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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: Deej on April 01, 2003, 12:32:17 AM

Title: Alien Invaders Hate Tourist Attractions!!
Post by: Deej on April 01, 2003, 12:32:17 AM
Why is it that when aliens invade the planet they always blow up all the cool touristy places? You know what I mean? They always vaporize the  Eiffel Tower, or zap the Golden Gate Bridge. How many times have pesky ET's immolated the White House or Big Ben? Must they alway topple the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

What the hell do they have against points of interest? Are they just tired of visiting new places and running in to the same old package tours? Are they making a statement about overcrowding or poor souvenir quality?

If they hate tourist attractions, why do they just blow up the big ones in major cities? Why not go after The World's Largest Banjo, in Branson MO, or The Kansas Oil & Gas Hall Of Fame in Great Bend, Ks? Why does it have to be the Taj Mahal, or the Great Wall?Why not the World's Largest Piece Of Petrified Wood in Holbrook,AZ?

Just seems a little odd to me, maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Title: Re: Alien Invaders Hate Tourist Attractions!!
Post by: Squishy on April 01, 2003, 03:45:06 AM
It ain't just aliens; even our own planet's atmospheric...electromagnetic...thingie...hates them, as seen in "The Core." Don't forget terrestrial monsters! They hate 'em, too!

Not exactly a tourist attraction, but: I wrote Toho way back when "Godzilla vs Biollante" was released, and requested that in an upcoming film they consider frapping the crap out of Misawa Air Base, where I was stationed. (I even gave them my barracks number--which was painted in HUGE digits on the side of the building--for reference.) Obviously, they never did it--which is a shame, because in "Godzilla vs King Ghidorah," the very next film, his rampage across Japan took him close by, as did Rodan's in "Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla ('93)."

Funny bit from the episode "When Aliens Attack" from "Futurama" (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000083C6W/qid=1049182807/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-5398345-0673413?v=glance&s=dvd): We learn that in the 30th Century, all of Earth's monuments have been relocated to a single point--Monument Beach, natch--by a mad supervillian. Huge circular spaceships arrive on Earth, and of course they descend upon Monument Beach, recreating scenes we all know and love. (Then a little tiny saucer comes along and blows up Hermes' sand castle. b***hy!)
Title: Re: Alien Invaders Hate Tourist Attractions!!
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on April 01, 2003, 03:47:49 AM
If I was an alien or monster bent on destruction, I think I'd wait until March and descend upon MTV's Spring Break beach house.  Just think how much better a place the world would be if 10,000 raging Ja Rule fans were destroyed in one fell swoop.

Brother R

Title: Re: Alien Invaders Hate Tourist Attractions!!
Post by: Squishy on April 01, 2003, 03:50:17 AM
I'm sorry, that's Fry's sand castle, not Hermes'. Here's (http://www.gotfuturama.com/cgi-bin/imageview.cgi?/Multimedia/FrameGrabs/1ACV12/Grabs/pic00056.jpg) a pic of Monument Beach, you looky-loos! (Backtrack and you can see framegrabs of the attack, and Amy's topless yummers.)
Title: Re: Alien Invaders Hate Tourist Attractions!!
Post by: Flangepart on April 01, 2003, 11:14:40 AM
Humm...maby it would be cool to do "Local customised " versions of, say, "Mars attacks". That way, you could watch the Martians blast the Walmart down the road, and then its destruction would mean something!
Eiffel Tower, abstract concept....local Walmart, "Hey, i shop there...you bastards!"
Could be a giggle....

Title: Re: Alien Invaders Hate Tourist Attractions!!
Post by: Scott0 on April 01, 2003, 05:29:39 PM
>>If I was an alien or monster bent on destruction, I think I'd wait until March and descend upon MTV's Spring Break beach house. Just think how much better a place the world would be if 10,000 raging Ja Rule fans were destroyed in one fell swoop.>>

Damn. I like the way you think. Then again, with them gone, who's gonna fill the pockets of greedy MTV execs who arrange these things??

Title: Re: Alien Invaders Hate Tourist Attractions!!
Post by: Deej on April 01, 2003, 05:57:15 PM
Scott0 wrote:
>
> Damn. I like the way you think. Then again, with them gone,
> who's gonna fill the pockets of greedy MTV execs who arrange
> these things??

You know the cliche "There's  a sucker born every minute"? Well, cliches get to be cliches because they're true.

Title: Re: Alien Invaders Hate Tourist Attractions!!
Post by: Funk, E. on April 01, 2003, 06:01:47 PM
Let us immagine for a moment the glorious drama and attention grabbing action you'd get watching aliens systematically torch, oh, say 6 million acers of farmland... ooooh.... aaaaah!
Title: Re: Alien Invaders Hate Tourist Attractions!!
Post by: Deej on April 01, 2003, 10:22:37 PM
That could be interesting. Burning crops, farmers bemoaning the loss of their livelyhood, cows and chickens and horses and pigs and farm children running around screaming in agony, engulfed in flames, fur and skin melting and oozing all over everything. Fires are neato especially big mother humpin' fires that totally f-up everything around! Whereas monuments just blow up an crumble. Been done. Alot. A whole friggin' bunch of alot.

Title: Re: Alien Invaders Hate Tourist Attractions!!
Post by: Funk, E. on April 01, 2003, 10:30:51 PM
I was visualizing more the tedeous act of aliens endlessly marching with flame throwers, bored out of their minds because they've been at it for weeks. The burning of the field as Grant marched on Atlanta in Gone with the Wind was impressive, for thirty seconds. A movie focusing on the razing the fields aspect of the invasion might be a bit dull.