either refused to return or died, so they're replaced with a supporting character or their brother or son.
I also hate it when main characters are writers. I think it's an excuse for the person to have adventures, because of the "flexible hours". It's like, "I'm a writer,", and it's never mentioned again.
And NO MORE main characters in sitcoms who are sports writers. If TV is to be believed, it's an easy profession to get into. Also, like in movies, it excuses their being home all the time.
I'd do away with Tough Cops On the Edge Who Don't Play By the Rules.
I'd also do away with all those ludicrously high ranking people under 30 years of age that crop up in movies.
One cliche I always hated, when the bad guy or monster is allegedly dead and someone sighs a relief and steps near them and..they GRAB THEIR ANKLE!
Can't we just kill the bad guy the first time, does there always have to be a second death just to scare the audience? (especially since it's so predictable now)
How to make the ankle grab work for ya: The bad guy/monster grabs the guys leg...and its a wooden leg.. Beast sinks fangs in it...gets a startled look on his face, then the hero says,"oops?", and blows him away.
I'm just sick and tired of Speilberg. In reality I wish the man no ill will, but if it's the only way to stop him from making movies I'd wish he'd die already! grumble, grumble.