We've all seen it. An actor drlivering a line of diologue that makes you wince in embarrisment for an actor or actress.
Example? Paul Fix in "Night of the Lepus"....you try saying "There is a herd of killer rabbits headed this way" without laughing! Heck, maby he did. I would have!
Sheesh! Proves the man was a pro....
Oh, yeah, you gotta have a sence of humor to endure an experiance like that.
Soooo....what first comes to mind? How many times have you wondered what they Realy thought of the script, after the director says "Now read that line agine, and this time with Feeling!"
"I was afraid that everyone in the trailer would see right through me, and I just don't want anyone to know that...I've fallen for you."
--Kelly McGillis, "Top Gun"
Michael Madsen in "Species II": "Tell me where the cornflakes section is or you are dead".
OK, What about Tommy Lee Jones and Anne Hesch(sp) in Volcano. EVERY line delivered by these two made me cringe in pain and also threw me into some unforgetable flashbacks (um, .....the 80's party days--- orange sunshine!!!!!)
"Volcano." Unch. You ain't kidding--although the most embarassing stuff is reserved for (a) "Ice Cube's Ugly Brother" and the LAPD when they realize We Are All In This Together (obnoxious fart noise), and (b) Super-Stupid Self-Endangering Child--you know, the kid who staggers, crying in fear, TOWARDS the explosions--when he points out that volcanic ash has re-created a scene from "Lathe of Heaven." (So does the immediate out-of-nowhere rainburst, which washes away the all-knowing, all-healing ash, symbolize God's desire that the interracial fighting continue, then? Yargh.)
Here's a bit I found on the IMDB's quotes page for "Volcano." It's actually pretty funny--in a stupid way--but the movie's idiocy was so mind-numbing from start to finish that I don't remember it at all.
[Museum personnel are moving paintings from a threatened museum.]
1st. Guard: "Man, this Hieronymus Bosch is heavy!"
2nd. Guard: "That's because he deals with man's inclination towards sin, in defiance of God's will."
1st. Guard: "I didn't mean it like that."
2nd. Guard: "Oh."
Oh, no, I can't remember that. No, I have to remember how Tommy and Anne got trapped by the trifecta of the lava, an overturned fire truck, and a perfectly-placed burning palm tree. I have to remember the guy jumping into lava and then hucking a fat guy ten feet from overhead. I have to remember the final shot of people going about their normal lives around the base of an enormous active volcano, to the tune of "I Love LA." Sheeeee.
"Volcano" ends with "I love L.A." It should have been the Jimmy Buffet song! With the line, "I don't know, where i'ma gonna go, when de vol-cano blows."
"Dante's Peak" Nice FX, not much better then "Volcano". Mountains make better scenery then ....Arggh! Remember the "Dog trapped by lava" scene in "Volcano"...they had one in "Peak" too! I like dogs,but...woof!
You look really surprised at how much "Volcano" sucked. Do I have to remind you that the tagline for the.. er.. movie was "The coast is toast"? Enough said.
>Soooo....what first comes to mind?
"Alex? What is all this?"
"I... I've been to another planet, mom."
-Barbara Bosson & Lance Guest in The Last Starfighter.
I don't remember the movie (hated it) but the actress who had to say how cute Billy Crystal's butt was. I think it was JoBeth Williams. I dunno but that was really embarrassing.
And then there's the classic exchange between Gina Gershon and Elizabeth Berkley(sp) in Showgirls.
Gina: You've got nice tits. I like nice tits.
Elizabeth: I like having nice tits.
ARF!!!!!!!!
And then there's Michael Caine's dialogue in The Swarm. Here are two examples:
- And I never dreamed that it would turn turn out to be the bees. They've always been our friend
- Who would have thought the bees would have been the first alien force to invade America?
Double ARF!
"In case we don't make it I just want you to know you've got the biggest dick I've ever scene." -Brandon Lee to Dolph Lundgren in Showdown In Little Tokyo
I hope Brandon was paid well for that movie.
I agree with BryceDavid about THE SWARM. That movie has the stupidest dialogue I have ever heard in a big-budget movie.
At the end, doesn't Caine say something like, "Well, they're gone for now, but are they really gone for good?" He says something like that. Terrible.
Here ya go, Burg--the climax of "The Swarm" in all its glory.
HEALTH WARNING: Actually listening to the delivery of these lines may cause death by hernia, asphyxiation, or cranial detonation. (...) indicates Super-Dramatic Very Pregnant Pauses.
Helena (Katherine Ross): "Did we finally beat them? Or is this...just a temporary victory?"
Brad Crane (Michael Caine): "I...I dunno. But we did gain time. If we use it wisely...and if we're lucky...the world might just survive."
Yessir, they're really worried about the killer bees in Alaska, Serbia, Norway, and Hokkaido, Brad. (Chimp.)
These lines weren't in the original theatrical release; they're part of the expanded video edition. In the theatrical version, "environmentally-sensitive" Brad and Helena just embrace as they watch the Gulf of Mexico burn. (Brad would go on to join James Watt's staff in the Reagan administration.)