I'm going to see the Daredevil movie next week and, being a serious comic geek, I will either really enjoy it or really hate it. So I thought I would post about movies that made you literally yell at the movie screen because they were so bad.
American psycho is one of my victims. Hated that piece of trash! I had read the book and it was a good read because of the way it was written but they translated it into a painfully boring movie. It wasn't even gory enough to keep me amused. Big waste of time.
Worst one, though, was Jeepers Creepers. Hated that movie! HATED IT! I hurled abuse at the end of that. I have enjoyed dental surgery more. At the end there should have been about another thirty minutes more. And where the hell did those wings come from!? Did I black out for five minutes and miss an important plot point!? Plus a sequal is coming out! Can't wait for that one
In defense of JEEPERS CREEPERS lousy ending, that was a case of the production running out of money and not being able to film the actual ending which was supposed to involve a fiery battle with the Creeper.
If you think AMERICAN PSYCHO is awful then you should see the sequel that totally ass rapes the first. And it has William Shatner too!
I must be the only person who liked Jeepers Creepers. The ending was actually good, in my opinion. Nice to not have an improbably happy finale for once.
The General's Daughter was a freaking lousy, predicatable, paint-by-numbers, assembly line, waste of time movie. I actually did yell at it at several points.
When I saw Independance Day I knew EXACTLY what was going to happen after about the first two minutes. I amazed people around me by even accurately predicting long stretches of dialogue.
"How have you seen this before? It's opening day!"
Heh.
Speaking of movies that ran out of budget. Anybody ever see Knights with Kathy Long (who is hot for a woman who can kick butt in real life), Lance Henriksen and Kris Kristoferson? Not a bad little B-movie, but they literally ran out of money at the end and pretty much left it unfinished.
I've been purposely avoiding American Psycho 2 for obvious reasons, but Shatners in it! Excellent! Anything with Shatner in it has some level of entertainment value. He's one of my personal heroes. That dude has nailed so many blue skinned women it's got to be a record! Prime directive!? Screw the Prime Directive! I'm horny Spock! Find me the nearest pre-industrial easily impressed planet!
To quoat Tom Servo. "Just because you CAN edit doesn't mean you should"
I also liked JEEPERS CREEPERS and wasn't too bothered by the ending because it was nice to see the monster win for once. Still, it did feel kind of abrupt as if the movie just stopped more than it ended.
Dr. X, Yyz, Sr. wrote:
>
> To quoat Tom Servo. "Just because you CAN edit doesn't mean
> you should"
Exactly.
Waste of my time movies
Street Fighter (Van Damme)
Mortal Kombat: Abomination
Batman and Robin*
Edward Scissorhands (I didn't get it)
*And Batgirl whose related to Alfred (what?)
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Meteor Man can kick Superman's ass
Jeepers Creepers rocked. Dug that movie thoroughly.
Movies that made me want to cast unspeakable eternal torment on the makers:
Center Stage
The Fast and the Furious (and all its clones)
I just finished watching Hatchet for the Honeymoon. What a boring load that movie was. Good idea, horrible execution.
Brother R
XXX
saying any more makes me angry
I liked the beginning of Jeepers Creepers....until we found out that the thing behind the truck was just another goofy monster and that it was just another goofy monster movie.
I also liked the ending.... the last shot of the film, I mean. Very dark and I liked it. So, cut out the middle hour of the movie and I would have really enjoyed it.
Yeah, I saw it. It didn't impress me much, but I think that was because the ending was lame.
American Psycho wasn't terrible, but I will agree that the book was better. I'd have to say as far as Bret Easton Ellis films go, Psycho was better than "Less than Zero" but worse than "Rules of Attraction". It's all relative though, cuz none of them were great.
"Jeepers Creepers" wasn't excellent, but it was much better than a lot of other recent horror movies. I mean, even if you were disappointed, you still should have supported it due to it's lack of cheesy teen stars. Assuming you're a genre fan, that is. I mean, even though it was "just a monster" at least wasn't just another serial killer from the stars' troubled past.
I'd have to say that Windtalkers was a waste of time, but I don't have much patience for war movies to bgin with, let alone ones like Windtalkers where the action scenes are edited oddly to the point of not being able to keep track of/care about who is who.
Well, the same thing could be said about "The Dark Half". That movie had good potantial but Orion went belly-up and the tail end of the movie was thrown together.
Jeepers Creepers could have been more scary if they never showed the Creeper. It's like the first few Halloween movies, not knowing who is under the mask is scarier.
Hey, I LIKED Jeepers Creepers! The monster was cool as hell, man!
Well, in my opinion, the Street Fighter movie sucked balls. As in Van Damme-him-to-hell's Street Fighter, not the oh-so-kick-ass Sonny Chiba Street Fighter. That movie made my balls itch at seeing the best goddamned videogame ever be butchered into unrecognizability. Interesting fact: Cammy in that movie was Kylie Minogue, way before anybody gave a s**t who she was.
Actually, videogame and comic book movies are almost always horrible:
-Super Mario Brothers: Not even John Leguizamo could save this one...
-Double Dragon: Not even Mark Dacascos AND Robert Pattrick could save this one!
-Final Fantasy: Awesome technology, s**tty movie. Where were the Chocobos? And ODIN! f**kING ODIN!!!
-Spawn: Not even John Leguizamo could save this one, times two!
-The Batman movies: Jesus, why doesn't anybody make a Jeph Loeb-written Batman movie with Mark Hamill playing the Joker?! HELLOOOOOO!!!
-Superman 3 and 4: The first two are classics. Four was horrible, and the third one not even Richard Prior could save!
-Steel: Note to Hollywood: Shaquille O'Neal is NOT an actor.
-Captain America: Rubber ears, eek!
Thank God Marvel is making some KICKASS movies now. Can't wait for Hulk, and GIVE ME GHOST RIDER, GODDAMMIT!
I thought Romeo Must Die was horrendous, too. Was this supposed to be a martial arts movie or a ghetto movie? And it wasn't even a good ghetto movie, like Boyz N' The Hood! If I see a Jet Li movie, I want to see ass-kicking, not f**king Aaliyah p**sing and moaning!
Any movie with Vin Diesel, except Iron Giant. XXX, not even Asia f**king Argento could save it!
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I have NEVER walked out of a movie no matter how bad it was. But I came VERY close when I went to see DUNE . . .
Got some anger there, Daniel? Heh.
I can't believe I forgot xXx. Yeoch, that was a Plot-O-Matic(TM) movie for sure.
Fast and the Furious was merely forgettable until the final race. If the Charger could run nine flat there's no way that Supra could have touched it, blown cylinder or not. The Charger had slicks and the Supra was on street tires, for cripe's sake! The outcome of that race was an insult to the audience.
You nearly walked out on Dune? Thought that movie was amazing. It wasn't as good as the book or the recent series but it was still visually impressive. I have to say the only movie that I can think of that I nearly walked out on was Armageddon. That film turned into such a sugar coated buddy movie at the end I thought my teeth were going to rot out of my head! I quote from the end where that dumbass shuttle pilot whose name I don't remember and really couldn't care about it turns to Liv Tyler and says:
"I just wanted to say that your father was the bravest man I've ever met."
Oh god I'm going to puke!!!!!!! Sugar coated CRAP!!!!!!!
>Superman 3 and 4: The first two are classics. Four was horrible, and the third one
>not even Richard Prior could save!
Persoanlly, I thought Richard Prior was the whole problem with the third one. It wasn't a Superman movie with Richard Prior, it was a Richard Prior movie with Superman in it.
That movie would have been improved 1000% simply by the removal of Ben Affleck.
I enjoyed Armageddon (except for Ben Affleck) the first time I saw it but it does not hold up to even one repeat viewing.
"Let's cut the nuclear bomb's detonator so it won't go off!"
(five minutes later)
"Why can't we detonate the nuclear bomb?"
Man, I forgot, I hate to say, but A.I. I love almost all Spielburg's movies, but geez this one SUCKED.
The Ring was a waste of time...I think it was another case of too much hype.
The Japanese version is definately better.
Also, I was very very angry after my viewing of the Blair Witch Project I (I actually liked 2...for some reason). After hearing people talk about how scary it was for weeks and weeks...I can honestly say there was more hype than actual scares in the film.
The only reason why Blair Witch had Any value to me is because I was camping at the time that I had seen it. I had gone into town for a shower and supplies and caught the movie for fun. Going back out into the woods afterwards was... well more interesting than it would have been otherwise. Like telling campfire ghost stories before going to bed...
Well, usually, I'd rush to defend American Psycho...but you're a fellow Ellis fan, and HAVE read the book, so it's all good. Glamorama's supposedly in production right now, and should be out next year, so...BOOYAH~!
Only movie that REALLY made me hate shilling out the cash for it (mainstream, not indy rental, of course) was that piece of utter s**t known as AI. f**k, even 8 CRAZY NIGHTS was better!!!
Wow, I forgot about Super Mario Bro., and--wait--oh damn you, man. Now I can't get it out of my head. I agree with Steel, Shaq as a hip hop artist is one thing but as an actor? Oh hell no! I guess after seeing the final print, DC demanded to strip the big 'S' insignia before it debuted. Question anyone remember the movie Blue Chips? On Spawn, do you think Martin Sheen should've strangled his agent for a role like that? You should have made THAT movie animated.
Two more entries that will make you pull your rogaine hair
Power Rangers: the Movie
Power Rangers Turbo
The second one especially because the first one, at least had the budget to have there "zords", if you will, computer animated. The second one went back to their old formula that made their tv show s**tty: putting an idiot in a box like costume and make him fight with what limited movement he has. Also, the kid. Why they put this annoying bedwetter in it is beyond me.
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Meteor Man can kick Superman's ass
I know a lot of people really enjoyed it, but I sneaked (snuk?) into the teater (did not pay) to see Predator and felt ripped off.